part one here. ze part two to touch-starved stevie that absolutely no one requested hehe <3 but i gots to let my boys have a wee kiss :")
So, hugs with Eddie become… well, a thing.
Not a thing. They’re not a thing, Steve and Eddie. It’s totally the same as when he gets hugs from Robin. Eddie’s doing him a favour as a friend. It’s got the 100% platonic energy of getting a hug from a friend — a hug that usually melts into some form of a cuddle, limbs all tangled together until they can’t tell whose are whose.
Except, Steve doesn’t really do that second part with Robin. Like he hasn’t done it ever with Robin.
So, it’s an Eddie thing.
But they’re not a thing. Not matter how much Steve would actually very much like for that happen. Okay, maybe Steve’s overthinking the whole thing a bit, but he just can’t tell.
Where’s the line? It’s infuriating not being able to discern between platonic and more, just because Steve wasn’t held enough as a fucking baby. Out of all the things he resents his parents for, Steve’s surprised that this is so near the top.
Because, sure, Steve’s had more than his fair share of hookups. He knows that sort of touch. He knows the shape of lust; the scrapes of fingernails down backs, the tight grips over skin, the push and pull of the heat of the moment.
And this thing with Eddie… is not that.
So, really, Steve knows that it’s all friendly. Eddie is just being nice. He’s being a decent dude and helping his friend out — by catapulting himself into Steve’s arms at every opportune moment.
(Steve’s only dropped 3 mugs of coffee because of this so far. It’s only because Eddie says good catch, big boy with a devilish grin every time that Steve manages to catch Eddie that Steve hasn’t completely told him to knock it off. Just yet, at least.)
And he’s different in other areas. He’ll always seem to choose the seat next to Steve on movie-nights now, content to snuggle right up to him. They get thigh to thigh, arm to arm — and Eddie only needs to get about 20 minutes in for him to do a big sigh, like an old dog, and slump over, resting his head on Steve’s shoulder.
Steve notices though. He always notices.
It’s impossible not to— the skin, even if there’s 3 layers between them, burns blazing warm. Eddie’s hair drapes over his arm, a curl inevitably tickling along Steve’s collar. He can feel the rise and fall of Eddie’s breathing, the little shake of when he laughs.
It drives Steve a little insane— insane in the way that makes him think about burying his fingers in those curls again, about pressing his lips against Eddie’s pretty mouth just to feel the smile against his skin, about digging into his chest so he can climb into his chest and live there.
Yeah, it’s— well, it’s safe to say that the effect of Eddie’s touchiness has sent what was once a fleeting thought of a crush into mind-melting levels of affection.
But he can’t fucking tell.
-
To Steve’s credit, neither can Eddie.
Which is not surprisingly considering sometimes he catches himself wondering how the hell he ended up here; in a close-knit friendship with band-geek Robin Buckley, princess Nancy Wheeler, and King Steve Harrington.
Okay, the Robin one sort of makes sense. He thinks that if no matter when their paths crossed, he and Robin would’ve always even some sort of strange friends - her snark complimenting his bitchiness. Also, the whole super queer thing helps too. Even the friendship with Nancy works, in its own weird way.
Steve though? He’s the fucking curve ball.
It works though, the two of them. Surprisingly well, actually — the two of them get on like a house on fire, bitchy quips back and forth. Even better, is the quiet that they can share. Steve loves to come around and do… nothing. Do nothing with Eddie, though.
So, even though Eddie had noticed the tension in Steve with touch, little moments where he turned rigid when Eddie’s usual wandering hands got too comfortable — Eddie chalked it up to the usual. Guys bring too uncomfortable with him, too weird about another guy being touchy. It didn’t matter than Eddie wasn’t even out to Steve yet, he was still might be that type of guy.
Well, Eddie had certainly thought so. Sure, Steve might not be one of those jocks who smacked around boys who looked too long in the locker room, but if he knew a smidge of the truth, who really knows. It would explain the tenseness at least.
