Chapter 7/8 Now Available On Ao3

santa saw you reading all that gay porn

chapter 6/8 now available on A03

→ marvel (mcu/comic), post-avengers 2012

→ bucky x steve

→ flawed super soldier serum, dark!steve rogers, mcu compliant with comic influences

→ canon-typical violence, bucky makes friends in the 21st century

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At first he felt like he was back in Basic; running miles every day on the beach, using new muscles to manage the unsteady terrain; getting knocked on his ass by Agent Barton with hand-to-hand, which Sergeant Barnes - plucked straight out of World War II - had a minimal understanding of beyond his boxing history. Tony was more than eager to get in the ring with Bucky - a literal ring, Bucky had found out once Tony showed him the at home gym - wearing boxing gloves overtop their wrapped knuckles.

When he couldn't sleep and needed to move, he found himself back in the gym. He was training nearly every day every week, but he couldn't put more than average strength on anyone unless Tony was in his suit. And unfortunately, after Tony's metal leg went straight through the ceiling, Bucky was grounded while the ceiling was knocked out and the bedroom above the gym was erased from existence. But at night? He could hammer the punching bags until they split and he was drenched in sweat, gasping for breath.

🌻 about me

av/cap, he/him

I'm an aspiring author and I use fanfic as exercises and to help with writer's block (: I have been writing for 10+ years, have led technical support groups for writers, won state competitions, and I also display original work at local art shows alongside my other traditional art.

I sometimes draw fanart, but I have an art business now so it's not super frequent.

@feathersatwar literally everywhere, even the accounts I no longer use.

archive of our own - all my big multichapter fics are available here

I may decide to use my instagram again, I'll link it if I do

🌒 what to expect?

marvel/mcu (mixing the mcu and comics are the best fanfic sweet spot) - stucky, winterwidow, etc

supernatural - destiel

the occasional percy jackson mood

epic the musical ✨

even though I don't write much outside of marvel and supernatural, I reblog stuff I like (:

I love writing anxiety, gore, romance, and action. What if universes are my playground.

I'm the captain of two trains:

→ captain barnes. I love the universe idea of if steve fell in the alps and bucky took up the shield to finish off the red skull.

→ jewish bucky. I'm jewish, sebastian stan is part jewish, bucky was likely from an immigrant family, and I tend to write bucky at varying degrees of faith/culture participation in different fics. If you have an issue with that, excuse yourself - this is a zero tolerance zone for bigotry of any kind.

THE MASTERLIST

not including old works on ao3, unless I have reposted them here

🪽 destiel

my destiel playlist | turning page

❄️ stucky

definitions of rage | ao3 dark!steve mini-fic

🌿 bucky barnes one shots

rely on time | bucky barnes drabble

40s captain barnes, a concept

🔴 misc marvel drabbles

soldier of the moon | moon knight character study

That Captain America Healing Factor is all well and good until someone on the team has to pin Steve down and re-break his arm because they didn’t splint it in time and it healed wrong. Until they have to dig a knife into his face and pull out glass fragments that his skin healed over in five minutes flat. Until he has to have surgery wide awake because no anaesthetic works and the only other option is a leather belt between his teeth and useless platitudes like its going to be okay Steve, I promise, it’ll be over soon.

JORGE IS THINKING ABOUT MAKING AN ILIAD MUSICAL IN THE FUTURE HELLOOOO??????

I need my Hector & Apollo songs please please please Jay I'm begging you please

fanfic writing culture isn’t “oh dang! I wanted to write about this prompt with this character but someone else already wrote it, so now I can’t”.

fanfic writing culture is always “two cakes is better than one. the more the merrier. there can ever be enough fics of this character with this prompt!”

chapter 2/8 now available on AO3

→ marvel (mcu/comic), captain america: the first avenger

→ bucky x steve, bucky x peggy

→ flawed super soldier serum, dark!steve rogers, mcu compliant with comic influences

→ gore, faked relationship, canon-typical violence

──────────────────

He aimed and fired at the soldiers as he ducked behind the shelves at the side of the room, unfortunately cornered but thankful for a shield regardless. He was more than able to hold his own, and he was sure of that -

His fucking gun jammed.

“Stop him!”

He knew that voice.

The fear settled over him like a blanket. Every single worry he had for this mission, it layered in his head as Zola’s voice pinged around.

