What Isn't There To Love About The Idea Of MCU Bucky Becoming Captain America?

Ok so. "Why does this sound like a goodbye?" Was fucking heartbreaking, right; we have the full-on uninterrupted eye contact, the head tilt, Dean's already open mouth twitching before the scene cuts to Cas' "I love you," like he had more to say, but Cas beats him to the punch. It's great, we love that. But for the dialogue to be sequenced that way, and to have Dean reply with, "don't do this, Cas."

I'm only just realizing how fucking insane it was. And sure, I might just be coping here, at the end of the day who fucking knows, but look at it. Think about it. Now let yourself feel it all over again.

It's Dean's death knocking on the door behind Cas, and it's Cas' death emerging behind Dean. Like this, they're directly facing their own demise—but they're too stuck on each other, in their moment, to give a damn. And then Dean doesn't say, "I love you too." He says, "don't do this."

He isn't disgusted or ashamed or put off in the slightest by Cas' confession, because if he is then why is he on the verge of tears? In what world would it make sense for him to want to cry after his best friend confessed to him, if the confession was something he did not want. He says don't do this here, don't do this to me now.

Even if, and that's the most unlikely if to ever exist, Dean did not reciprocate Cas' feelings—don't do this is still so fucking powerful. Because Dean's connected the dots, happiness [...] is in just saying it, and Cas said it, so where does that lead Dean? That's right, with Cas dead again, trying to save him again.

Don't do this. Don't die for me, don't love me only to die for me, don't love me at all, just stay with me.

Don't let me watch you die again and not even let me follow you—because, at the very least, that was a consolation. She's gonna kill you, which Dean knows that Billie knows will hurt him more than his own death, and then she's gonna kill me.

"Don't do this," was actually so fucking powerful, I don't know how it slipped past me until now...

🌻 about me

av/cap, he/him

I'm an aspiring author and I use fanfic as exercises and to help with writer's block (: I have been writing for 10+ years, have led technical support groups for writers, won state competitions, and I also display original work at local art shows alongside my other traditional art.

I sometimes draw fanart, but I have an art business now so it's not super frequent.

@feathersatwar literally everywhere, even the accounts I no longer use.

archive of our own - all my big multichapter fics are available here

I may decide to use my instagram again, I'll link it if I do

🌒 what to expect?

marvel/mcu (mixing the mcu and comics are the best fanfic sweet spot) - stucky, winterwidow, etc

supernatural - destiel

the occasional percy jackson mood

epic the musical ✨

even though I don't write much outside of marvel and supernatural, I reblog stuff I like (:

I love writing anxiety, gore, romance, and action. What if universes are my playground.

I'm the captain of two trains:

→ captain barnes. I love the universe idea of if steve fell in the alps and bucky took up the shield to finish off the red skull.

→ jewish bucky. I'm jewish, sebastian stan is part jewish, bucky was likely from an immigrant family, and I tend to write bucky at varying degrees of faith/culture participation in different fics. If you have an issue with that, excuse yourself - this is a zero tolerance zone for bigotry of any kind.

THE MASTERLIST

not including old works on ao3, unless I have reposted them here

🪽 destiel

my destiel playlist | turning page

❄️ stucky

definitions of rage | ao3 dark!steve mini-fic

🌿 bucky barnes one shots

rely on time | bucky barnes drabble

40s captain barnes, a concept

🔴 misc marvel drabbles

soldier of the moon | moon knight character study

thinking about the moment bucky says “let’s hear it for captain america!” and he looks so damn proud and then his face drops so damn fast, because fuck, he doesn’t get to be selfish anymore. doesn’t get to keep steve’s irrevocable goodness all to himself. and he knew this day would come, but he’s furious because it took a goddamn serum for someone to give a shit enough to look. and he wants to burn the world down, because they don’t deserve steve even if they need him, but bucky’s goddamn selfish, because he’s known. he’s known just what steve rogers could do since the moment he fell for the back of his head at 7 years old.

chapter 2/8 now available on AO3

→ marvel (mcu/comic), captain america: the first avenger

→ bucky x steve, bucky x peggy

→ flawed super soldier serum, dark!steve rogers, mcu compliant with comic influences

→ gore, faked relationship, canon-typical violence

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He aimed and fired at the soldiers as he ducked behind the shelves at the side of the room, unfortunately cornered but thankful for a shield regardless. He was more than able to hold his own, and he was sure of that -

His fucking gun jammed.

