The Very First Step Of Getting Over Your Fears Is To Have Them. Just Like The First Step To Getting Better

I really really regret all m mistakes last year....all I needed was someone to help me out .....all I needed was a hug ......all I really needed was someone to listen to me without judging and to explain things that are common sense for people. I know I can still do it though but I'm still alone. I feel like im always alone

Who the fuck are you? I literally eat so freaking less like you always complain to me and the everyone. So if once in a while I ask you to make something else for me and it's not difficult at all it's easy and simple. You remind of the fact that I don't get good grades . You fucking bitch if I knew I needed good grades to eat food you should have told me . You freaking psycho. I hate you and the only reason I'll study is to go away from you. I am not happy with you as parent and honestly I do wish someone else someone with a better mindset to be my parent.....I suppose my dad makes up for it ....I respect him but never you........never you because everything you have done just makes me hate you even more. It's always you who always makes me cry and honestly if you think that your only threat which is papa ko bta dungi then theek hai bitch bta do.....I respect him but honestly at this I get scolded by you so much that it has made me numb yo it toh theek kha lungi mai unseen nhi daant tujhse toh vaise bhi kya hi rho hoon. Aur teri awaaj I freaking the fucking tone you always speak in. If you can never understand me then atleast dont fuck up my mental peace and mindset by your fucking stupid and "dump" views.

The success you've been looking for is hidden in the work you've been avoiding. The life you want for yourself is literally waiting on you, you just have to put in the work first. Read that again.

If you hang out with a…

Disciplined person, you’ll start respecting structure

Insecure person, you’ll start second-guessing yourself

Adventurous person, you’ll crave new experiences

Victim minded person, you’ll start blaming instead of growing

Abundant person, you’ll stop thinking in limits

Jealous person, you’ll start resenting your blessings

High value woman, you’ll raise your standards without apologo

Chaotic person, you’ll feel like peace is boring

Healed person, you’ll see how emotionally mature life can be

Procrastinator, you’ll normalize delay over progress

Ambitious person, you’ll start dreaming bigger

Judgmental person, you’ll fear being fully yourself

Playful person, you’ll learn to soften and enjoy the moment

Energy is contagious

Habits are contagious

Mindsets are contagious

Doesn’t matter how x you think you are because if you were, you wouldn’t make decisions or choose people that don’t align

You become who you’re around even when you don’t notice it

Just a reminder to all the people self sabotaging themselves

Growing up is actually all about realizing people don’t inherently dislike you and it’s a bit odd to assume they do

Dear self,

Snap the FUCK out of it.STOP. literally searching for a reason to be upset. Remind yourself of your blessings , you have everything you need. Change your perspective

Love,

Me

Ps. I love you

I just had my retest today and I would like to thank God , because I passed my retest. Thank you so much god for listening to me. I promise this session I am gonna aim for 96%. I am going to study consistently everyday. I am going to prove it to myself that I can do it. All the mistakes I made in 11th, I'm gonna correct them now. I would just like to retell myself that it's never too late to correct your mistakes or it's ever too late to start studying. You can do it. All the best

(And yes, I'll keep updating..)

It's easier for my parents to say, speak up more in class, ask more, stop acting dumb but it's just sad that they never thought why I have turned into a very quiet person when once I was known as a chatterbox..... as a kid during PTM, the teacher used to complain that I talk too much but now my teachers say that I don't talk at all. It's sad that my parents never questioned me on this 180 change in behavior

If you're friends with a judgemental person you'll truly fear being yourself...

I read this in a tumblr post and I can relate to this. My friend was so smart(she still is) she was good at studies and at playing piano and whenever I used to go with her to learn to play piano I used to feel so inferior because she used to judge me unashamedly infront of me and laugh at the smallest of my mistakes. She was my best friend and I could never connect with her on a personal level. Never. she had confessed many things to me and i had always helped her but i never really confessed any of my fear or my core problems . I really felt inferior subtly always and when it used to be very profound I used to fight back but it always used to go to the previous way of her always making me feel subtly inferior .

Today she ignored me cuz I spent time with one of my other friend instead of her and honestly even though her advices were great and that she was smart I am just done going back to her and give her reasons on why I spent time with that friend instead of her.

Like we were friends no not just friends but best friends for 3 years but I can not just let her lord over me. I am already trying to cope up with my increasing backlogs . I really don't want to deal with her. If she wants to ignore then it's fine I'm ignoring her back. I don't have to deal with her it's my choice.

I know I'll miss her but I'll never regret this decision cuz she cant manipulate me by ignoring me and I know even if I still go back to her I'll feel inferior to her and I dont want to experience that.

I cried today.