Dazai Chronicles

That Fangirl Moment Be Like

Does anyone ever get that feeling when you are fangirling so hard you feel like you might actually cough up your heart or whatever organ is starting to burn from all the squeeling you're doing? Or maybe how you squint your eyes so hard in excitment it feels like they might intertwine and shoot your eyeballs to the back of your skull? Or maybe how you wave your hands so visioucly that they might snap?

This lowkey be me whenever I come across my fav characters, my favorite songs, and most importantly, my favorote God.

I need more Jesus stans so we can fangirl together

Please. Please. Please. Just try it. Just try to pray. Just once. Just try Jesus. Please. Just once. Don't wait until tommorow. Don't wait until you have nothing but Him to lean on. Don't wait until final judgment. Because Jesus didn't die only for you to live with Him when you die, but to live with Him in the now, today. Every second you wait is a second you sit in darkness when you could be sitting in light. Every moment you get more comfortable in your sin, the harder it will be when you come out. I say this not to condemn, nor to judge, nor to force anything, but out of true love for you. I don't know you. I don't know what you've done. But what I do know is it doesn't matter, because Jesus made you, and He wants you. I also know what it's like to finally know Him, and I wouldn't want anyone to miss this. For 15 years I've missed out on this, and I don't want you missing even a second more of this. So just trust Him. With whatever you have, with all your addictions, with all your worries, with all your possessions, with all your blessings, with all your being. Because He will never fail.

Pray

Right now, in this moment. Put the screen down and pray. You can just sit in His presense, you could give thanks, just pray.

Guess who's still crying about Beast? Me! I watched the movie and read the beggining and end of the light novel because I got lazy. Not expecting the end in the movie though. Spoiler drawing ahead and comments btw

Made me so sad. I was going to rant in another post, but I might as well do it here.

So, number one, the sugar cube scene was so adorable I literally cried. I mean it. Like I LITERALLY sobbed.

Number 2, Oda WHYYYYYYYY?! I'M LITERALLY CRYING WHILE TYPING WRITE NOW THINKING ABOUT IT. YOU ARE FRIENDS, YOU ARE, PLEASEEEE. DAZAI'S FACE WHEN HE PULLED THE GUN OUT IN THE BAR AND TOLD HIM NOT TO CALL HIM ODASAKU WAS LIKE A SLAP TO THE FACE.

Number 3, When at the end of the movie, Fyoder was being a little rat and messed everything up, I wanted to vomit out of an array of emotions. I was confused, sad, angry, and just so dang overwhelmed. Like I was ugly crying five seconds ago cuz of Dazai and then this SEWER RAT came and made me confused. I'll get into him in anothe post.

Number 4, In the movie, when Dazai stabbed his leg to show Chuuya his commitment and how much he deserves his trust didn't make sense when I saw it, however, after I recently read the book and watched the play Julius Ceaser, I was like OOOOOOOOH. Dazai immitating Portia and Chuuya Brutus made me just sooo....wow.

Number 5, When it turned out that MORI was the new director I just- absolutley NOT. Do NOT put a pedophile in his perfect Utopia, Dazai WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?! Also, I thought he killed him the whole time. Just think about it. A pedophile in an orphanage. You know how if you're being sexually assulted or something, you're supposed to tell a trusted adult like a parentor a teacher? THESE KIDS HAVE NO PARENTS.

Number 6, Chuuya being locked up in that poor governemnt facility broke my heart. Just think about how many people are going to die? Like there is no way Chuuya Nakahara is going to succumb to a bunch of itsy bitsy chains. He' breaking out and killing everyone in there and then the agency. Convince me otherwise.

Number 7, I can't. I'll make an entirely seperate post for Chuuya too, but can we just talk for a second? He went crazy because Dazai committed suicide. He went on a whole rampage and it took 3 special ability resistance units to take him down. This is what happens when there is no Dazai when he uses corruption. But the REASON he went into corruption was just...wow. I always knew they had a complicated relationship but at the same time it was just so simple. Like, they hate eachother, but they also don't. They don't like eachother, but it's not like they don't either. It's not like they complete one another, but it's like one soul in two bodies. They're so simply complicated that if you asked me what their relation was, I'd just say, they're complications. Because in reality, their relationship is just so unexplainable. You need to see it to understand it. There are relationships like lovers, enemys, frenemies, friends, siblings, etc, but they fit into literally no category but they aren't strangers either. This is getting too long, so I'll make a different post about that.

Number 8, Chuuya pleaseeee don'ttttt. There is no need to attack the agency, my guy. He wants to avenge Dazai's death, but what is there to avenge? Dazai did suicide. He wasn't killed. Chuuya was so upset that he wanted to kill all the agency. I just....can't. It's kind of sad. This is also going to be really long if I go on, so I'll make another post about this topic.

Number 9, the way Chuuya just really couldn't understand made me wanna bang my head on the wall in tears. He truly couldn't think of why Dazai did it. He was kind of alright one second and then dead the next. The entire time, you can tell how little Chuuya was incorporated into the script he wrote. The ending for each one was different as the movie had him go insane and be put under governemnt care, while the light novel just left him to do his own thing. However, in both you can see that neither of them ever knew what was going on. Dazai never gave him a reason to why he killed himself. Everyone else seems to be going on like nothing happened or at least as if they know what happened and came to terms with it, but then he knows nothing. He was his bodyguard and right hand man and yet NOTHING. I'll get back to this in another post lol. TvT

So yeah. I cried a lot.

