Don’t Send This To Miles You’ll Kill Him Dead.

My dear, most of the fandom draws it whichever way they like.

You’re doing great sweetie it looks like Pheonix therefore it IS Pheonix. It’s perfect.

That one meme

Guys I don't know how to draw phoenix wright's hair forgive me. I'm on the brink of TEARS

“This is an intervention.”

“bro please don’t play this game”

Okay dump time:

So obviously, as in my previous post miles is an Oread and Phoenix is a fire spirit/elemental. Here’s what I would assign the rest of the cast:

The fey family: quite conflicted here, I don’t think their speciation is all the same because you know, different fathers n stuff. But the bottom line is: if they could channel in the games, or were actively a part of the clan, they are at least part witch/magic users. They occupy a role as heralds and enforcers between the spirits of the dead and the living. I decided that in this AU;

-Mia and Maya are half-elves because of course.

-I think Pearl is half nereid, because to me that makes sense for her.

-Dahlia and Iris were half-kitsunes, both with very different outlooks on life and definitions of “mischief”. Iris’ magic wasn’t nearly as strong as Dalia’s though.

-Morgan and Misty were regular human magic users. (The fey clan only recently started to approve of interspecies marriages as human population in their village was steadily declining)

The Fey clan was frequently sought out to treat magic-related ailments until recent modern medicine came about.

Everyone else:

-Gumshoe is absolutely a werewolf. He big. He clumsy. He goofy. He an awkward big dog man.

- Larry, because he’s always chasing after a pretty face, is a satyr.

-Kay: She is so a Fae. The fae mischief energy is strong with this one.

-the Von Karmas: they’re both demons, but demons of different cardinal sins. Manfred was a demon of pride, Franziska is a demon of wrath. Miles doesn’t care for his title as demon prosecutor because a: the press just assumed he was a demon by association and while he likes to feel connected to the Von karmas early in his career, he feels like he’s also lost that connection to his dad. That makes him feel guilty. Because B: when Franziska comes on to the legal scene it just makes shit confusing. What would they call them both? “The demon prosecutor” and “the ACTUAL demon prosecutor”? Moreover, when people found out she used a whip and immediately started calling her a “succubus dominatrix” (considered insulting to female demons who aren’t actually succubi) in the news? Miles bout near lost his shit that’s his little sister bro. Also being a demon doesn’t make someone inherently evil, and the press demonized Miles through that nickname. Imagine. You’re hated and called mean things for something you’re literally not. This is why Miles prefers his more “standard” form these days. He looks less like a weird demon and more like an oread, which he is.

-Trucy and Apollo: Aurorae, or wind nymphs. They take after their mom in that regard. Wind nymphs can fly and turn themselves into wind and reappear elsewhere. They’re extremely light beings. They do have wings to reflect birds and other sky dwelling creatures. Apollo I chose to be one because of the myth of Echo, I just imagine he’s like the wind of a hurricane, just so fucking loud and forceful without realizing it. Trucy more because her ability to disappear and reappear makes her excellent at magic tricks and deception. Also they’re hypersensitive to air movements and slight electrical charges, which is how perceive works for them.

-Athena: I wanted to make her a Raiju at first (lighting yokai) but those usually take the forms of dogs, so I figure maybe she’s a venti (Roman storm spirit). She’s sensitive to electrical fields, even more so than Apollo and Trucy, and as a result can not only hear peoples emotions with a heightened sense of hearing (she hears the charge and nature of the electrical fields) , she can sense them quite accurately too. Venti in some myths can take the shape of horses or storm clouds, but I think she’s just very electrically charged, and can summon or control small storms or electricity. (On top of the aforementioned powers). She’s also quite loud too, but not as consistently loud as Apollo is.

-Blackquill: this motherfucker is an Oni. What else do you want from me? He acts like a samurai haunted by some terrible misdeeds even after he’s proven innocent. He’s an Oni. 100% an Oni.

-Maggie Byrde: she’s a harpy. She has the lower half of a bird and wings. She’s a very clumsy flier.

-Will powers: Giant/jotunn. He’s a big lad. Gentle giant, anyone?

-Dee Vasquez: oh she’s SO a Gorgon. The headscarf thing? The femme fatale allure? Dark and mysterious? Gorgon. Absolutely a gorgon. She’d rock a pair of black aviators too.

-Lana and Emma skye: sphinxes. Lana being the kind to dish out riddles and justice, Emma being a bubbly cub until later when she becomes bitter and sardonic.

-The Judge: he’s a centaur. An old ass centaur. Some of them are supposedly wise, he’s just bad at his job.

-The Gavin brothers: Sirens. They have gills, claws, webbed hands, scales, etc. they also can shift into an aquatic form with a tail, and have alluring voices they can use for charm magic. Klavier uses his for musical talent, Kristoph uses his for manipulation. (So surprising, that.)

-Sebby: he’s a water elemental. He’s so turbulent, it reminds me of swirling water. He’s made of water, can control water, has an elemental core like Phoenix does, and hydration is extremely important for him or he will dry out and that’s no bueno. Overheating is also a serious problem because he could boil himself alive, or freeze himself solid if he’s too upset. His dad hates him for his delicate chemistry. (I still want to ring Blaise’s neck, can’t you tell?)

