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il punto è che amo mangiare.
ma odio la sensazione di pienezza, di sazietà, la nausea.
odio il modo in cui trasforma il mio corpo, il suo continuo depositare grasso sulla pancia, sulle gambe, sulle braccia, sulla faccia.
odio il fatto che, per mangiare anche solo una mela, debba sbottonare i pantaloni, perché il mio addome si gonfia così tanto che non ce la faccio a sentire la pressione dei bottoni contro di esso.
odio il fatto che io non possa più vestirmi come una volta, perché non mi va più niente di ciò che mi piace, e perfino la gente attorno a me ha notato che vesto solo di tute e maglie larghe ormai.
odio i sensi di colpa dopo ogni pasto, odio il pentimento che deriva dall'aver mangiato l'ultimo boccone anche quando stavo già per sboccare, odio il fatto che io sia l'unica delle persone che conosco a non avere un bel fisico, soprattutto da nuda, e ciò mi fa vergognare terribilmente poiché sono fidanzata.
odio tutta questa rabbia repressa per me stessa, odio tutti questi dannati chili di troppo.
e un po', talvolta molto più di "un po'", odio me stessa per aver permesso che ciò accadesse, per aver permesso a questo corpo di diventare com'è ora.
13/10/22, ore 02:38.
how many cals does this look like?
toast is wholewheat
two eggs
and the apples is about 4 wedges cut into small pieces
guys so sorry my ipad died and i had trouble logging in on the web but im back, but heres a lil update;
the easter week i was sick and didnt have ’proper’ meals until friday which was great, and i went to our cabin where we have a scale, and i’ve maintained/lost a little weigh! im super motivated rn, and im gonna try to workout everyday again, get back into that ykk
FUCK M Y FUCKING LIFE I HAVE SWIMMING TMRW ON MY P.E
Introducing me:
Hii, i’m märta!
a bit of info about me;
•pro recovery ofc!
• struggle with binge eating!
• minor
• have strict parents so tips about that’d be great!
• feel free to dm any time about anything!
• dni if; homophobe, anti @na, transphobe, racist, a creep or anything similar thx🥰
• always open for new friends!
and lastly, i’m kinda new so dont be scared to tell me if i do anything thats considered ’weird’ or strange on here!
Parents: Have you eaten today?
Me: Yes (lying)
Today's meals
Breakfast: black coffee 2cal
Lunch: Plain shirataki noodles 10cal, a pickle 7cal
Dinner: Sour pickle 7cal
Total: 26 calories.
Steps taken: 862 (Lazy day), burned 37 calories.
Girl dinner <3
Stepping on the scale over and over again, hoping that the number will somehow go down.
Tiny legs and big shoes <3
I can't wait until I can lay on my side and my stomach fat won't spill over.
My holy grail: shirataki noodles.
Only 10 calories in 100 grams, fills you up and won't make you fat.
I've let go, I got so busy with life that I forgot what I was striving for. But now I will get back on track, I have more free time now, I will finally look how I used to, weigh what I used to.
CW:80
GW:55
I'm trying to get thin here and the smell of my neighbors making potato pancakes has spread across my room, screw them fr
I saw another girl today with a4a, her body is stunning but 60% of her hair is gone, please don't forget your vitamins and nutritious foods guys 💛✨
Vegetables > rice cakes
If you are scared of fruits, eat them before 12pm, you will get the vitamins and burn off the calories throughout the day.
I care about you 💛✨
Teaspoons >>> Tablespoons
This must be a sign lol
The debate whether I should have breakfast to get me through classes or to keep on fasting.
Big boots tiny legs is my dream
Parents: "Why aren't you eating?"
Also them:
"You'd look better if you lost weight"
"You're the heaviest in the family"
"Jesus, why are you eating so much"
"Your thighs are so big"
"How much do you weigh? You look so big"
"I was way smaller when I was your age"
"You eat like a grown man"
"Maybe if you ate less your skin would be clearer"
Irl meanspo fr
Do you really want that pizza or do you want to look good?
I love the feeling when my stomach hurts from starving <3
I found some more portion control/foodspo
I hate that I recovered, I was so thin and lovely back then. I stopped being afraid of food and became overweight, I look so ugly. This time I will do better, I will become even thinner. People keep commenting how much bigger I am now and it's giving me the motivation to starve.
My home is empty so pls reblog if you are an active blog in march/april 2023
Gothic thinspo
My personal rules:
Only light snacks after 7pm
Absolutely no food after 9pm
You're not hungry, you're bored
Drink spirits instead of beer, it makes you fat
No sugar allowed
No potatoes
No bread
If you crave it, chew it up and spit it out
Use a smaller plate
Who needs breakfast anyway?
Want some food? Go smoke a cig
Split what you're eating onto several plates, it will trick your brain and the people you live with will think that you're eating more than you actually are
Always eat in your room