Abandonment Issues - Blog Posts

Dont you guys just hate when something happens that mirrors an experience from your childhood that made you so scared of other humans you avoided them and stopped believing in friendship entirely for 4 years and now you’re terrified they both hate you because that’s what happened last time and every other time ever

This happened to me a few minutes ago so I made comic

I got good at leaving; but I'm asking you to stay.

These words have been with me for so long they aren't easy to say.

I'm afraid if I speak them to the empty air there won't be anything left of me.

I haven't tried before; I just watched them leave.

So I'm hoping this time, if I give these words to you.

You'll take their place in my chest and say you love me too.

I want to slitttt their throaatssss, it's not FAAIRRRRR, HOW COME THEY GET TO BE TOGETHER AND IM ALL SAD AND PATHETIC AND ALONE !!!!!

I was imagining the perfect partner in class again >////< Im going to try to get in classes without all of my current 'friends' because i just neeeeed to meet other people and find a partner whos js so nice >////<

I need someone to stay with me so bad omfg😭

The amount of times I've tried to tell people to not talk to me if they can't handle me bc I know I'm not a great person, but people are always like

'No I don't mind, I can handle it ^^'

LIKE OBVIOUSLY YOU COULDNT BECAUSE YOU LET ME GET ATTACHED THEN LEFT

AGAHAUAHAHAHA IF I GET ONE MORE FP OR FRIENDS AND THEY LEAVE, YALL WILL NEBER SEE ME AGAIN 💀

*cough* @vodozemacc350 *cough*

must be so damn nice to be loved and accepted by somebody despite your flaws bro

what does that feel like

(abandonment issues kicking in full swing)

wanting to be loved but never want to experience loving someone else ever again

I realised the reason I love reading those romantic xReaders so much is because my fear of always being left behind runs deep enough that it bleeds into fiction. I assume everyone is going to leave me once they get a crush and/or fall in love, so especially when I'm reading xReaders, I have to be reading the romantic ones, because I know that as long as the characters like me romantically, they'll never leave me. I realised this when I read a completely platonic one, and I was uncomfortable. I was complaining to myself that I much preferred the romantic ones, which were much more fun and interesting. But when I got to the end, I thought about how if I had that friendship in real life, I would have felt so fulfilled! So I reread it, and it was so cute and fluffy and wholesome and I loved it! But I wondered what the character would do if he ever fell in love with someone else. And then it hit me.

I fear even a fictional character, in a fictional scenario that I can control just by thinking about it, leaving me for a romantic entanglement.

I am not okay.

Me: Once these friends stop loving me, I can never love again.

My logic: What? They still love you tho?? Why are you saying that, they've given no indication that they're gonna stop.

Me: This is it. I will never use my heart again.

Logic: Literally nothing is happening????

Me: Cruel world, I shame you for hurting me. Tears, I loathe that I need you. Love, I wish I never knew you.

Logic: LITERALLY SHUT UP, YOU'RE FINE??????????