-Damon Gant and Tigre furrio are both malicious imps.

-Cody hackins is a kappa (mischievous Japanese water spirit with a turtle shell).

-Matt engarde is so a bitchy asshole vampire. Get staked through the heart, loser.

I’ll probably add more as I think of them.

But this is what I’ve got for now!

(Sorry this took so damn long, I fell asleep the first round of writing and then of course got busy with other things in between.)

Gimme fantasy au info in exchange for my fantasy/siren au infodump

FUCK YEAH SAY LESS

ALSO,

It my birfday :)

Happy new year to yall out there who celebrate! Be safe. Too many drunk accidents happen when people celebrate today.

Okay, as an American studying to become a botanist I’m about to fire shots in every direction. None of you are safe, not even myself, but there are things about this post that have pissed me off to the point of righteous anger.

American chestnut is functionally extinct yes, except for a few remaining colonies, however, that’s not because of most Americans, just as you, previous person, said your issues are not because of most of the British- as Americans relied on chestnuts as a cultural symbol and a food source as they taste arguably better (or so I’m told) than the European chestnuts that were exported to us carrying chestnut blight that killed our chestnuts. Those same stumps ARE STILL TRYING TO SEND OUT SUCKERS, and are STILL DYING BECAUSE OF AN INTRODUCED BLIGHT BY EUROPEAN NEGLIGENCE.

I understand you’re mad at the lack of education on our side, I am as well- the American education system FAILS at teaching botany on a MULTITUDE of ENORMOUS levels, and you and I both know that plant life is the basis of an ecosystem, but don’t you dare think that this means I’m not infuriated by the same from you- I am. I KNOW FOR A FACT that Europe is no better in its failure to find value in botanical studies, and I’m still pissed about it, but I’ve at least seen a few papers about the subject and written a few essays myself, and at least Europe isn’t the near-dead-static radio silence about botany the way America seems to be. But at least know that this is a two way street, and don’t deflect about that shortcoming when we’re both at fault.

The prairies??? That was misguided science and capitalism instilling laziness. We had rules and laws about rewilding areas post mining expeditions and construction, but those were ignored by greedy corps who figured slapping some trees on an area that didn’t have trees before would solve their problem. And the people in charge weren’t ecologists, but government officials who heard in school that trees give us oxygen and are therefore better than grass, and so with being slid a little extra cash, shrugged their shoulders about it and turned a blind eye to the issue because “well it’s just trees” and BOY, AM I MAD ABOUT THAT TOO, but being MAD, and BEING ABLE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT are two very different ball parks, babe.

Then there was climate crisis attention in the nineties, and although the intentions of the campaigns were pure-hearted, they were misleading in the idea that planting trees Willy-nilly would solve our problems, and while yes, trees are larger organisms that need more co2 to grow to max size, and therefore absorb more carbon, not all trees are created equal, and while some non-natives might absorb more CO2 or do better in certain regions, more of the people supplying and planting those invasive trees have no ability, much less a concept of even recognizing the potential for something to become invasive. Another failure of our shitty education system, but we already know it’s shit, so that’s besides the point.

The grasses and monocultures of lawns we have are a direct spawn of English colonialism. Lawns were managed by slaves and considered a sign of wealth- and non-natural ornamental landscapes were seen as a sign of knowledge and skill to tend.

American pioneers and natives didn’t give two shits about those things, and though we aren’t blameless for the slew of invasive ravaging our ecosystems, Britain is no saint in this either. Y’all have a government that fears and respects Its people and their voices; do not squander your opportunity, when here in America, trying to get through to a politician bought out by lobbyists to get off their asses and do something is clearly MUCH HARDER than you all seem to think it is because capitalism is unchecked over here.

You have the science. You have the opportunity. Fight the status quo and take a risk while you have a chance to. Right your wrongs. There’s no excuse to not. At least we make an effort and fight, even though every step forward feels like a step backwards because politicians and public figures here usually have their pockets and offices lined so thick with wads of cash they can’t seem to hear us screaming in the streets. So many organizations out here are all desperately scrounging for donations and support individually to step up where our governing bodies ran like cowardly father figures going out for milk and cigarettes and then simply ignoring the issues we’ve being screeching about like it’s not something young people are mad about on the daily. Also, you lost lynxes??? Reintroduce them. Yes you’re on an island, that doesn’t stop animals, and it hasn’t before. They will adapt so long as you let them. You can fix the damage that’s been done, all it takes is effort and time, and a willingness to take a chance to make a change.

Moreover. You ALSO EAT THOSE STOLEN CROPS.

TOMATOES. CORN. SQUASH. BEANS. TOMATILLOS.

YOU EAT THOSE TOO!

