I Now Know How To Describe My Dog When He Sprints Inside The House Because The Grass Is Wet And He Doesn’t

Me

I should clarify that it’s me because I see them everywhere and don’t have the slightest fucking clue what’s going on

pov you’re on tumblr for halloween:

Didn’t know this, but Tis important. Also, unrelated but if you’re on ssris and antidepressants, then you should avoid grapefruit too. Reacts with your meds and WILL destroy your liver

Spoopy Season Safety

This dude. Like yeah, I remember my shit most of the time, but I still forget. But you want an extension in advance for this assignment that you literally forgot existed because it’s online only and you can’t hold it in your hands? Nope. Sucks to suck I guess. You literally freeze up during tests due to anxiety? Sorry bud, can’t do nothing for ya.

"contract grading" "only 4 absences or you drop to an F" "in this class we will be teaching about disabilities. attendance is mandatory and i do not accept late work" "please respond to at least two of your peers in this discussion post" "people with autism need time to decompress in a classroom environment. your class is four hours long with a 7 minute break." "we like to let students learn the way THEY want to learn. please buy our 150 dollar textbook."

Update: I went too hard on my bullshit, arm is now in a sling.

Not me being back on my bullshit and writing more of werewolf Pheonix like the degenerate I am.

(I’m working on chapter nine my friends)

Yeah. Cuz it’s cannon.

THE TRIPS TO EUROPE TO SEE EDGEWORTH ARE ACTUALLY CANON????? I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST A RANDOM THING PEOPLE HEADCANONED

Don’t send this to miles you’ll kill him dead.

Phoenix with his hair down.. he looks unrecognizable it's pretty scary I know 😔😞

Okay dump time:

So obviously, as in my previous post miles is an Oread and Phoenix is a fire spirit/elemental. Here’s what I would assign the rest of the cast:

The fey family: quite conflicted here, I don’t think their speciation is all the same because you know, different fathers n stuff. But the bottom line is: if they could channel in the games, or were actively a part of the clan, they are at least part witch/magic users. They occupy a role as heralds and enforcers between the spirits of the dead and the living. I decided that in this AU;

-Mia and Maya are half-elves because of course.

-I think Pearl is half nereid, because to me that makes sense for her.

-Dahlia and Iris were half-kitsunes, both with very different outlooks on life and definitions of “mischief”. Iris’ magic wasn’t nearly as strong as Dalia’s though.

-Morgan and Misty were regular human magic users. (The fey clan only recently started to approve of interspecies marriages as human population in their village was steadily declining)

The Fey clan was frequently sought out to treat magic-related ailments until recent modern medicine came about.

Everyone else:

-Gumshoe is absolutely a werewolf. He big. He clumsy. He goofy. He an awkward big dog man.

- Larry, because he’s always chasing after a pretty face, is a satyr.

-Kay: She is so a Fae. The fae mischief energy is strong with this one.

-the Von Karmas: they’re both demons, but demons of different cardinal sins. Manfred was a demon of pride, Franziska is a demon of wrath. Miles doesn’t care for his title as demon prosecutor because a: the press just assumed he was a demon by association and while he likes to feel connected to the Von karmas early in his career, he feels like he’s also lost that connection to his dad. That makes him feel guilty. Because B: when Franziska comes on to the legal scene it just makes shit confusing. What would they call them both? “The demon prosecutor” and “the ACTUAL demon prosecutor”? Moreover, when people found out she used a whip and immediately started calling her a “succubus dominatrix” (considered insulting to female demons who aren’t actually succubi) in the news? Miles bout near lost his shit that’s his little sister bro. Also being a demon doesn’t make someone inherently evil, and the press demonized Miles through that nickname. Imagine. You’re hated and called mean things for something you’re literally not. This is why Miles prefers his more “standard” form these days. He looks less like a weird demon and more like an oread, which he is.

-Trucy and Apollo: Aurorae, or wind nymphs. They take after their mom in that regard. Wind nymphs can fly and turn themselves into wind and reappear elsewhere. They’re extremely light beings. They do have wings to reflect birds and other sky dwelling creatures. Apollo I chose to be one because of the myth of Echo, I just imagine he’s like the wind of a hurricane, just so fucking loud and forceful without realizing it. Trucy more because her ability to disappear and reappear makes her excellent at magic tricks and deception. Also they’re hypersensitive to air movements and slight electrical charges, which is how perceive works for them.

-Athena: I wanted to make her a Raiju at first (lighting yokai) but those usually take the forms of dogs, so I figure maybe she’s a venti (Roman storm spirit). She’s sensitive to electrical fields, even more so than Apollo and Trucy, and as a result can not only hear peoples emotions with a heightened sense of hearing (she hears the charge and nature of the electrical fields) , she can sense them quite accurately too. Venti in some myths can take the shape of horses or storm clouds, but I think she’s just very electrically charged, and can summon or control small storms or electricity. (On top of the aforementioned powers). She’s also quite loud too, but not as consistently loud as Apollo is.

