Art Fight Time!

My biggest tip for fanfic writers is this: if you get a character's mannerisms and speech pattern down, you can make them do pretty much whatever you want and it'll feel in character.

Logic: Characters, just like real people, are mallable. There is typically very little that's so truly, heinously out of character that you absolutely cannot make it work under any circumstance. In addition, most fans are also willing to accept characterization stretches if it makes the fic work. Yeah, we all know the villain and the hero wouldn't cuddle for warmth in canon. But if they did do that, how would they do it?

What counts is often not so much 'would the character do this?' and more 'if the character did do this, how would they do it?' If you get 'how' part right, your readers will probably be willing to buy the rest, because it will still feel like their favourite character. But if it doesn't feel like the character anymore, why are they even reading the fic?

Worry less about whether a character would do something, and more about how they'd sound while doing it.

I was naive to think this site would be more sensible to Mahmoud's situation. This is just like on twitter where people share his posts but nothing else is done.

Only 3.2k left on his campaign yet it feels like he'll reach it in an eternity if ever. He only received €16 today. Very fun fact : if it keeps going at this rate (which is already wishful thinking) then he'll reach his goal in 200 days :)) !! I don't think displaying his suffering and photos of all the people he lost on here would do anything to help. I'll only ask you to donate if you want to help a young palestinian taking care of his family. And if possible share his campaign as widely as you can and to not forget him please.

You can donate here.

Vetted by @gazafunds

I'll keep on adding update to this post to keep track of the progress of his campaign.

🚨🛑Stop for a moment and don't skip it !!

My name is Tahrir, from Gaza, A mother of four children, I have been suffering from war for more than nine months

My little boy, Amir, suffered a fracture in the pelvic area

My children are young and need care and attention, and unfortunately, with the current situation, I cannot provide for their needs

I hope you will help me provide for the needs of my young children by publishing my page and donating via the link

Thank you with all my heart

gofundme.com

Donate to Help Doaa's Family Escape to Safety, organized by Raina Carter

Hi, my name is Raina Carter and I live in Portland, Oregon. I am raising critical fun… Raina Carter needs your support for Help Doaa's Famil

Here's a website where Palestine GoFundMes are vetted and shared that you can send out to people. The url is gazafunds.com

Easy to use and simple. Just share the site whenever someone asks for GFMs for Palestine.

Nowhere, Black Sorrow and an interpretation of Ivan's love

Gonna talk a bit about Ivan's emotional state in Nowhere and how it… is mostly right there in Black Sorrow too, just in a slightly more matured manner. I've got some similarities and differences I wanna highlight!

(It'd be good to read my lil initial impressions on the release of Nowhere first, tho!)

Firstly, the key thing about interpreting the content of Nowhere is that it's a private song. Written for Ivan himself, composed with no outside input, never meant for public performance. Therefore, in it, we can trust that Ivan is expressing himself as freely as he can (through the lens of his stunted emotional development yet strong ability to look inward and rationalize, but still), which is a very rare occurrence, given that one of his biggest traits is being private and cagey. The song Nowhere is raw emotion for a change, an open display of his head and heart.

And it sounds like just that. We hear the result of Ivan trying a romantic, ballad-like love song, starting with that and presumably just scrapping it for the subsequent melodic, hopeless freestyle rap session about his loneliness, pain, sense of being fundamentally unlovable/unwanted, belief that his existence is devoid of value and his pessimism.

But the love he knows he feels for Till IS there, fantastically represented by the ballad-like part that stays in the background for the rest of Nowhere. And it's recognized for what it is. 

… which is a big deal in itself!! Ivan talks down on his capacity for love a lot and would later call it a "shallow emotion", but he's way too analytical and knows himself too well to be avoiding that love is what it is. He damn well knows he's in love. And this song, the earliest song in his musical timeline, is pretty much the only place he says it out loud. 

Followed, of course, by all those verses about his meaningless and inconsequential life, being overwhelmed yet persisting calmly/numbly, the light he can't look at and dreams/hopes that are unreachable from the beginning because everything (and himself) is stained. And yet, the recognition of his emotions stays running in the background; to be literal about it, his feeling of love stays present and sung no matter how deep he dives into his bleak outlook. Constant, steady, never drowned out. Two things that are truths to Ivan. It feels to me like precisely the two factors that govern his inner emotional life: the belief that he's not built for it and the knowledge that he loves, regardless.

And "this always happens to me" is the sentiment that results from all that, taking the spotlight as the general mood and baseline of Nowhere. 

His belief that that the boy he was in the slums - a human who didn't feel like he belonged anywhere, neither an equal existence in relation to the segyein nor feeling part of humanity, a type of existence that's stained and rejected - is the same person he is in Anakt Garden and the ame persona he will continue to be. Of course, that applies to his love too. Not gonna work out because that's just how it is for someone like him, another piece of the "this always happens to me", destined to be unwanted. 

