Reblog If You’re Bisexual, Support Bisexuals, Or Want All Racists Dead

*My mom stressing because she made a mistake once*

Me: It's fine. Shit happens. You'll do better next time. Everyone makes mistakes.

*Me stressing out because I made a mistake*

My mom: You little shit.

I still don't get how the whole "Shut up" "Make me." conversation is supposed to be sexual?

I always thought they would start a fist fight not a make out session?

So my dad was in my room and forgot to close the door, as always, and I wanted to close it but the ghost in my room did it for me then.

What do we learn? Not all ghosts are bad or whatever and dads should learn how to close doors.

How to handle a dumbass brother;

1. Ignore him when he's annoying you. Soon he will get bored.

2. He's still annoying you? Stab him.

Me: *has phone phobia*

My parents: You're on phone duty.

Me:

Loki: so how’s the prettiest person in the galaxy doing?

You: *barley spares a glance*

You: *casually* I don’t know, how are you?

Loki:

Loki: *voice cracks* I’m fine

Just because the show is over doesn't mean I'm over it

Adam: I like my coffee like I like my men.

Adam: Hot and bitterly depressed.

Everyone: *looks at shiro who just smiles with the hollownes of being dead inside and sweats*

It’s 3:00 in the morning where I am…

My mom: Gosh, you should read more often.

Me: *defensively* I read!

My mom: Really? What do you read?

My brain: Fluffy gay porn about fictional characters.

Me: Uhh… literature?