Christian Pulisic Imagines - Blog Posts

checkmate, i couldn't lose - christian pulisic

pairing: christian pulisic x reader

author’s note: based on interview christian gave in 2021,let me know if you liked this<3

word count: 700 words

from feeling you are on top of the world to watching your loved one in the coffin,life sure is unpredictable.

it was hard to comprehend why was this happening to christian,but there was nothing either of you could’ve done to bring his grandfather back to life. it all happened so quickly,he never had a chance to say goodbye to him.

to make timing even worser,it was a week before he planned to introduce you to him. it was about time because his grandfather wanted to meet who is that girl that got him utterly infatuated. not to mention he was the first one to hear all about you. it was not a secret that christian trusted his judgment very much.

even though unfortunately he never got to meet you,he was absolutely sure that you were “the one” for christian. the way his eyes light up everytime he would even think about you,the way he could not help to smile when he was taking about you… all the signs were there.

and yet there was not a single sign that was the last time he will ever see him alive and play chess with him. you immediately knew something terribly wrong happened when u saw a tear falling from his left eye after answering his sister’s call. quiet “what’s wrong” escaped from your lips as you sat down on floor next to him.

he still couldn’t process these news and it felt like time has stopped. all he could do at that moment melt down into your embrace.

it took him a while to realize that opening up is never not something to be ashamed of. he thought he was too tough to need help and didn’t wanted to be a bother to you with his rants.

eventually, you assured him when it’s all on him,it can feel like a lot. that’s not how it should be and it won’t be as long as he has you by his side. this was the first time he broke down in tears in front of you even though he showed vulnerability before,it was nothing like this.

it felt like hours passed before he managed to say devastating news out loud. this meant your trip to his family is gonna happen sooner than you planned. too bad it was under these unfortunate circumstances.

one of the reasons he didn’t really open to anyone because he couldn’t stand “i totally understand how you feel” sentence. already prone to over-analyzing everything,this just made him feel like nobody is actually listening. somehow you knew he hated hearing that and you never used it. even when you didn’t feel whatever was bothering him on your own skin,you did understand it.

however,this time you understand from your own experience. you were very close with your grandparents as a kid. they taught you pretty much there is to learn. reading,tying your shoelaces,writing,manners…and when both of them passed away in a short period of time,it felt unreal.

him and his grandfather had their thing and it was playing chess. after the funeral,christian wanted to see his room one last time. you wanted to give him privacy to do it but he wanted you to come with him. he took your hand and gently pulled you to him. when you entered room,his look was immediately on chess board next to vinyl recorder and you started to put pieces together.

“wait,that’s why you have tattoo of chess piece?”

“one of reasons,yeah. he taught me how to play when i was younger,but i am nowhere near level.”

“i didn’t even know you knew how to play it.”

“i guess i never mentioned it,but me and kante sometimes play it on plane. we always have good battles but it’s hard to beat him.”

“i’m here if you wanna feel like beth from queen’s gambit. absolutely clueless about how any of this is working.”

“hm,i think out of all people you would understand it. “

“why?”

“he used to say that life is like chess because it consists of very limited number of moves. you need to make good use of them and create your own opportunities-just like i did with you.”

“well whatever you did is definitely working on me.”

“checkmate,i couldn’t lose.”

fragments of us - part one

pairing : christian pulisic x reader

summary: “you think okay i get it,i’m prepared for the worst, but you hold out that small hope, see, and that’s what fucks you up. that’s what kills you.”

warnings: mentions of infertility

author: i already have ideas on how to continue this series so if you liked this one and want more parts let me know! any feedback is appreciated and thank u for reading, i hope u will like it <3

We had a lot of dreams in place. Reflecting on it now, we took for granted the control we had. Unfortunately,we didn’t even think that some things were out of our control.

Two years ago, when we sat on your porch discussing our future,we thought we had all the time and possibilities in the world. In the beginning,you were hesitant to mention one specific dream of yours.

Then one night,you were stroking my hair and I surrendered to your soft touch,my eyes were getting heavier by your every touch. My eyes were closed,but I was still awake because I wanted to savour every moment.

Your soothing voice made it really hard to not drift off. I immersed myself into every story you told me.Particularly the ones that included me,that included us,even though I already knew where was story going. At least from my perspective.Our perspectives weren’t different. At the time, we rarely fought.

Your stories gave me insight into the world through your eyes.Insight into how you’ve seen me and your actions aligned with your words and, how could I ever ask for anything more?

That night when you thought I was asleep,you confessed something you were afraid of when I was awake.You always wanted to have “Christian Jr”. It took everything in me to not laugh at your confession. I still remember how flastered you were when I told you I wasn’t asleep. At first,you thought I pretended I didn’t hear you because that’s not a dream we shared.

A feeling of relief washed over you when I showed you my list of names I loved because who doesn’t have one?

Today is the day we didn’t see coming. But yet, I think we both have seen it coming. For all the foresight I had and the fears we quietly admitted to,the doctor’s words hit me like a ton of bricks.

They made our worst fear official. Lists of baby names won’t ever be used. There is never going to be mini you or mini me. I hope and I pray that someday, our dreams will be realised. That we will find our promised land and taste the sweetness of milk and honey. Until that day,can we promise to love each other as we have been loved?