It Took My Life To Live.

when i turn off the lights

I'll not run but stand there

so the ghosts can take me

and wipe away my tear

oh how i dare to be that

i should be scared instead

but that's not me

and i will rather choose be dead

when the ghost comes near

i will ask it something

are you real.?

or are you too pretending.?

"i am too heartless", I'll say

but with skin and bones

and you're void darkness

like everyone knows

yet i could feel you shivering

just as frightened as me

you and i are no different

we are tied, even when we're free

~august/fictionflaws

how magical my life used to be

so beautiful and enchanted

then something happened, i grew up

and its like all of that magic faded

sunshine, rainbows, stars & moon

were so divinely mesmerising to me

then something happened, i grew up

now there's all darkness that i see

i had so many friends on those days

dolls, toys and things to play with

then something happened, i grew up

happiness is just as myth

no worries, sadness and fear of life

everything was peaceful and perfect

then something happened, i grew up

after that, pleasant forever slept

-august.

Bitter expectation

I kept my door open

Hoping you’ll come by

Hoping you’ll notice how my eyes rained

Hoping that you’ll ask what happened

Hoping you won’t buy my lie

I kept my door open

With a burning believe inside

That you’ll stop by my side

Thinking you’ll comfort me while I mewl.

I kept my door open

Trying to comprehend if I was right?

Lingering till midnight

Stacking up coldness from January wind

Deceiving myself that it'll be my last try

I kept my door open

Well-known that it’ll all become a waste

Knowing that I should leave the rest

I kept my door open even after knowing how bitter expectation taste.

I grow so weary of being alive

My feet are aching, I just long for rest

& I count the reasons now to survive

They are all fleeting, I feel like a guest

The blue sky is bleeding, fading to gray

The flowers have all grown wilted and torn

There is no softness that begs me to stay

My smile becomes dim, so faded and worn

There's no advice in the heavens for me

& the stars are all just looking away

I'm a blackened branch in a burning tree

A faded novel with nothing to say

I have lost everything I loved the most

I am a person that's shaped like a ghost

you touched me when i was the most unpure. you cleaned me when i was stained with their words. i've been drained like the waste and wandered between depth of ocean. water took away my thirst but it couldn't pacify the burn that was rising inside me. i drank all those dews, every morning, all midnights, just to live. they were poison, i was dying. and i couldn't figure out what was wrong with me until i was laid on my death bed. all of the people i have seen in my life till that day came to see me but no one ever, not even once, tried aware me of all those thorns that could have pricked my whole. i am still sinking and i will forever do until i reach to the end. i am thankful to you for washing away my bruises but i could never forget that you were the one to drown me. you let me sink till my lungs were filled with water and there was no place for air for me to breathe. i was gone and dead.

-Aakriti.

~sink(water).

there was a room in my house

which was as secured as

the main door

i wasn't allowed to go

neither i had keys.

but every time i passby that room

it called me inside, cried for help

i was just 7

each night i went there

sat infront of the door

i talked with it, we talked for hours

it was 3 AM now.

i want to bed.

when i woke up, i was 14

i remember nothing

except for talking with that room

it was a normal day

but house was different and

noone was concerned

then i remembered

i opened that door next day after i woke up

~august/fictionflaws

i want to fall in love, all over again.

Sometimes I feel like my dreams are connected to something. I have no idea how and why. Everyday I see a new visuals. As if I am flipping the page without reading that chapter well. It is weird how I am attracted to things. All those people's perception about things doesn't bother me at all. Souls, spirits, ghosts, witches, demon, devils, angels, god, everything means same to me. Being a child, I loved to talk alone. I could always feel someone's presence around me. I used to talk addressing them soul and witch and that never made me fearful, not even once. I am not scared of these thoughts, these feelings which are considered strange by normal people. That sword I saw in my dream with something engraved on it, I couldn't forget it. I am always a new character in my dream but I've never been hurt there. I dreamt of water for few days. I was going to die in flood. Next time, I saw myself swimming like a mermaid in underwater town. Years ago I dreamt about aliean. An aliean who always looked for me and who promised to take me someday. It was so real that I didn't go outside of home for few days. And after few months I stopped seeing that dream and I am always feeling like I am not human. Two days ago, I touched fire and I could feel it. I could read what fire was trying to tell me. Even if it is subconscious and just a random thought, how could that feel so intense to me. Fire, Water and Soil is so connected to me. It feels like I am a tree whose roots are all wide spread everywhere in the universe. My beliefs are unacceptable. I feel like people take science as a weapon and war is coming soon. Science isn't helping us to evolve. Everyday thousands of life get deceased and it's not because of natural calamities, it is because of humans. This makes me question whether I am a human or not. I can read animals. I don't know if it is accurate or not however something is trying to communicate with me. It feels unreal. I feel unreal.

Mary Oliver, from "Serengeti”, House of Light

Fall in love. Maybe it doesn't have to be with someone. Fall in love with music, art, dancing in the dark, car rides at lam, the glistening of the stars, the colors of the sun as it rises, the smell of flowers, the feeling of adrenaline that takes over your whole body and suffocates your lungs with joy, good friends who bring out your best, silence, noise, fall in love with the little things that make you feel most alive and find purpose. Fall in love with life.

– a.s.b