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You ever spend a few years trying to mould yourself to suit someone else and what they like but it doesn't work? And then you get out of that, because its obviously unhealthy, but then youre stuck not knowing who you are or what you like, romantically, so you just sort of flounder. Then you dont meet people ever or know how to meet people, so its less like digging a hole deeper and more like standing in quicksand. When your only standard becomes "someone who likes me" because you've already experienced being with someone who didn't and learned not much else.