~august.

i kept the lock lose,

just for his presence.

maybe he would come,

for that i cut the fence.

he came with matches,

and stones on his hand.

he burned everything,

just left me a bare land.

i loved him all my life,

but he shattered me so.

i kept him above all,

never wanted him to go.

i was living all alone,

he left me like a past.

i never fell in love,

he was my ever and last.

— v, from “excerpt from a book i will never write” (via letsbelonelytogetherr)

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I’ll not love you in songs,

My love will be shown to you by writing poems on your name.

Sports aren’t something I’m keen about,

But for sure I’ll gaze at you as most beautiful prize while you watch your favourite game.

I wonder if you’ll know how love is shown in books,

Would you be able to see me beyond my appearance, my looks?

In this field of affection I’m a beginner,

Getting your presence in my life will make me the most successful winner.

I’m just an unsolved puzzle with no clues,

But I can promise to cheer you up whenever you’re feeling blue.

I would love to become the reason behind your smile,

I don’t desire for big gesture but holding your hands through every aisle.

I wonder if it would be like fairy tales.

But wait, if Romeo-Juliet is your favorite rom-com then we might not click,

Because I grew up listening tales about Ram-Sita, Radhe-Krishn, Muna-Madan which makes you lovesick.

I could not give you expensive gifts to keep or wear,

 All I have to offer is affection, admiration, respect, trust, and care.

Books-of-insecurities

watching movies is my top favourite thing to do.

I grow so weary of being alive

My feet are aching, I just long for rest

& I count the reasons now to survive

They are all fleeting, I feel like a guest

The blue sky is bleeding, fading to gray

The flowers have all grown wilted and torn

There is no softness that begs me to stay

My smile becomes dim, so faded and worn

There's no advice in the heavens for me

& the stars are all just looking away

I'm a blackened branch in a burning tree

A faded novel with nothing to say

I have lost everything I loved the most

I am a person that's shaped like a ghost

One day

One day someone is going to love this When I'm in the kitchen on a Friday night Smiling for the first time in weeks Bare feet dancing to the Mamma Mia soundtrack Doing dishes by hand because The machine broke and I'd rather suffer Than call someone to fix it Singing along until I remember the window is open And my voice is broken

One day someone is going to love this The way I write bedtime stories to myself In which I am the hero or At least someone who is seen So that when I finally dream I feel like I am an actor And not just the screen

One day someone is going to love this The pile of books on my nightstand Post-its marking my favorite pages The covers collect dust from time to time But my refusal to move them is final You never know when you might need them

One day someone is going to love this The bruises all over my legs My mind doesn't always see doors or tables through its daydreams 

One day someone is going to love this They're going to fall for all that I am Not just the parts I put on for show They're going to see everything And then choose to stay

One day someone is going to love this And I won't settle for anything less

he tortures me with his gaze, i am so stupid to fall for him.

-august/fictionflaws

what doesn't kill me makes me want to die.

10.49AM FRI 21 OCT 2022.

they don't see the dew on the leaves which were my tears because those aren't from my eyes.

they don't know i cannot cry because i am just an echo of desert, and everything is dry.

instead of my eyes, my heart cries.

my heart yells evertime a nail is pierced on my soul which is so concealed that it is as invisible as air.

i have no place to shed tears. i have no home to weep.

for me, these leaves cry. they know the pain i am enduring. they understand my heartache.

i have eyes but they see me more. they are my companion in my best and worse. they give me a way to breathe.

i could never be more thankful to what earth gave me and how soil is always giving me a place to keep my feet on.

i am fortunate enough to have a friend no one else has.

he wrote poetry all over my skin

and i fell in love as he went on

we played stupid silly games

till it was the time for dawn

in the darkness of night

everything was full of ecstacy

there happened many things

with starry sky and you and me

your hands are intimidating

and how sensually you speak

caramel brown eyes

conspicuous, alluring physique

that moment was perfect

and how you did me undress

your face was bright as city lights

i didn't want to see anything else

-august