Me Trying To Work Out After Eating Like An Actual Animal For 7 Months

I have a boyfriend since a month now and I slept over at his place from Friday to Sunday and my parents were super mad because we only talked about staying from Friday to Saturday and I betrayed my family and chose his family instead. They also said that I have to move out, they will sell the house and go to Italy (that part was definitely exaggerated) but I don't think they were lying when they said I have to move out til Friday. Like bro. I am not able to move out like from what money lmao. I am so scared they will throw me out. They threatened to do that before and now they added that they threw out my stepbrother (he is 30 now) a few years ago I can't remember how old he was then. I just want to spend time with my bf because he makes me feel like there's nothing wrong. When I'm with him I don't have to think about how bad I want to d word and how shitty everything is and how shitty I feel all the time. When I'm with him everything bad is just gone. We don't know each other for that long so I'm not sure if it is because I'm not too comfortable with showing my emotions but I legit cried in front of him because of a movie (more than once actually) and I didn't feel bad for crying in front of him.

I can hear my parents talk in the living room and I am getting so nervous because I just assume that every time I hear them speak they are talking about me. I don't want to be home but I don't want to be anywhere else but my room. Why does everything always have to be so complicated

✨ reblog if ✨

You have an eating disorder but it doesn’t look like you do.

all I think about is calories yet that doesn't stop me from stuffing my fat face

Currently 2 of my former friends (I don't consider us to be close because we don't talk anymore lol) posted these on insta and they're both super skinny like every time I would see them in our former school I would be so jealous and only stare at their legs and the way they moved. They always seemed so light and carefree.

At work there's a woman even skinnier than them and every time she walks by I also get super jealous. Everyone around me just seems to have their shit together and then I'm over here lying in bed doing absolutely nothing except disappointing my parents with every second that passes, stuffing my fat face at home and also at work. Like can you imagine that I just go to the store on the opposite side of my workplace and buy stuff that together has over 1000 calories

I don't feel like I'm made for life. I am constantly stressed and anxious because of ✨𝓵𝓲𝓯𝓮✨ especially when it comes to applying for shit like wtf I don't have any special qualities at all. why you should hire me instead of others? bro idk. I'm bad at everything I don't know anything alright lmao. I just wish I could end myself

Therapists aren’t people who you “pay to pretend to care about you”, therapists are people you pay to teach you how to care for yourself

Back here once again but my dash is dead :(

I hate that eating disorders are romantized and glamourized

i can't stop eating. i hate myself

I'm not crying you are 🥺

actually you will not enjoy hearing this but you literally have to abandon your self deprecating humor. besides the fact that it can drive people away you literally are only hurting yourself by constantly making jokes that further cement the idea in your head that you are not good enough. I do not care that you think its a good coping mechanism it is absolutely not and you need to start challenging negative thoughts instead of feeding into them.