(We've gotta remember that Nowhere was written at the time he was living in Anakt Garden [source: official post], the time where he developed his feelings for Till and tried to be close to him in ways that neither Till nor Ivan himself could understand properly - so, is it surprising at all that he'd continue to feel mismatched with other humans, stained, wrong and hopeless? My personal belief here is that what he experiences with Till echoes with what he experienced in the slums, all contributing to sustain his view and thoughts about himself as an individual. It's all the same. Again: this always happens to him.)

Now here's the thing: that defeatist attitude about loving Till is honestly the same one he carries over to Black Sorrow and is guided by throughout all of the main Alien Stage storyline.

Another thing that's very important to remember in regards to THAT is that Ivan never told Till how he felt in any type of way, he also didn't intend to show it or let it be known in way Till could interpret, understand and give an answer to [source: Vivimeng Q&A at the 2024 GAF event of which we only have attendee records]. He mostly fought, made up, played and spent time with Till. The most straightforward example of "acting upon his feelings" we could refer to is when he asked Till if he wanted to kiss [source: official comic], which was absolutely not framed as a confession of romantic inclinations, but just as "something some kids in Anakt are doing". It was neither expressed nor understood for its true human meaning. Ivan never says anything because he has simply assumed that he's unlovable, considers himself rejected by default (he's aware Till likes Mizi, but it's been made clear that this is mostly irrelevant to him, Till could love anybody or no one at all and he'd still have his pessimistic outlook because he considers himself the problem [source: GAF event Q&A again]) and leaves it at that. Around the segyein, he even goes out of his way to protect either Till, the privacy of his own feelings or the nature of love (as one of the few freedoms pet-humans have) by giving the impression that they're not that close and Till is not that important to him [source: Ivan interview from the Alien Stage Patreon, specifically these bits].

With that said, let's recall Black Sorrow.

It's inevitably different because it's not the raw and fully honest Ivan, but a song meant for performing, for an audience and for the competition. Still, it's his character introduction song and it's the one that tells us his viewpoint on Till. And in it, his definition of love is already, well, that it's "his black sorrow". A feeling surrounded by darkness, love for someone unreachable, the knowledge that it ends in a "cold spot stained with blood", not meant to work out for him in any way. Just as he thought at the time of Nowhere. 

Because that always happens to him. He thinks that way in Black Sorrow, he thought that way in Nowhere, he still thinks that way in Cure.

But there's one thing that's extremely different between Black Sorrow and Nowhere! And I think it's an important aspect of Ivan that the new song and the new opportunity for character analysis allow us to bring forward.

It's in this little moment, the prelude to the climax of Black Sorrow:

When the first point tally is coming, no matter when you pause the video, Ivan's points are gonna be the same as Marty's. Unlike in Blink Gone, with Luka shown to be leading and Till falling in second place, Ivan and Marty don't know how it's going. But they'll get their final count soon, so this is the point where things need to get real serious. And it's the point when – as he watches the set's falling stars – Ivan dives into his most painful but also very important memory with Till. Through which we reach the song's climax, his performance turns much more emotional and he ultimately crushes Marty's score by a great margin.

What I'm trying to say is: in Black Sorrow, Ivan is in a very similar place as he was in Nowhere, in regards to his emotions and his love. We can assume he's more accustomed to it. But most of all, he's purposefully tapping into his feelings (both his love and his pain), drawing strength from them to deliver a winning performance. It's like opening his chest up and reaching into his heart, yes, but it's also done in a very controlled manner, because as soon as he's able, Ivan composes himself. When he finishes performing, he's his usual calm self again. 

(Writing this I realize I'll need another post to dive deeper into Black Sorrow alone to cover some more points that are unique to the song, so I'll leave that for later.)

And that's the aspect of his character that I think is so important to highlight, the fact that he just… know himself so well. And how, despite viewing himself negatively in some ways, he also greatly accepts himself.

Nowhere is a very downbeat song, of course we're all face down in puddles of tears for Ivan, but him? I think it'd be… in a way, misjudging and underestimating him to settle on a very depressive or fully self-loathing view of him. Because he's pessimistic, but in a rational, "that's exactly how things are" kinda way. He looks down on what he considers his bad sides, but also keeps them close and doesn't hesitate to use all of his skills and traits. He's hurting, but he remains collected and undefeated by his various pains. He's emotionally vulnerable but also SO full of sentiment, determined, clever, capable of great acts of gentleness and dedicated as few will ever be. 

And, when it comes to his love for Till, his belief that it's doomed to be unrequited doesn't stop him from continuing to feel that way, continuing to look after Till, drawing strength from his love when needed and ultimately do what must be done to push for Till's victory in Cure.

That's all for now! Please remember that these are only my views and that for this piece I focused on interpreting Ivan's love in particular in the context of Nowhere tied to Black Sorrow, so other themes are not as covered (not because they're not important in Nowhere or his whole character, of course) and even most of the nature of that same love is also not covered. I'll continue to write more analysis posts if possible.