And what about the Cinnamon? The Mace? The nutmeg? The British stole those from the people of India. The tea you’ve monopolized as your own? That’s from China and Japan. You don’t even drink it right. You’re suppose to pour out the first steep according to Chinese tea practices. And they sold it for far cheaper to the British at the time. The wheat? Grains? Ethiopia, that’s from the Fertile Crescent. Your very bread is made of a stolen crop.

Your fruits? All of it, stolen. The Mediterranean originally grew mint, oregano, rosemary, olives, and cabbage.

Do you indulge in chocolate? That was stolen by your Spanish neighbors from the Aztecs and Mayans darling. Chewing gum too.

We didn’t even steal half the crops we grow, imperialism did, so don’t even start there. Many of the natives crops are viable solutions to local food, but guess what? WE DONT FREAKING USE THEM!

You wanna get mad at us for something? Get mad that we don’t use acorn and coontie flour instead of wheat. Get mad that we don’t use elderberries and American cherries in jams as much as we should. Get mad that we haven’t cultivated the pawpaw or Florida plum as much as we should. Get mad that we don’t use sumac, or Kentucky coffee. Get mad that blueberries and cranberries aren’t a main staple in our diets, and because of capitalism-caused food deserts and absurd prices. Get mad that we don’t eat local meats, but farm instead of forage when there’s so much we could be eating to cut back on our waste, but we don’t because humans are prissy and don’t want to put the effort into making things taste good by selective breeding like we did when we were nomadic and still figuring out agriculture. Get mad that we could be eating our way through our kudzu problem in the south, but we aren’t because it’s just not something we do culturally.

Get mad about the things we can be faulted for, because at least we can actually try and control those.

The moral of the story here is we should be fucking mad at the GREED OF THE FEW. At the end of the day, that’s what’s caused us the most problems isn’t it? Instead we sit here and we bicker about who’s worse, instead of making each other better. Like you said, let’s not throw stones at each other from our stupid glass houses, and burn down the people who are actually responsible and have the means to do something but instead choose to do nothing.

Actually your society is the freaks for shooting everything that moves and burning half your "nature reserves" every year so that upperclass dandies can eat leaded pheasant. North Americans are the well adjusted ones here, your country has become a desolate suburban lawn in island form

Cackling over the fact that they’re fucking fighting over a species of horsetails, this is literally every botanist ever lmfao

i love it when botanists fight in the annotations

guy in 1939, taking his time to line up his typewriter to painstakingly write the family name: its equisetum hyemale!

guy in 1948 scribbling on a slip of paper: no dumbass its equisetum prealtium

guy in 2020 on a sticky note: hey fuckass! its equisetum hyemale, are you smoking crack? are you on fucking crack? update annotation.

Imagine you’re out here hosting an orgy and then suddenly this little creature comes along and bites your dicks off and walks away covered in the remnants of your flesh.

Like bro. It’s beautiful, but that is essentially what’s happening here

Here’s a thought.

What if ao3 did that thing where you could put white text in. Yknow. To fuck with scrapers? I know that isn’t much but mannnn would it be funny to write some absolute gibberish in the margins and literally poison their data instead of making fics inaccessible to people who want to view them privately as guests, or who can’t make an account.

You wanna steal the way I write? Ok. Here’s some absolute hogwash to for you to enjoy! Or maybe we just start posting pictures of the fic content on the archive from whatever writing platform you use. Maybe fuck with art-generating ai while we’re at it.

Imagine. You ask for it to generate a picture of text on a page and it spits out an image of an open book with the most filthy nonsensical BDSM fic’s text written on the pages.

Or we could write absolute nonsense fics out of spite to fuck up their data even more. How’d you’d like that, you data-hoarding cretins? Wanna steal my fic data? You’ll have to pick out which ones are worth it. And there are millions :).

Edit:

Also, bold of these fuckers to assume that a machine can think up anything insaner than a human can. And to somehow do it better. Like, bitch please. Humans have been writing stories and porn and fanfic for like, ever. It’s literally our thing. You’re gonna have to keep pace with us, rust bucket.

For me there’s a few, I know this is not my ask but when you have hyperphantasia it makes this stuff easier, so you be the judge op:

Still into you- by paramore

I’ll fight- Daughtry

Sweet Dream- Bohnes

Vicious- Bohnes (Es picanté)

Gravity- against the current

Holy smokes - Bohnes (definitely in reference to dad bod beanix, from mile’s perspective)

Numbers- the cab

There’s one song that doesn’t quite fit theme wise but the name sounds like a pick up like Pheonix would TOTALLY use on miles. If you don’t already know it, it’s “I’m like a lawyer with the way I’m always trying to get you off” by fallout boy.

Do what you will with this information💜

ahhaha would you believe me if i said im not creative enough for smth like this? my music tastes aren’t varied enough to make any calls… but! recently i listened to the simple things by michael carreon and imagined nrmt that just got together :^)))

We gonna help one of my fav fandom artists or what?

Ok people... so I went to turn my tablet on and... it doesn't.

So I would be very grateful if you shared this post... unfortunately I'm tight on money since most of it has been going to meds, since what I've been diagnosed is so bad I can't function at all otherwise.

Ko-fi

Support periwinkla

Support periwinkla