-Blackquill: this motherfucker is an Oni. What else do you want from me? He acts like a samurai haunted by some terrible misdeeds even after he’s proven innocent. He’s an Oni. 100% an Oni.

-Maggie Byrde: she’s a harpy. She has the lower half of a bird and wings. She’s a very clumsy flier.

-Will powers: Giant/jotunn. He’s a big lad. Gentle giant, anyone?

-Dee Vasquez: oh she’s SO a Gorgon. The headscarf thing? The femme fatale allure? Dark and mysterious? Gorgon. Absolutely a gorgon. She’d rock a pair of black aviators too.

-Lana and Emma skye: sphinxes. Lana being the kind to dish out riddles and justice, Emma being a bubbly cub until later when she becomes bitter and sardonic.

-The Judge: he’s a centaur. An old ass centaur. Some of them are supposedly wise, he’s just bad at his job.

-The Gavin brothers: Sirens. They have gills, claws, webbed hands, scales, etc. they also can shift into an aquatic form with a tail, and have alluring voices they can use for charm magic. Klavier uses his for musical talent, Kristoph uses his for manipulation. (So surprising, that.)

-Sebby: he’s a water elemental. He’s so turbulent, it reminds me of swirling water. He’s made of water, can control water, has an elemental core like Phoenix does, and hydration is extremely important for him or he will dry out and that’s no bueno. Overheating is also a serious problem because he could boil himself alive, or freeze himself solid if he’s too upset. His dad hates him for his delicate chemistry. (I still want to ring Blaise’s neck, can’t you tell?)

-Damon Gant and Tigre furrio are both malicious imps.

-Cody hackins is a kappa (mischievous Japanese water spirit with a turtle shell).

-Matt engarde is so a bitchy asshole vampire. Get staked through the heart, loser.

I’ll probably add more as I think of them.

But this is what I’ve got for now!

(Sorry this took so damn long, I fell asleep the first round of writing and then of course got busy with other things in between.)

Gimme fantasy au info in exchange for my fantasy/siren au infodump

FUCK YEAH SAY LESS

For the person who’s never seen mistletoe irl before, here you are

@thegoldenpuppet

Gentle reminder to not do shit while bereaved, I just burnt the shit outta my hand because I was crying to hard to pay attention to which hand was grabbing something out of the oven.

…. I’m pretty sure this never went away as a concept my friend.

I say this from the wealth of pop songs on heartache and such.

Also because I am one of many young people who have an Ex that they would gladly welcome back if things would work out for us that way. What are you supposed to do when the one person you fall in love with realizes they’re Aro and can’t love you in return the way you need to be loved? I didn’t stop loving them. Doubt I ever will. But they can’t love me the way I love them. I’m ok with that. I can love them from afar, because to see their happiness for me is enough. To know that they are well is enough of a balm on my wounded heart to try again with someone else, even if a part of my heart will always have belonged to them.

I will say though, there’s a terrifying influx of people who don’t know how to be content with not having what they want, especially young men of the Andrew Tate listening variety. And I think that is perhaps one of the many off shooting roots of this problem connected to a much larger one at the center.

I think it would do good to modern teenagers to be re-introduced to the idea of unrequited love. Like yes, you're wildly in love with this person who doesn't like you, or if you already bungled it, might actually be actively repulsed by you since you unintentionally creeped them out. And it's painful and tragic and it hurts. That happens sometimes. So what can you do? Honestly nothing, other than to mope about it and suffer through it like it's a long, hard bout of illness that takes months or even years to recover from.

And I think kids should be taught that this isn't just fine and normal, but that you totally can - and actually should - romanticise it. Because since there's nothing else you can do about that sort of thing, you might as well have fun having it. You do get to be the the Tragic Suffering Protagonist about it. It's a beautiful, keen and unique sort of pain that is your own personal tragedy and 100% a you problem.

The idea that the only acceptable outcome of falling in love with someone is a relationship with the object of that desire is genuinely dangerous. The idea that the only way to a happily ever after is to "win them over", get out of the friend zone, finally do some feat that'll impress them or prove your worth and finally get the girl. That's not how it works, that's not how any of this works.

Moping isn't inherently bad for you. Okay of course it's possible to spend too much time wallowing in self-pity, but it's good for you to indulge in it as needed. The difference between poison and medicine is dosage, and everyone is allowed to have a little bit of small personal tragedy sometimes, as a treat. You have to do it sometimes just to get it out of your system, be sad about something for long enough to simply get bored of that, and go do something else.

And not to get "A spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down" stuck in your head, but sometimes that's the key to it. If the only way to go through something is to suffer through it, might as well make it sweet. Sometimes you just gotta be like "I love her and her happiness means more to me than my own, and she does not want me, so therefore I must do this Noble Sacrifice and suffer in silence and simply let her be happy without me" for like six months or a year until you're done being like that and over with it.

I don't know who the fuck thought it was a good idea to instead teach kids that the only acceptable thing to do is to keep bothering the person you like until they give in in and let you out of the ~friend zone~ and you win. That's just not healthy or helpful for anyone involved.