But then— ‘Can I… have a hug?’ There had been a dozen things Eddie was thinking that Steve could’ve asked for but that? Wasn’t even in the ballpark. It was so left-field it left Eddie speechless for a whole moment. And Steve had been staring at the ceiling, his hands curled up tight again like- like he thought Eddie might say no.
A ridiculous thought, honestly. Anyone who knew Eddie well enough knew he was touchy; loved giving it, loved getting it. Like an overly affectionate cat, Wayne had once called him, just 11 years old, because Eddie’s need for affection seem to never be sated.
After that night, Steve’s lack of touch became far more obvious. It’s always hair ruffles or high-fives, yet never hugs. Normally, Eddie would keep to that boundary; some people are less touchy other than others, he knows that.
But… “Sometimes I realise it’s been awhile, since I’ve had some touch.” That’s what Steve had said, his words. Eddie doesn’t even think he meant to say something so heartbreaking. In fact, the guy seemed embarrassed.
It had thrown Eddie for a loop— because Steve gets around. He’s nearly notorious for one-night stands and failed flings, as Robin loves to drone on about considering she’s subjected to all the flirting. What had originally been a point of envy for Eddie, just saturates the bleakness of Steve’s words. Sex but without a moment of intimacy.
So, while Eddie is miles away from being the person who gets into Steve’s pants — not for lack of want, mind you — he does try hike up the touchiness. Little things. Lingering when he taps him on the arm, hooking his chin over Steve’s shoulder to peer over it, leaning up against him when they’re side by side watching a film.
It’s good. It helps Eddie release the pressure of his stupid monumental god-awful crush he has. Yeah, yeah, it’s laughable, even to Eddie. It’s like Gay 101; don’t get crush on straight dudes, especially the ones you’re friends with. And yet…
Steve lets him. He lets Eddie give him touch, more than he lets anyone else. He still tenses; there’s still always a moment before he can remember to relax, like he’s trying to shake off bad thoughts but then he melts. He always melts into Eddie’s touch eventually — in a way Eddie knows Steve actually loves it, drinks it up as much as he can.
And maybe, Eddie is the biggest fool to grace the Earth to let that fact give him some hope. Sue his gooey heart, he’s a romantic. It’s a quiet hope but, it’s there.
Tonight, it seems relaxing for Steve is been harder than usual— several times has Eddie traced a quite long along Steve’s arms, a subtle point that they were far too tense for someone who was wrapped up in cuddles on the couch. ‘Cos that’s 100% what they are now. Eddie will still call them hugs, but usually, when it’s just the two of them, it becomes this.
Steve, tucked up into the corner of the couch, one leg flush along the back of the couch and one hanging off the edge. It’s the prime position for Eddie to crawl up, wind his arms around Steve’s middle and give him a good squeeze and then settle there. Head on Steve’s chest, lying in the cradle of his hips. Safe. Warm.
It makes him warm, oh very warm to know that he gets this. That Steve doesn’t give this amount of trust to many, if any, other people but Eddie — he trusts Eddie.
“Y’know,” Eddie says, cheeks smushed against the plain of Steve’s pec. It feels deliciously warm and Eddie’s fairly sure he can feel how toned it is just through his cheek. Hot bastard. “I’m actually real glad you asked for that hug all those weeks ago.”
He leaves it there ‘cos he knows Steve will ask. Eddie’s eyes stay on the buzzing tv-screen even as Steve’s head shifts, turning to peer down at the boy slumped on his chest. Eddie’s pretty sure he can see Steve’s mouth twitch up into a smile.
“Yeah?”
“Oh yeah,” Eddie affirms, giving a nod and his eyes flick up to meet Steve’s for just a moment. “Think I’ve had some of the best hugs in the world.”
Okay, that was maybe more honest and sappy than Eddie was going for. He is just letting Steve know he isn’t just doing it for Steve — that he enjoys these moments just as much. He lays it on thick, tries for a smarmy angle.
