I Miss My Husband 😒

me scripting that orgasms are even better in my other realities

need to kiss him

My favourite sound, my serotonin boost ❤️

"waow i really wanna be this persons friend.." continues to not talk to them but likes every single one of their tumblr posts i come along

so let’s talk severance. and shifting. and briefly about loa.

because. i'm confused. this is an open forum for anyone who has ever stared into the abyss and had the abyss stare back, except the abyss is a fluorescent-lit office cubicle and the abyss is also your bedroom, and you are in both places at once, except not really.

quick recap for the uninitiated: in severance, employees undergo a procedure that splits their consciousness in two. the ‘innie’ only exists at work, the ‘outie’ only exists outside of it. neither remembers the other’s life. a clean, surgical divide. a self cleaved in two like some corporate-cooked ouroboros. make sense? no? yes? congratulations, you are alive.

now. shifting. shifting isn’t exactly that. but. isn’t it a little bit that? just a fraction? a sliver? because your dr self isn’t some blank-faced mannequin waiting for cr you to clock in and take over. they’re not a placeholder, not a consciousness-on-pause. they exist. fully. they are you in the same way you are you. and when you shift, you don’t overwrite them. you sync with them. it’s stepping into a river that was already rushing, already frothing, already carrying you forward before you even realized you were ankle-deep.

so no, your dr self doesn’t ‘know’ about shifting. until you shift. unless they were already aware of shifting. but let’s not go full inception just yet. because before that moment, they were just living, unbothered, thriving, possibly drinking a very good martini, possibly about to be hit by a cab. and now, here you are. a new awareness superimposed onto the old. which begs the question: if you can shift into them, could someone shift into you? could cr you be the outie in someone else's severance? is some other version of you sliding into place, right now, reading this, wearing your socks, stealing your morning?

let’s get messier. let's talk homework. let’s talk clones. let’s talk about whether or not i would even know if i had shifted. because. okay. say cr me is the innie. and the shifting me.....the one actively intending, scripting, affirming....is the outie. would my innie know the outie had shifted? would i know? or am i a paper doll, neatly folded into a reality i had no hand in choosing, while some other me slides into the cockpit?

because let’s discuss. people talk about clones. about leaving something behind to keep up appearances. but are they aware? do they feel it? do they have the creeping suspicion that reality is off by a fraction of a millimeter? do they ever get that thing where they walk into a room and forget why they’re there, except it’s their entire life? if shifting is severance, who's the innie and who's the outie? is cr you the outie, with full agency, only vaguely aware of the other? or is cr you the innie, there in a single slice of reality, while your dr self gets the full panoramic view? maybe it’s neither. maybe the whole premise collapses because, unlike severance, the connection is never actually severed. i think that this can be applied to manifestation too. because. if you manifest, say, a different face.....is the you with the old face aware that it worked???

maybe you are both. maybe it depends on where you stand. maybe it depends on where you shift. maybe none of us know what we’re talking about and reality is a mobius strip we’re all just scrambling across in different directions, trying to make it make sense.

anyway. thoughts? feelings? a growing sense of dread?

in my head we’re all friends 😭

so here’s why i personally didn't like *and* left shifttok. the thing is. it’s not that it’s inherently bad, it’s just… sort of missing the point. like, wasn’t the whole goal to shift? to get out, to go somewhere else, to slip through the cracks of reality like a goddamn pro? but somewhere along the way, it turned into a glorified pinterest board. edits on edits on edits. wattpad drabbles disguised as scripts. playlists that are less about actually shifting and more about curating an aesthetic, a moodboard, a vibe. and suddenly, you’re not shifting, you’re just making content about shifting.

like, i get it. romanticising your dr is half the fun. i did and still do it myself !! who doesn’t want to bask in the idea of their perfect world? but when that becomes the main event, when it overtakes the actual act of shifting, what are we even doing here? it’s like planning a trip, making all the itineraries, buying cute outfits, but then never getting on the plane. just sitting in your room, looking at your suitcase, rewatching your own tiktoks about how fun the trip is gonna be. that’s what shifttok became. this endless loop of people hyping up their drs but not actually going to them.

and maybe that’s the problem. because if you spend too much time making your dr look good instead of actually experiencing it, you start treating it like fiction. like something separate from you, instead of something you’re literally living. people started making edits of their drs like they were making fandom edits of a tv show. like, is this a real place you’re shifting to or is it just your latest hyperfixation? be honest. you spend so much time cooped up on video star or capcut and suddenly you don't remember the last time you affirmed or even thought about shifting.

and i’m not saying you can’t have fun with it. obviously, dream up the most insane, gorgeous, cinematic dr possible. but at some point, you have to ask yourself: am i actually trying to shift? or am i just roleplaying the idea of shifting? because shifttok is great at making shifting look cool. but the second you start seeing your dr as something to be consumed rather than something to be lived, you’ve already lost the plot.

so yeah. i left, and as soon as i did, i started actually shifting. because i actually wanted to do it. not just make a trailer for a movie i’m never gonna watch. does this make sense?????

if you've ever interacted with any of my posts theres a 99% chance I've stalked your account

Introduction kinda

Little Disclaimer: Take everything I do or say with a grain of salt as not everything works for everyone and also this is just to share my personal journey to see if it resonates with anyone else ♡

So my shifting journey started back in 2020 from shiftok which really saturated my mind with limitations and the need to be doing a hundred steps to shift to my desired reality. I did take a break last year and only started getting back into shifting like 6 months ago.

For me, a part of me didnt know how to restart my journey and let go of all the beliefs I had because I was convinced that it required a lot of effort to undo. But I've learnt over time that changing my mindset is simple.

Everydoing we do is changing states, whether we are changing to get something physical like money and cars ect or something mental like a new mindset around something like confidence and self esteem.

Therefore, changing my mindset for me was as simple as deciding that I dont need to be in starfish position to shift and I dont need to count to 100 everytime. The most important part is persisting in it and for me personally I don't go out of my way to persist. I let it be natural and simply remind myself if any old beliefs are brought to mind.

I haven't reached my desired reality yet but I do think I'll be there soon in the 3d.

I dont interact with shiftok much anymore for me personally its a lot of ambiguous statements and requires more thinking and explanation so I tend to look into other manifesters and law of assumption blogs/ videos ect.

~Happy shifting ~

nobody understands the yearning i’m experiencing for this man I actually want to claw off my skin, manifesting I shift tonight 🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️

just spent 45 mins watching woozi edits i should sleep its 4am😪

*sighs really loudly*