Here’s A Fairly Gay Song To Prove A Point.  The Most Beautiful Languages In Human History Are As Follows:

and heres a song about being lost at sea, and deciding who to eat, and right after eating said person, finding land, you may recognize this from the horrible Rammstein cover that was horrible, not since “ Das Model “ has Rammstein fucked up a song so bad.  Here’s Aria-Shtil.....

The Buddha teaches us that life is suffering, to live is to suffer, because to live is to need, and to need is to suffer, and to be enlightened is to be free of need, of suffering, the Buddha teaches that the point of life is to live long enough to realize the point of living is to get ready to be dead longer, let go of need and consciousness, and accept it.

After 30 years, I totally understand this notion, it's already more than enough, not that most humans drive me the fuck up the wall or anything,  Kisses, love you...

“ Dead “

My best friend just got married, wasnt even invited.  Oh yeah, 30 years well spent people, ive made so many connections

Watching nazi shit lately, Anne frank made it til something like 3 weeks before the war ended, she and her sister died of typhoid, shall we then assume that despite good or bad, we are to make it right up until we may make it, and die short? Do we all simply live JUST to die? what is life, is life truly contingent on those around you that allow it?  Is life forever a witch hunt?

Are you only heard when some crazy force silences you?  if anne frank, despite her words that should have been heard, were ugly, would her diary sell as well?  Many many MANY deep thinking minds were destroyed in ww2,i find it strangely convenient that the stories that sell best are the ones with a good face that are edited well, are all stories contingent on how we sell them to the tribe of man?

What makes a story you want to read,is it the thoughts therein or is it how pretty the thoughts are worded, do the sounds need to come out of a face you somehow remotely relate to?  what IS it you consider depth, and more importantly WHY is it considered depth?  Have you any questions to ask?  Is the editor of the story really the one that makes ya dick hard/ginny tickle, do you even know what it IS that really tickles you? Questions Questions.

Shall it then forever be a battle of who has the prettiest words,or is it, supplementally the one who says the words closest to your own thoughts?  Do you strive to relate to people or do you strive to find those who would mirror yourself in your small view of the world and tiny endeavors therein?  

shall you then punish those who would deny your instant gratification?  should a stifling word become you antithesis?   Have I done too many mushrooms in my life?  Probably...

Do you really know what it is to be alive before you face death?  How many people do you have to bury do you think before youve outlived enough people?  what is it you want from life, what the fuck IS it you want?!

Do you imagine death as some floating experience in the clouds, do you see it as the end?  Are there truly any ends?  What IS it to end?  are not all beginnings some other end?  Can your tiny brain even conceive of not being?  If not, is that some copping mechanism?   Are you just stupid?  what IS stupid?

Are the victims of the world the only voices that matter?  Do we all not suffer our own hell, Is the winner not really a loser? Has not every action we should do have repercussions of which we cant comprehend, can we even comprehend ourselves?  

Will our spouses that cheat on us, or our self involved children save us from such fates?  are we just dooming those around us to suffer in our fate, to drown in the tides of our own raging waters?  Why is it we only destroy that which we hold dear?

Are you breathing right now?  Are you sure?  if you were to wake up tomorrow after that 8 hour death and find out there were infact no life to return to,would YOU be any different?  Do you cry out of pain or do you cry for attention?  What IS it to cry?....

Concerning the Death Penalty and Incarceration in General

You don't kill someone to teach them not to kill. You don’t call prison rehabilitation while being nothing but detrimental to said people, you dont lock up people for next to nothing, etc.Some people cant be saved, and yes locking them up for life is expensive, but not as expensive as youd think ( the average prisoner in the usa costs 90 cents a day to feed and house ) Humans change and redemption IS life, then again I'm a Buddhist.Some humans are in jail and do nothing but suffer, some take to the life, and thrive in jail, and enjoy life in their own way, is it punishment, whos to say, but in my mind youre average human can and will change, and what about all the people imprisoned and then found innocent years later?

if you kill them you cant take that back.  No to the death penalty, and on a personal note I think MOST, not all, MOST criminal activity should be taken from a psychological or economic standpoint, most these people are poor uneducated and angry for, obvious reasons, and should be treated as mentally ill and not criminal and evil, back any animal into a corner and it lashes out, that’s not to say that animal cant love and be loved, cant show compassion or understand it, etc.

We all love justification but my stance is, if you kill in need, lets say you are starving and you kill and eat an animal, you didnt kill it because you wanted to, infact if youre a “normal” person you probably felt a little bad.  if something is trying to kill you, you kill it out of instinct and feel bad later, thats justified.  If you’re in jail for like drug charges for 15 years and have to do violent things to survive, lets say you have to stab someone so youre not stabbed, etc, and time is added on, now youre in for 20 years, etc, that doesnt make you violent or bad, we all do what we have to do, when you take small time criminals and put them in the wolves den, yes they come out as wolves, repeat that process and eventually theyre such killers you need to kill them in some legal way, was it ever about them?

and at what point is the society held responsible?  In the west we’re very about the individual, as am I really, but push an individual enough and you shape him like clay, do you then get to judge the shape hes in, which youve created?  forget i said anything, talk about your favorite shows or, show you smokin a crack piple with your cleavage in the backround, i like that too....

When I was young, 7-13 maybe i fought at the drop of a hat.  then after a few random ass whoopings I found a slight fear, not that it stopped me.  At 30, I now have zero fear.  Thats not true really, it is so to say that at this point, i dont value life enough to fear losing it, and Im not a dangerous, or even a violent person, but in a way I am.  It scares me, this isnt me trying to be tough to an empty audience on my dead tumblr, this is a real musing.  My opponent scares me, any opponent, not because im afraid of them, but because im afraid of what ill do, of what I may become. 

As a child I would shake in conflicts, i would cry, and it was never fear, it was always the same emotion less articulated.  I’m a bit of a drunk as I’ve made clear, and i get into barfights often, something im neither ashamed nor proud of, but i will say I win usually not out of an unjustified sense of self worth, or that im that strong or smart ( which really im quite a bit of both ) but because i wont let anyone take anything from me, coming from and still having nothing.

People often give me shit for hating addicts or whatever, life is all about beating yourself, when you fear another, when you only think of blocking and not of attack you will never land a blow, if you fear another its because you dont fear yourself enough, others are of minimal consequence. 

Fear another and you lose yourself, fear yourself and you discover yourself, fear opposition in either forum and you lose, fear not, and you win, but you still lose, it comes down to if you want to die by another hand or by your own.

Fear no evil, but fear the evil in yourself

Jesus follow one meth barbie here and all they suggest is meth barbies, we get it, mommy didnt love you or daddy/uncle touched you when you were a kid, and now you smoke meth, and when you’re done smoking meth, you post pics of other people smoking meth, and thats just, as deep as your little pea brain goes.  How, stimulating.

A Scanner Darkly (2006; Richard Linklater)