I In No Way Support / Make Money Off This Product, Nor Do I Give A Shit About It.  What I FULLY Endorse

“ Sometimes i feel so happy, sometime I feel so sad.  Sometimes I feel so happy, but mostly you just, make me mad, baby you just, make me mad. Linger on, your pale blue eyes, linger on, your pale blue eyes.  Thought of you as my mountaintop, thought of you as my peak, thought of you as everything, I’ve had but, couldn’t keep, I’ve had but couldn’t keep.”

Here’s a VHS that was really popular when i was finding the internet.  Is it fake, probably, is it entertainment?  Oh yeah...

I tell Nicos flowered backside how beautiful she is, how sweet she is and how much I need her. Her skin and hair. To make it last, because this is the only time I can say it. Because the moment this is over, we'll hate eachother. The only person we'll hate more than eachother is ourselves. These are the only few moments I can be human, just for these minutes, I don't feel lonely. And riding me up and down, Nico says, ' so when do I get to meet your mom?' And ' never ' I say, ' That's impossible, I mean. ' ...Ask any man about his mom during sex, and you can delay the big blast forever. And Nico says, ' So is she dead now? ' and I say, ' sort of. ' Anymore when i go to visit my mom, I don't even pretend to be myself, hell i don't even pretend to know myself very well, not anymore. My mom, it's like her sole occupation at this point is losing weight. What's left of her is so thin she has to be a puppet.... The next time I go to visit my mom I'm still Fred Hastings, her old public defender, and she keeps me yakking all afternoon. I tell her I'm not married, and she says that's a shame...The next visit I'm still Fred, but married and with 3 children. ' Three is too many, people should stop at two ' she says, the next visit I have two. Every visit there's less and less of her under the blanket, in another way there's less and less of Victor Mancini sitting in the chair next to her bed. The next day I'm myself again, and it's only a few minutes before my mom rings for the nurse to escort me back to the lobby. We sit not talking then she says ' Victor ' she says, ' I need to tell you something....Fred Hastings was here, you remember Fred don't you? These days he has a wife and two perfect children, it was such a pleasure ' my mom says ' to see life work out for such a good person. ' ' I told him to buy land ' my moms says ' they're not making it anymore ' I ask her who she means by they, and she presses the nurse button again

Chuck Palahniuk, Choke

when i filled out my required draft card i ended my signature with a big smiley face, call me to war and find out how quick i become canadian....

Here’s a fairly gay song to prove a point.  The most beautiful languages in human history are as follows:

1.) Irish Gaelic

2.) Russian

3.) Japanese

French is so far down the list to me I think none of you get languages, italian too, ending every word with A or O makes it flow sure, but that doesnt mean its a pretty language, you’ve been brainwashed by movies.

When you’re lonely, you seek people.  You find people, you compromise, you sell your good traits and pretend the bad arent there, an vice versa.  When you reach a certain point, you dont care anymore and all your relationships fail, and then you’re lonely for a long time, and then you hook up out of desperation with excuses therein as to why you arent desperate.

And of course those relationships fail, because theyre more about your own problems and less about the people involved therein.  Then you stop caring, and die.  Some people do this quicker than others.  We all start as hot love affairs and end as roomates with benefits, yet we all waste so much time on it.

Id say Humans are 45% concerned with love, 45% concerned with highs, be it drugs or overeating or whatever, 5% regret, and 5% coercive optimism.  Maybe if we all stopped lying to ourselves and eachother we could get somewhere..i mean, did you SEE the new walking dead, how amazing, this is a life well spent, the big bang theory, hahahaha, he said  something sorta nerdy and there was a laugh track! hahahaha, im gonna eat some popcorn, pretend to read a book to appeal to hipsters, then check my many online dating profiles for a hit, this is me spending my life well, this is me, progressing....

I’m thinking every so often I’ll post a book, just because I can, and tell you if I think you should read it or not, who WOULDN’T trust the opinions of a drunk stranger concerning classical and contemporary literature, obviously.

Treasure Island, this is a book I read as a kid, some of you may have read it as a kid or a teen.  Personally all i remembered was typical pirate story, nothing really special.  I reread this as an adult, and found it a much more interesting book.  Though written from the perspective of a young teen boy, it’s much better understood from an adult mindset.  the brief synopsis ( SPOILERS ):

Jim Hawkins is a 13 year old boy who works at his family business the Benbow Inn.  A rich seacaptain comes to town and takes residence there, where he gets drunk and generally terrorizes the patrons.  He pays Jim each week to keep lookout for any seafaring men that should happen to pass through, especially the seafaring man with one leg.