“Swept up in these pillowy arms?” He croons, giving Steve’s bicep a quick squeeze, making the other chuckle softly. “Who wouldn’t think so? I’m a lucky guy.”
Despite the joking tone, there’s no quick comeback from Steve. That’s alright. Eddie’s quite happy if this is one of the times Steve just takes the compliment; let’s the word sink in and hopefully, believes them, even if it’s just a little bit. He watches the film and doesn’t read into the silence.
Not even when Steve says, “Eddie?” all soft. Nearly shy sounding. It doesn’t quite register to Eddie’s ears.
“Mm?”
“Eddie.” Steve says again, a little firmer and that catches Eddie’s attention. He turns his head and rests his chin on Steve’s chest, his brows drawn together in silent question.
But the moment he makes eye contact, Steve’s doing that scrunched up face again. Is studying the ceiling instead of facing Eddie. And just like all those weeks ago, his hands clench up tight. Twists up the fabric of Eddie’s sweater in between his fingers and uses it to ground himself.
Last time, he asked for a hug. Considering he’s currently just about squishing Steve beneath his body weight, Eddie can’t fathom what he might be worked up to ask for. Unless he was going to ask for something more than a hug— which, well, just wasn’t going to happen, even if Eddie really wanted it to.
“Can I-” Steve starts. He sucks in a breath, almost like he’s gathering courage. But he’s not, because he’s not about to ask for what Eddie hopes for, he’s not, he’s—
Unless…?
“Can I… have a kiss?” Steve asks, barely audible. The sentence is murmured, soft words that hit Eddie like a gentle kiss in itself — imprinting right onto his heart. Steve Harrington wants a kiss — from him!
“Oh.” Eddie says, in a breathy delightful way. He’s fairly certain the little monkey in his brain is clapping its cymbals at double-speed as the words process; or maybe it’s his heart, which feels like it’s leapt up his throat.
“Oh?” Steve echoes, a smile already playing at the edges of his mouth, because he can see Eddie’s want. Because he knows him.
“Yes.” Eddie says suddenly, with a frantic nod, pushing up closer so their faces are aligned. “Yes, absolutely, you can.” He affirms.
Steve huffs a quiet laugh at the eagerness and then his arm that had been slung around Eddie shifts. It moves up til his hand caresses along the line of Eddie’s jaw, tilting him just how he likes.
Eddie holds his breath. Counts the freckles he can see this close. Tries to feel Steve’s heartbeat through where they’re pressed so closely together; can Steve feel his? Thundering and hurried, beating so hard Eddie thinks he might bruise the inside of his ribs.
Then Steve kisses him. And shit, Steve’s lip are better by ten-fold than every daydream Eddie’s ever had about them. They’re warm and so soft — plush and pressing against his own and Eddie is freezing. Fuck, wait, how does this go again? Right, Eddie’s never… well, kissed anybody before.
Steve pulls back and Eddie screws his eyes up — not ready in the slightest for the disappointment of his own shoddy kissing skills. Fuck, did he really just freeze? Steve — Steve Harrington — asks for a kiss and Eddie decides to stab himself in the back by not figuring out how to fuck to kiss back.
“You call that a kiss?” Steve teases and Eddie’s well aware of the parallel — of the irony of Steve repeating his own words back at him. But he can’t make himself laugh even though it’s funny. Instead, a little groan wiggles out his throat.
“I’m sorry,” Eddie says, earnest. He forces his eyes opens — he needs to see what’s Steve’s thinking. Where he’s expecting disappointment or perhaps regret, is only patience. Maybe a touch of concern. Eddie continues, despite the humiliation that makes his throat sticky.
“I haven’t- I don’t do this often.” He coughs awkwardly clearing his throat and hoping it hides the next word. “Ever.”