I hope it's been an interesting read!

my thoughts on itoshi rin and how his relationship with his brother has affected the way he has played football throughout the manga

to me it feels quite obvious that rin still cares about sae quite a bit. quite literally almost all of rin’s football career has been built around his brother, from the beginning of it to the u-20 match.

in the beginning, it started with rin thinking that sae looked cool and wanting to watch with his big brother play. then people realized he was actually pretty good at football himself, so he decided to start playing with sae because, “why wouldn’t playing football with your brother be fun?” this is when football was fun, it was mostly just hanging out with his big brother and eating ice cream together. we also don’t really know much about this time in rin’s life other than a few manga panels, so i don’t have much to say other than this is when got into football and he enjoyed it. i do feel like at first he mostly enjoyed it because he was playing with sae.

then, sae goes to spain, and this is when we first start to see changes in rin’s football. it’s in this stage that rin’s football both becomes about getting better and is when he first starts to enjoy it without sae. it becomes about getting good enough so that he can still walk with sae on the path to becoming the two best strikers in the world. it’s still enjoyable, but it’s mostly fun because he knows that sae is going to come back and they’re going to be great together. sae’s going to come back and they’ll both have gotten better and football will be even more enjoyable.

then sae actually comes back, and it’s apparent that all is not well. their confrontation happens and the football that rin had built up in the time that sae was away crumbled around him. football was no longer about playing with his brother, that had been made abundantly clear to him by sae himself. i imagine that it takes a bit of time for rin to decide what to do with himself after that. we just get a fade to black in the manga after rin and sae’s confrontation in the manga, but we do know that it was in winter. i don’t know how seasons in japan work or when football season is, but i imagine that having rin’s and isagi’s big life changing moments happen on the same day would be kind of unlikely (but who knows, this is a sports manga and the timeline is blurry).

the next change to his football is likely when he gets the letter to blue lock. this is when football becomes a tool to use in the goal of proving sae wrong. proving that he did deserve to be part of sae’s life, and that sae was in the wrong for saying what he did. football was now about making sae feel like rin did with the added weight of guilt. making sae feel guilty about how he treated rin when he returned from spain. blue lock is just a way for him to streamline that process. the facility gives him access to top trainers and training facilities, as well as the opportunities he needs to get back at sae. this football isn’t about enjoyment or happiness or anything that the football he played before was about. this football was about his anger and his need for revenge, at the same time it was also about his want for his older brother back. his want for his brother to love him like he used to, to wrap him up in his arms and take him out for ice cream and sit by the ocean with him. this football was football filled with grief over the fact that his relationship with his brother will never be the same because he is not good enough.

then the u-20 match happens, and this marks yet another change to rin’s football. this is when sae manages to fully cement himself as a world class jerk in both my mind and in rin’s. after this match rin is pissed off, like he is mad mad. he takes some of that anger out on isagi because he’s a) the one that sae praised, and b) the one who walked up to rin who was clearly spitting mad and tried to have a conversation. but after the u-20 match, this is when rin starts to play football for himself. this is when rin lets go of playing for sae altogether, and i am so excited to see what that looks like. this is rin accepting that if sae’s going to be a jerk to him for the rest of his life then he’s not going to let him run it anymore. this is rin not letting go of all the bullshit that he went through with sae, but accepting that it happened and kind of moving on.

of course, this is all from rin’s perspective. i’d like to see what sae thinks of what went down between the two of them, it’s likely much different than how rin views it.

at the time that i’m writing this post (ch 231 of the manga is latest chapter) we haven’t seen any of our paris x gen pals since they chose their team, so that means we haven’t seen rin in a while. i feel like rin’s new play style will be extremely interesting to see (especially from isagi’s pov, it’s like that boy can’t not wax poetry about rin), especially since pxg’s mentor is julian loki. since he’s in the same age range as all of blue lock it’ll be interesting to see how he handles the team.

and the u-20 match really good writing, in my opinion. it really expands on rin and sae’s relationship in way that hadn’t happened before and hasn’t happened since, at the time of this post, and that context is why i can even make this post.

hope that you enjoyed my ramblings about rin, i just think he’s neat

i realized i never posted this on tumblr??? anyways here ya go tumblr

haikyuu is soooooo…… everything. it’s so good it makes you want to do stuff and motivates you enough to realize that you have to begin somewhere and that everything is worth a try and maybe you’re lonely now but something better is coming, or maybe you’re not the best at that one thing you’re doing but it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t enjoy it, or maybe you feel like you’re behind everyone else but your path is yours to walk and it’s different from the path of those you compare yourself to, and maybe you think you’re never going to make it but you’re going to bloom after trials and tribulations, and maybe you won’t shine the way you expected to but shining isn’t limited to grand gestures and grand jobs and grand dreams and

you're not an horrible person you are 15 years old