I love how if a christian simply states that LGBTQ is a sin and against God's will, like not shaming or condeming or insulting the person nor the group, but just not agreeing or engaging in their activities, they are immediently the scum of the Earth and become a Judgy jerk. I also love that if literally anybody mocks and belittles the christian faith and scorns it and it's believers while dragging our traditions, holidays and saviour in the dirt while marketing it as some fat old man with a sack of presents, a dumb mutant bunny that lays eggs, or even using the symbol of peace from our God as their sign of pride, most less out of spite than others I will 100% admit, it's just funny and totally acceptable. Oh wait, no. I don't love it. I hate it. I hate it a lot.

I hate how God is a banned topic of discussion in public.

I hate how we are forced to agree to something people know we cannot support or we are labeled as disgusting.

I hate how saying Jesus loves you is an insult to people.

I hate how christian social persecution is so popular yet so unrecognized because it is a big religoun.

I hate how people always feel the need to throw shade and hate to the majority groups simply because of a past and a minority they possess.

I don't just mean christians, I mean all of them.

I hate how everybody dogs on white people because their ancestors used to be racist.

I hate how they are denied the rights to experience other people's cultures simply because of their skin.

I hate how minority groups sometimes abuse and missuse the hard work of their ancestors by using their skin color as a pass to say and do anything.

I hate how every tiny inconvenience ends with a "because I'm XYZ" when it has nothing to do with XYZ.

I hate that I have to tell people of my OWN race that they should stop being jerks to white people and stop picking fights with them if they want to put weave in their hair.

I hate how people think it's ok to say racist things about white people but when a white person says something to you, it's a problem.

I hate how black people can take on "white" characteristics but when a white person does it it's gross.

I hate how people only see two races when there are so many more.

I hate how it's all about black rep, and I love that I do, but when it takes it too far and now anything not containing a black person in it is discriminatory.

I hate how people expect anime and gaming industries from eastern countries to show black people when the people in the region are majority asian.

I hate how people are ok blackwashing characters but not whitewashing them, or even making them lightskinned.

I hate how people blackwash characters that are ALREADY A MINORITY like in anime because the characters are ASIAN.

I hate how people refuse to give representation to races that aren't black, like Eastern asians, southern asians, island pacificers, hespanics, middle eastern, etc.

I hate how when people say we are in a world where we have started accepting our differences, they are lying.

They are lying because accepting and ignoring are two different things.

Accepting them would be talking about things we don't agree on in regular conversations, welcoming friendly debate, not having to be afraid to say something out of fear of not agreeing with a social norm, not facing social persecution.

Today we do not have that.

Today we ignore our differences.

We avoid religous talk, political talk, saying we dislike a movie everyone else loves, saying we like a genre nobody else likes, hobbies other's could find a little odd like, mentioning family situations, mentioning, disagreeing with social norms, and so much more.

I hate it so much.

And I hate that the world doesn't hate it.

Non Stop Grind

Have been drawing everyday, all day, every night, all night for the past 3 days. Almost done with my refs (not really) and already have my layout for my attacks (not finished cuz it's against the rules). I have been in a major art block for sooo long so this was SO REFRESHING

Hello, wonderful souls! 🤍🌍

I hope you're doing well. 🌿

Could you help me amplify my family's story and bring awareness to our struggle? 🙏🏻

💬 Please reblog my pinned post or consider donating just $5—your support could truly make a difference in saving lives amidst war and hardship.

Your kindness and voice matter more than you know. Thank you from the bottom of my heart! 🤍🌿

🕊️ @mosabsdr | Every share counts. 💫

I really don't know much about what to think regarding the war except I don't like it. It started because of violence on one side and is continued by violence by the other. Uninvolved people have been hurt and people killed when they had nothing to do with the attacks. Many people have come to ask for help, but they're very hard to distinguish from scammers because there are people who take advantage of their situation and fake a donation account. It is so unfair because the people who need help can't get it because it' going to scammers and people no longer trust them. I have to check every inch and cranny of an account to make sure I'm not sharing a scam to people. I don't know for sure if this is real or not, so please if you're considering donating, check it yourself and make sure you feel right about it. I was very hesitant to repost anything regarding this matter because I'm not exactly pro anybody, just a highschooler who wanta people to get along, but I also don't want to ignore people in their time of need when I can at least do this. So please don't take my word for it, make sure this is legit before you do anything. I'm only reposting this because out of all the asks I've gotten so far, this is the least bot sounding one so far.

Me waking up this morning litterally bound to my bed b3cause of crippiling neck cramps and stiffness, resulting in ugly sobs, desperate screams, and frantic praying. Literally was so bad I couldn't face forward. Like I physically could not even put my head at a 3/4ths angle before I was subdued by overwhelming pain that even after going back to the position in which I was bound, would contiune to burn as if I had bitten into a battery. But with my neck.

Also me when I sleep:

Funny thing about this is I started praying and thanking God and then I was just like HAHAHAHAHAAHA JOKES ON YOU DEMON, PAIN ONLY BROUGHT ME CLOSER TO THE LORD. NOT TODAY SATAN while ugly sobbing and clutching my neck :>

Aktugawa plz why

Ok, so if you haven't seen bungou stray dogs season 5, this is a spoiler. Proceed with that in mind.

Aktugawa's ability can manipulate clothing right? Is there a specific reason why he can't use the clothes on someoneelse's back or what? Like I love my boy Aku, but my dude would be so overpowered if he just used his head. Ik he can use more than his coat cuz he used his shirt on the ship in season 5, so unless they were both of some special material, he can use any cloth. Bsd could have been so much shorter if my dude just stabbed and sliced everyone with the clothes on their backs. Like the only way to dodge that is to strip down to nothing, and I don't think anybody's gonna do that, or at least think to do so immediently. We could have killed Fukuichi so easily if we just kept stabbing him with his OWN clothes. I love you Atsushi, but we can all agree that if Aktugawa just used that move when they first met, bsd would have been an episode long.

Why have I been venting for the past 4 posts?