There’s a jump in Steve’s eyebrows, a moment of surprise in his eyes that lets him know he did, indeed, hear that final word. It makes Eddie feel… well, it’s nice that Steve had expected him to have been kissed by now. Even if he hasn’t. He tries to take it as a compliment.
“That’s okay,” Steve assures. Absentmindedly, his thumb rubs soothing along Eddie’s jaw. It makes Eddie shiver, some outrageous amount of joy clawing into every nerve. Steve likes Eddie. He wants to kiss Eddie.
“Do you want to try again?”
Eddie nods before the questions even out of his mouth. Steve smiles, all sunshine. This time when he draws Eddie in, he notices the way Eddie holds his breath — the rigidness in his body.
Steve kisses him again, another short and soft one and then whispers against his lips, “Relax.”
‘Cos isn’t tonight just full of the parallels, Eddie thinks. He listens, tries to focus on how sweet Steve’s kiss is than his panicky heart, forcing out a breath between the kisses. His hands along Steve’s sides find a grip, grounding and good, and by the fourth kiss, he begins to feel a bit melty.
It’s good. It’s really good. Kissing Steve is top 5– nay, the top moment of his life so far. Somehow, it’s made all that much better knowing the build-up behind it. Knowing that Steve knows he isn’t just kissing him for a heat of the moment — that Eddie wants kisses here, kisses before bed, in the morning, on dates. Eddie wants Steve.
And with the way he kisses, Eddie’s pretty sure Steve wants him just as bad.
It doesn’t take long for Steve to reach what Eddie decides is an ultra pretty fuckin’ state; lips swollen from kisses, cheeks flushed, hair a little mussed up. He bets he looks no better. The thought makes him grin, enough they have to break the kiss ‘cos Eddie can’t stop his stupid happy grin ‘cos shit— he actually gets to have this Steve.
“What?” Steve asks, somehow half heart-eyed and half suspicious at the mischief in Eddie’s eyes.
“Can I... have a hickie?”
now with a part three !
I’m gonna say this ONCE MORE with feeling because somehow it’s still a surprise to people apparently...
I am a proshipper.
All that means is that I do not support (and will actively fight against) judgment, censorship, or bullying over fictional content. It does not mean I condone immoral things being done in real life. In fact, it means the opposite— that I will never harass real people over fictional content or allow threats or suicide bating to occur because of it.
If anyone has told you that proshipping is something else, you’ve been lied to. You do not have to read/write/draw dark content in order to be an adult and curate your space. If you don’t enjoy a specific thing, you filter/block/move on without calling anyone names or accusing them of being a horrible human being. It is that simple.
Censorship of immoral content is a slippery slope and has historically been used to hurt the LGBT+ community. Don’t buy into the idea that erasing things you dislike is a better solution than just choosing to look away if something doesn’t appeal to you.
I’m not even going to go into the argument of people using this sort of content to cope with trauma because nobody has to prove anything or have a reason for engaging with fiction, but maybe hold off on assuming you know why anyone chooses to engage with something others might find disturbing.
I’ve read hardcore dead dove fics that are less disturbing than things I’ve experienced in my actual life. Nobody gets to tell me how to cope and heal, thanks💛
My Family
The Beginning of the Crisis
Daily Challenges
hope and Prayer
A Call to Humanity
Thank you,
This is Rafah, The "safe" zone, where 1.5 million Palestinian fled to. You have to understand, what bombing Rafah means.
