Watching Childs Play, Playing As A Child

I dont have boobs so I have to win people over the hard way, you know, wit, and intelligence and, skills therein.  It’s not going so well...maybe if i change my tumblr name to tweakerbarbie people will love me.  The again MY dad hugged me so I dont need that daddy hug from strangers.  Hat off to the dumb sluts of tumblr, cant imagine why ya parents dont give a flying fuck about ya, have some more meth i mean you have a 7th grade education, surely your brain can handle the damage.

Who says Germans arent poetic

(via hrgiger-blog)

RIP America, You Won’t Be Missed

Once upon a time, Hitler took power in Germany and the German people backed him, under the guise of a work party to compensate lost jobs due to immigration, and we all know how THAT went.  The Germans, they took a long rich history of intelligent hard working people, and forever ruined their credibility thereafter.

When America elected trump, under the guise of immigrants ruining our welfare, and by improving our infrastructure somehow magically by creating more jobs no one wants and by building a wall on a border that’s nothing but underground drug tunnels,  we did the exact same thing, and when america fails and disappears, which it will, we will be a footnote in a book written in some new language, we'll go down as a short lived failed experiment of redneck morons, built on lies, genocide and slavery, and ending just as cartoony, and not soon enough.

I’m an American, a REAL American, none of this eagle bumpersticker love it or leave it horseshit, an American questions, an American doesn’t love it or leave it, he changes it through peaceful democratic means.  This whole heritage not hate shit is just that, shit, you don’t see Germans flying swastika flags for history.  No you’re neonazis and that’s why you elected trump, lets be honest now,  He said everything your ill-informed mind wanted to hear, you, much like him, researched none of the facts, he just said shit, and you just listened because it was what you wanted to hear, and now we as Americans have lost what LITTLE intellectual credibility we had in the world, and will probably get bombed from if not it, the domino effect thereafter.

The Buddhist in me would like to remind you: Everything is as it should be, and we live long enough to be enlightened enough to be dead for even longer, to be free of the suffering of need, by no longer having any needs.  Don’t cry when America is gone, don’t cry when anyones gone, you’re a child of the Earth and to the Earth you’ll return, anything else is Babylonian babble.  America....it was fun while it lasted, wasn’t it kids?

Dear rednecks/Appalachians, though you may be Irish/Scottish in descent you will never play a banjo as well as an Irishman, just accept it.  You’re the superior Opossum hunters still for sure...

When I was young, 7-13 maybe i fought at the drop of a hat.  then after a few random ass whoopings I found a slight fear, not that it stopped me.  At 30, I now have zero fear.  Thats not true really, it is so to say that at this point, i dont value life enough to fear losing it, and Im not a dangerous, or even a violent person, but in a way I am.  It scares me, this isnt me trying to be tough to an empty audience on my dead tumblr, this is a real musing.  My opponent scares me, any opponent, not because im afraid of them, but because im afraid of what ill do, of what I may become. 

As a child I would shake in conflicts, i would cry, and it was never fear, it was always the same emotion less articulated.  I’m a bit of a drunk as I’ve made clear, and i get into barfights often, something im neither ashamed nor proud of, but i will say I win usually not out of an unjustified sense of self worth, or that im that strong or smart ( which really im quite a bit of both ) but because i wont let anyone take anything from me, coming from and still having nothing.

People often give me shit for hating addicts or whatever, life is all about beating yourself, when you fear another, when you only think of blocking and not of attack you will never land a blow, if you fear another its because you dont fear yourself enough, others are of minimal consequence. 

Fear another and you lose yourself, fear yourself and you discover yourself, fear opposition in either forum and you lose, fear not, and you win, but you still lose, it comes down to if you want to die by another hand or by your own.

Fear no evil, but fear the evil in yourself

You’re not a bad person for the ways you tried to kill your sadness.

(via dignitea)

Ive said it a million times, and like all my thoughts they are either ignored or chalked up to me being an asshole, asshole is an easier title than " mind set i cant fully understand " humans love a witch hunt but...

12 step programs will never work, their very basis implies that you are too stupid and weak to fix your life and you need some random theological third party, and a contact book of sponsors to stop yourself.  When you relinquish power to a higher power, you assume no responsibility, you assume no control, and whats left of your will power flutters away.

Much like a confessional in church, you then fix nothing about yourself, bottle shit up til it explodes and then apologize on sunday to a sponsor who will do nothing but tell you it isnt your fault and that your struggle is in jesus' hands or, whatever.  If you take this approach, you will always be a junky, whatever the substance, heroin, alcohol, sex, whatever.  You are nothing but your mind, the whole world is processed and interpreted through your mind, if your mind never changes, if you relinquish responsibility, you will always see the same world, because the world is what it is, its just how you feel about what it is that changes your perception.

I may be an asshole, but atleast im not a victim.