Chapter 3/8 Now Available On AO3

🌻 about me

av/cap, he/him

I'm an aspiring author and I use fanfic as exercises and to help with writer's block (: I have been writing for 10+ years, have led technical support groups for writers, won state competitions, and I also display original work at local art shows alongside my other traditional art.

I sometimes draw fanart, but I have an art business now so it's not super frequent.

@feathersatwar literally everywhere, even the accounts I no longer use.

archive of our own - all my big multichapter fics are available here

I may decide to use my instagram again, I'll link it if I do

🌒 what to expect?

marvel/mcu (mixing the mcu and comics are the best fanfic sweet spot) - stucky, winterwidow, etc

supernatural - destiel

the occasional percy jackson mood

epic the musical ✨

even though I don't write much outside of marvel and supernatural, I reblog stuff I like (:

I love writing anxiety, gore, romance, and action. What if universes are my playground.

I'm the captain of two trains:

→ captain barnes. I love the universe idea of if steve fell in the alps and bucky took up the shield to finish off the red skull.

→ jewish bucky. I'm jewish, sebastian stan is part jewish, bucky was likely from an immigrant family, and I tend to write bucky at varying degrees of faith/culture participation in different fics. If you have an issue with that, excuse yourself - this is a zero tolerance zone for bigotry of any kind.

THE MASTERLIST

not including old works on ao3, unless I have reposted them here

🪽 destiel

my destiel playlist | turning page

❄️ stucky

definitions of rage | ao3 dark!steve mini-fic

🌿 bucky barnes one shots

rely on time | bucky barnes drabble

40s captain barnes, a concept

🔴 misc marvel drabbles

soldier of the moon | moon knight character study

filtering down ao3 results from 14000 to 6 based on a single tag is foul. im sorry none of you are as enlightened as me ig.

Fact:

The MCU!Bucky we know and love dearly is based off of a gay Jewish character Arnie Roth (Earth 616). The MCU has a duty to properly & respectfully include & represent these parts of his identity.

They say their company loves the LGBT+ community yet its been 10 years since Bucky, who is one of their most popular characters, was introduced to the MCU (and far more years w/o any rep at all) yet they still refuse to confirm that he’s gay (or Jewish) nor have they ever admitted to taking Arnie’s backstory (this even includes the “ladies man” persona which was nothing more than a cover, he was never actually attracted to those women) & personality and giving it to Bucky.

kudos to jorge for continually making the release of the ithaca saga an immersive experience by going to ithaca itself, missing the ferry, getting caught in a storm, and having the livestream delayed. can’t wait to see everyone in ten years for the final album!

so… sam and dean use jewish words/phrases all the time & they have a relative named MOISHE from NEW YORK but im supposed to believe they aren’t jewish? hmm

the russos have committed so many sins but i might just forgive them if they have bucky in this wig for doomsday

What isn't there to love about the idea of MCU Bucky becoming Captain America?

It's the right thing to do, isn't it? He was the one who watched him fall. (He tried to catch him but he only caught his tags. The bitter cold tore him away in the blink of an eye, with a scream that Bucky hears when he tries to sleep.) Steve was the best of them both, and if he thought this cause was one to die for, then Bucky would finish it. He's followed him this far, hasn't he? Long enough for the bruises Zola gave him to fade, but not enough that hearing his voice in that train wouldn't make him freeze. (What if he finds him? What if he go back there, strapped down, poked and prodded and injected with God knows what -)

But besides that?

There's nothing.

He's known Steve almost his entire life. He barely remembers a time where there wasn't Steve. He once had him to himself, only he saw the goodness in him, he loved him first, but now he shared it with the world. Because of some holy serum; but the bastardized version of the same thing ran in his own veins, and Bucky knew deep down that he would never be Steve. He could try, but he could never be him to the world.

So why wouldn't he crash that plane?

He never wanted to be a weapon. But he wakes up, and it's asked of him again. Be a soldier. Be an officer. Be Captain America. His gun was an extension of himself, the shield of Steve, and he would never, ever drop either of them. (Not again. He dreamt of it, that scream still scratched into his brain no matter how much time had actually passed, seventy years or seven days.)

And then, one day, beyond his wildest dreams, he'd see him again. But this? This hollow ghost? This isn't the Steve he knows and loves. But he slips from his fingers again,

And on that helicarrier, the glass cracks beneath his feet, bullet wounds and serrated skin and black bruises, but he still has it in him - he catches him. Metal fingers that were foreign to him, but still, Steve.

Never again. Never without him.

"I know chatgpt is bad but you just don't really have any choice" you literally do. Don't use it. Have some moral backbone.

chapter 1/4 now available on A03

→ supernatural (tv 2005), pre-series

→ exploration of dean's bisexuality and trauma, over time

the list of canon/actor’s theories/accidentally canon plotlines this mini fic touches on:

→ Jensen’s thought that at some point when John didn't leave his sons enough money, Dean would reach a level of desperation that forces him to sell himself.

→ The theory that John taught Dean how to dig himself out of a grave, due to how he was able to in Lazarus Rising (04x01)

→ The passage in John Winchester's published journal, detailing Dean's first solo case for two dead homosexual nuns and how it didn't go very well.

→ The alternate plotline that was almost canon, where John Winchester went missing because Dean had killed him.

→ When John got too pissed off at Dean, he'd send him away on hunts (14x12)

→ In early seasons, Jensen acted for Dean to sing badly. But in season 15, he sings well with Lee. Backstory? I think yes.

──────────────────

The double doors slammed open behind them, startling both boys. Dean whirled around in his seat to find Dad marching through, an angry look on his face. He was still scratched up from the recent hunt he'd done, claw marks scraped over his forehead, through his beard. He still hasn't shaved it, but Dean wanted him to. It was getting hard for him to look at. He never liked seeing his dad injured from a hunt, or injuring himself.

Six years, they had done this. Living on the road. Brief stays at Uncle Bobby’s. Living on diner food, vending machines, stolen credit cards; living in motel rooms, no home to their name.

Dean straightened up in the wooden chair. “Are we heading out?” he asked.

“You’re staying here.” Dad scooped up a duffel bag and was gone, the screen door rattling in the frame as he threw it shut behind him.

thinking about the moment bucky says “let’s hear it for captain america!” and he looks so damn proud and then his face drops so damn fast, because fuck, he doesn’t get to be selfish anymore. doesn’t get to keep steve’s irrevocable goodness all to himself. and he knew this day would come, but he’s furious because it took a goddamn serum for someone to give a shit enough to look. and he wants to burn the world down, because they don’t deserve steve even if they need him, but bucky’s goddamn selfish, because he’s known. he’s known just what steve rogers could do since the moment he fell for the back of his head at 7 years old.