The captain as it turns out was the first mate for a crew that found a great treasure and buried it on, you guessed it treasure island.  One day one of his old crew comes in and gives him the black spot, the mark of death, and the captain chases him out with a cutlass, come in and has a heart attack.  The doctor sees him and tells him if he keeps drinking he’ll die.  the next day hes getting booze shakes and drinks and dies, shocking.

Jim and the rich doctor set up a crew and sail for treasure island.  Half the crew turns out to be the old captains crew and when they hit the island they all mutiny and fight and so on.  A giggle here, and a laugh there later and the pirates are all dead but long john silver the one legged seafarer, who weasled his way into a pardon at the bitter end.

ok, now onto why you should read this as an adult.  Well it depends on who you are I suppose, i happened to grow up in a bit of a well, a coastal town of drunken fishermen, just really like horribly accented new england drunks.  As such these sort of character i found sadly relateable and was surprised to find besides the manner in which they spoke, the conversations and things they did were the same as whats going on now 100s of years later.

Infact a I reread the book as an adult i realized the treasure, the pirates, the sword fights, really the books not about them in the least.  I mean if you like action there’s plenty, but its an interesting and very subtle narration on things like the nature of people, the futility of seeking riches, the advantage and disadvantages of fighting, and so on.  And instead of it being the sort of young adult reader book i remembered it as, it was very adult, had some of the most memorable fictional characters I can think of, and had quotes, within context, that were astonishingly good writing.  I also have a suspicion that this book is where like 60% of our conceptions of a pirate come from.

It’s a shortish book, if you like reading and havent read it since youth, try picking it up sometime, if you havent read it and think its a teen pirate novel, its not, give it a shot, its one of those books where you legitimately want to know what happens next.

Clay, did you ever love me?" I'm studying a billboard and say that I didn't hear what she said. "I asked if you ever loved me?" On the terrace the sun bursts into my eyes and for one blinding moment I see myself clearly. I remember the first time we made love, in the house in Palm Springs, her body tan and wet, lying against cool, white sheets. "Don't do this, Blair," I tell her. "Just tell me." I don't say anything. "Is it such a hard question to answer?" I look at her straight on. "Yes or no?" "Why?" "Damnit, Clay," she sighs. "Yeah, sure, I guess." "Don't lie to me." "What in the fuck do you want to hear?" "Just tell me," she says, her voice rising. "No," I almost shout. "I never did." I almost start to laugh. She draws in a breath and says, "Thank you. That's all I wanted to know." She sips her wine. "Did you ever love me?" I ask her back, though by now I can't even care. She pauses. "I thought about it and yeah, I did once. I mean I really did. Everything was all right for a while. You were kind." She looks down and then goes on. "But it was like you weren't there. Oh shit, this isn't going to make any sense." She stops. I look at her, waiting for her to go on, looking up at the billboard. Disappear Here. "I don't know if any other person I've been with has been really there, either ... but at least they tried." I finger the menu; put the cigarette out. "You never did. Other people made an effort and you just ... It was just beyond you." She takes another sip of her wine. "You were never there. I felt sorry for you for a little while, but then I found it hard to. You're a beautiful boy, Clay, but that's about it." I watch the cars pass by on Sunset. "It's hard to feel sorry for someone who doesn't care." "Yeah?" I ask. "What do you care about? What makes you happy?" "Nothing. Nothing makes me happy. I like nothing," I tell her. "Did you ever care about me, Clay?" I don't say anything, look back at the menu. "Did you ever care about me?" she asks again. "I don't want to care. If I care about things, it'll just be worse, it'll just be another thing to worry about. It's less painful if I don't care." "I cared about you for a little while." I don't say anything. She takes off her sunglasses and finally says, "I'll see you later, Clay." She gets up. "Where are you going?" I suddenly don't want to leave Blair here. I almost want to take her back with me. "Have to meet someone for lunch." "But what about us?" "What about us?" She stands there for a moment, waiting. I keep staring at the billboard until it begins to blur and when my vision becomes clearer I watch as Blair's car glides out of the parking lot and becomes lost in the haze of traffic on Sunset. The waiter comes over and asks, "Is everything okay, sir?" I look up and put my sunglasses on and try to smile. "Yeah.

Bret Easton Ellis, Less Than Zero