Walking About In Nature Really Helps Relax My Mind. This Trail In Particular Felt So Beautiful, The Rustling

I've been feeling incredibly homesick for the past three weeks. Maybe it's the ten-hour school days, the unfamiliarity of turning 18, or the gloom of a snowless winter-- there's no telling.

Food doesn't taste good anymore, every room is too silent or too loud, and even waking up feeling rested seems like a distant memory.

I miss the french toast from the bakery I grew up in. I miss my mom's food. I miss my dog. I miss my boyfriend.

Why does it all feel so distant even though it's just an hour away?

lol I really thought I was going to get in trouble with my parents for a bit but it was just turned into a life lesson jesus chris t that was a trip 

i am done with life for a little bit thank you very much please let me live out the rest of this week with nothing but hugs and cuddles it’s what I really need thank you

-Caramel

Challenging anyone who can draw to draw these hand poses

Distraction from progress

I've been having some time off from my spring cleaning and "new life" due to some family issues. Sucks, since all I want to do is feel that fresh and giddy happiness I get when I realize I'm so close. I'm not going to talk about what has been happening specifically, but I do need to spend a lot of time with my family.

Will this be how all distractions feel in my new life? All dragging and somehow hopeless for me? Who knows- all I can do is hope that this doesn't last long. I've got plans with friends tomorrow and the day after, though- so I guess I'll need to fit more of my new life into that.

Just trying to feel better right now, not doing too well though :/

<3 Caramel

Build me up

Another one of my packages arrived today! There’s just a few more that I’m waiting for. Though it didn’t make me feel the motivation and determination for my new life that I had earlier, it felt wonderful to dress up and look nice. :)

I walked up to a hill with some friends today and watched the sunset- average teenage things, yes, but it was pretty to see the lit city skylines and the stars hanging up in the sky.

I feel like I’ve kind of lost my energy for my new life, but that doesn’t mean I can't still make it to the finish line- I’m still willing to put in all the effort I need. By the weekend, I should be able to move in a desk and mirror into my room!

Going to visit my tài pó on Sunday, I’ll figure out what flowers to bring by then. For now, though- I should definitely sleep. Sorry for the poorly written post, I’m exhausted.

<3 Caramel

oof

I suppose I’ve just had the most unproductive weekend I’ve ever experienced. AP exams are closing in as well. A ton of schoolwork to do while the year closes in, a dying personal life, not mentioning the fact that I’m probably in trouble when it comes to extracurriculars. Missed some important harp stuff, so I’ll need to talk to my teacher about that.

Spilled my guts out to a friend over the past two days with little to no reaction, too, so I guess there’s that wonderful thing too. :/

Whenever I think it’s not possible to fall lower than this I end up surprising myself. Guess I should really just suck it up though. All this depressing stuff has been ruining my life and future, and I’ve done nothing to stop it.

Can’t really feel bad for myself anymore. This sucks. Maybe I am depressed, but I guess that’d be searching for excuses to inexcusable behavior. I should stop lying.

Whatever happened to determination?

Chocolate ganache cake + matcha latte

Though I don't like the sun, I miss when the days were warmer

Good luck on ur examn !! 🙏

Thank you!!! Once this is all over, I can finally hole up in my room and play games forever...

Any recommendations on fun hobbies/things to do during the break? I want to start filling out my days so they don't blend together as much... (ŏ⁠﹏⁠ŏ｡⁠;) Hopefully...

I took a photo of my dog today and spent the rest of the night distracted from my work (⁠ ⁠；⁠∀⁠；⁠)