You'll fail your mission.

Zola will have you again - he'll - the new fist of Hydra -

He gasped, his breath shuddering in his lungs.

Steve will get out alive, no one else can stop him but you - ain't that a fucking tragedy -

Would he save you from Zola twice?

chapter 3/8 now available on AO3 <3

→ marvel (mcu/comic), avengers (2012)

→ bucky x steve

→ flawed super soldier serum, dark!steve rogers, mcu compliant with comic influences

→ canon-typical violence

──────────────────

Bucky’s mind swelled with panic at the implication - Peggy, Monty - people he loved were dead all at once - but he had to take it in stride. He had to. There was no purpose to dwell on it. If he thought about it all too hard, he wouldn't be able to get through it.

What happened, happened.

He'd process it later. He had to accept it.

“Captain Rogers woke up about an hour and a half ago.” Agent Barton shared. If he noticed Bucky's barely buried alarm, he didn't say. “Director Fury handled him. He broke out and ran into Times Square.”

“Sounds like him,” he said, monotone.

“He's in a conference room. Fury's asked me to bring you once you're ready, so he can speak to you both.”

That made him come to mostly full attention. “He's not detained?”

Clint's head cocked to the side. “Neither of you are detained, Sergeant.”

Bucky opened his mouth to respond, but no words came out. They didn't know? How could they not know?

Rely On Time

Wherein I'm a whore for Jewish Bucky Barnes and love writing things inspired by religions and myths.

────

2023

Bucky had never truly felt alone in the world.

Of course, as the Winter Soldier, he hadn't had much of a consciousness to even consider that idea. Even when he was in Azzano, he had his men. Strapped to Zola's table in experimentation, the idea of being alone hadn't mattered so much, knowing he would be dead. Before the war, he had Steve.

Steve.

Fastened to his side, Steve had always been there. It had been a month, and he still couldn't believe it. That he would leave so easily, after all they had gone through. But that was just it, wasn't it? Steve had time taken away from him, had his freedom stripped under the stripes of that shield in an attempt to fight for the freedoms of others. Of course he would choose to go back for a second chance.

Bucky didn't have that option.

Eve was her own being, her own thoughts. Though fashioned from Adam's rib, she was not him. Her own desire lived within her and the snake knew it. But why is that a sin? The pursuit of Knowledge in the name of growth, even at the risk of disobeying God? Could it have been what He intended all along? He planted the Tree, he created the snake, he fashioned humanity knowing they would question it all - all for humankind to learn and grow, to plant their roots alongside the Tree.

He wondered, sometimes, what he was. Was he a collection of thoughts? Are people only the recollections of times past? He walked as living proof of not only a time that no longer was, but the strength of a people who lived despite all odds.

Despite all odds.

Was that all it was? Random chance? Did he ever fight anything? No choice but to accept the draft. Too sick to fight Zola back, barely lucid enough to keep himself from biting off his tongue. The chair, the abuse, was that all some twisted fate that he had to live through because it was meant to happen? Did all that happen so he could be where he was now, laying on cold hardwood floor because he was falling through his bed?

Could he rely on time, when it was ripped from him?

He sometimes thought about what his life could've ended up like, if he hadn't gone to war. He thought, at one point, that he would get married. As Adam and Eve wed under the Tree, he could stand under the chuppah in their image surrounded by love and life and foliage. Sometimes he thought about what it could be now, if things somehow got better. If he could sleep in his bed without drowning. If he could look a man in the eye and not see his ancestors instead.

Could he be a shadow?

Something that varies, melding and changing. If he was made of memories, what would happen if he forgot again? Hands of Esau but Voice of Jacob. Was he now building to the divine Israel? Making up for his wrongs, turning to virtue.

Was it worth it? Trying?

At this point, what could be good? What all could he love? Everything was a mess. He wandered.

Maybe he was meant to be lost. He could choose to believe he was worthless, aimless without his other half. Or he could make his own choices; eat the apple like Eve, take the virtue like Israel, and trust that someday, everything that happened to him would make sense.

And that one day, he could trust that he wouldn't ever be alone again.

Odysseus after ten years of suffering, picking up Poseidon’s trident: Traumatize them back :)

Poseidon: Hey… Buddy… can we talk about this?

Odysseus: No :)