“Stop him!”

He knew that voice.

The fear settled over him like a blanket. Every single worry he had for this mission, it layered in his head as Zola’s voice pinged around.

You'll fail your mission.

Zola will have you again - he'll - the new fist of Hydra -

He gasped, his breath shuddering in his lungs.

Steve will get out alive, no one else can stop him but you - ain't that a fucking tragedy -

Would he save you from Zola twice?

santa saw you reading all that gay porn

so… sam and dean use jewish words/phrases all the time & they have a relative named MOISHE from NEW YORK but im supposed to believe they aren’t jewish? hmm

fanfic writing culture isn’t “oh dang! I wanted to write about this prompt with this character but someone else already wrote it, so now I can’t”.

fanfic writing culture is always “two cakes is better than one. the more the merrier. there can ever be enough fics of this character with this prompt!”

steve not taking care of himself in ways that are basically self harm but no one knows because of his healing factor

he'll ignore wounds on purpose and that would get most people infected, but he heals faster than the baseline human and is immune to disease so no one bats an eye when he skips medical again

he drinks enough high proof liquor to give the baseline human alcohol poisoning ten times over but no one thinks he has a drinking problem because they think he can't get drunk, but it's not that he can't get drunk, his body just processes alcohol more efficiently

he's in the gym too much but everyone brushes it off because of course cap is a gym rat, he's an avenger so of course he has to train, he has to keep up with the job somehow, no he's not over-exerting himself, he'll be fine, he's a supersoldier.

chapter 5/8 now available on AO3 <3

→ marvel (mcu/comic), post-avengers 2012

→ bucky x steve, bucky x peggy

→ flawed super soldier serum, dark!steve rogers, mcu compliant with comic influences

→ gore, canon-typical violence, bucky makes friends in the 21st century

──────────────────

He eventually found himself in front of his own memorial wall. An entire wall, painted with collaged portraits of himself, even displaying a few pictures and a lit-up video, dedicated just to him. Best friends from childhood, Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers were inseparable on both schoolyard and battlefield - excelled as an athlete and in the classroom - became an officer straight out of Basic - isolation, deprivation, torture - Captain America’s best friend - Peggy Carter’s lost love - was given a version of the serum due to experimentation - kept his super soldier abilities a secret until the final battle, to take down the Red Skull once and for all - died tragically alongside his best friend as they saved New York City from Hydra’s bombs.

He stayed in front of that wall even longer to watch all the videos on loop. He and the Howlies from the reels that were recorded right after Azzano, displaying Captain America’s heroism before they went right back out to fight Hydra; an exhibition of his sharpshooting skills; a video of he and Steve, where Steve wasn't smiling but he was looking at him while he was awkwardly laughing, where he looked like himself -

“You alright, man?”

Bucky glanced to the side to find a man looking at him. His shoulders tightened when he realized he was being addressed - he was supposed to be dead, why did he come here -

“Hey - I'm sorry. You got that thousand yard stare. I counsel veterans down at the VA. I look at a face like that every day, I-I just -”

“It's okay,” he interrupted, speaking softly so his voice didn't sound like one in any recordings.

The man looked back up at the gigantic portrait looming in front of them. It was Bucky in the iconic blue coat, gun in hand as he stood in the snow. The corner of his mouth threatened to turn up, Bucky noticed the twitch, but the man pursed his lips to force it back down. “You bear a mighty resemblance. Must be related or something, right?”

JORGE IS THINKING ABOUT MAKING AN ILIAD MUSICAL IN THE FUTURE HELLOOOO??????

I need my Hector & Apollo songs please please please Jay I'm begging you please