Jason: *pointing* Can I Sit There?

Zain: i made you a friendship bracelet.

Jason: you know, i'm not really a jewellery person.

Zain: well you don't have to wear it if you don't want t-

Jason: no, i'm gonna wear it forever, back off!

Salim: Why the hell is there blood everywhere?

Vampire!Jason: Well, you see, it's simple color theory-

Nick: so… I’ve seen you’ve been spending a lot of time with Salim recently.

Jason: no, Nicky, its not what it looks like, I swear.

Nick: oh really? so no reason for me to be jealous?

Jason: no! you’re the only one for me.

Nick: is that so?

Jason: i promise! Salim and I are just dating, okay? He’s my boyfriend.

Nick: so there are no best-friends-feelings involved?

Jason: you are still my one and only best friend! He’s just the love of my life, nothing more!

Nick: but I’m still the platonic love of your life, right?

Jason: of course bro!

Nick: bro...

Salim: what the-

Nick, out of the blue on a random tuesday: Cats and cows love me.

Jason: How do you know this?

Nick: Vermont.

Jason: Elaborate?

Nick: No.

Salim: Hostage or not, sometimes it's nice being held.

Jason:

Jason: Are you okay.

Jason: Why do you think I don’t like you? I do. I would kill for you.

Jason: Ask me to kill for you.

Salim: ...First of all, calm down-

Salim: Have you guys seen Jason?

Rachel: No, haven’t seen him since the storm started

Nick: Since the sto- JASON NO!

Meanwhile, Jason standing in the middle of a thunderstorm with a shovel raised high: STRIKE ME DOWN ZEUS, YOU DON’T HAVE THE BALLS

Zain with Tariq in town: I did that adult thing you can do where you buy an entire cake and just eat it.

Zain: I am eating an entire cake.

Zain: Update: there is more cake than I imagined.

Zain: I see now why my dad didn’t let me do this.

weewoo

Salim, whose first language isn’t English: Hello! I’m sorry if my English isn’t very good.

Jason, whose first language is English: Hte fuckign.