Please don't look away, while everybody is busy watching the super bowl, Israel commits one of its most deadly and openly genocidal attacks on Rafah. Please don't look away.
one thing about gravity falls that i didn't realize until the book of bill brought it up again and added some more details to it is that..... the zodiac prophecy failed. the thing that the entire show has been quietly leading up to since the first time we saw the title screen, and it didn't do anything. they came close! maybe they COULD have defeated bill right there in that spraypaint circle! but it failed all because of a petty argument between stan and ford
and the thing is, yeah, that's BELIEVABLE. it makes sense for something that stupid to get in the way of an ancient prophecy, because it was an unpredictable human mistake. even bill was surprised! maybe all the prophecy required was for those people to be in the same room. maybe it was just a basic premonition to set the stage
what ACTUALLY defeated bill was stan and ford working together for the first time in decades. it was out of necessity, but it was still a sacrifice, and they both had to agree to it for it to work. plus, they only had time to pull it off in the first place thanks to dipper and mabel's teamwork
but it all comes full circle - everything began and ended with stan and ford. and it worked because even the universe couldn't predict it
"I want to live in a world in which teenagers can fulfil their natural purpose of being annoying" and "I do not always want to be annoyed by the teenagers" are compatible sentiments
zukka au where aunt wu looks straight at sokka and instead of telling him that his future is full of pain and anguish caused by his own hand, she tells him that he’s going to marry the fire lord and sokka is like “EXCUSE ME?”
researcher!satoru whose field is theoretical physics and talks about quantum mechanics and cosmology like it's the most common thing in the world
researcher!satoru who, despite his young age, is absolutely brilliant at his job and is fascinated by boundaries (or the lack of them) and is known for making sarcastic remarks in high-level conferences and sassing other scientists for fun by proving them wrong in the most dramatic way possible
researcher!satoru whose recent work involves quantum signatures on black holes and is invited to the annual summit on theoretical astrophysics and quantum mechanics as a prestigious exhibitor and doesn't have any particular interest besides exposing his research and then leaving
researcher!satoru who met you while you were posing with your first poster ever about anisotropic signal and black holes activity, which was your undergraduate thesis work and your first publication of your rising career as a scientist
researcher!satoru who immediately thought of you as someone particularly too cute for your own good, all nervous and still in that university hall in between all the other thesis students presenting their papers
researcher!satoru who accidentally stumbles to take a look at your poster, his six feet tall bending over to read with luxury of detail every line and graph, not bothering to occupy his space and make his presence seen
researcher!satoru who chuckles at your evident nervousness and looks at you through his tinted glasses, your bambi eyes betraying how wrecked you were for talking about your research to THE satoru gojo
researcher!satoru who, despite his usual genius demeanor, this time actually listens, asks questions about your thesis, and even seems impressed at how well you manage the topic. from seeing him from afar like someone who scared anyone with his doubts and remarks, suddenly he didn't seem so appalling, but appealing instead
researcher!satoru who subtly takes mental notes of your name and contact info on your poster and stalks you shamelessly when he's finally alone in the coziness of his fancy hotel room, craving to know more about his intriguing soon-to-be-colleague
researcher!satoru who reaches out to you and sends lots of emails with questions, suggestions, and even contacts that, according to him, might help you in the future. all of that just to have something to talk about and keep you entertained in his orbit
researcher!satoru who's so obsessed with you that for the next big conference, finds out you'd show up again-- this time with an oral presentation of your increasingly refined thesis—, and with that being an opportunity that couldn't be missed, he flew all across the country just to see you (his own attendance lowering to second-grade importance compared to the desire to meeting you again)
researcher!satoru who claims you and takes you with him as soon as he sees you, not wanting you to talk to anyone besides him. why would you need all those people? you have plenty of time to chat with them later, but god knows when you will see each other again, can't you see?
researcher!satoru who pities you when you admitted you were on the border of a nervous crisis for having to, basically, lecture renowned scientists about their literal research field, but with totally new knowledge because it was something you brought into the world
researcher!satoru who swears has a secret to release your nerves and dispel any anxiety or discomfort before public speaking and convinces you to accompany him
researcher!satoru who subtly takes your hand in his and takes you to the restrooms of the building, making you wonder what type of secret he was talking about
researcher!satoru who put the door on the latch after making sure you two were alone and now is so dangerously close to you that he admits how crazy you're driving him for finally having you all to himself
researcher!satoru who kindly asks if you'd let him show him how much he wants you and his eyes sparkle when you consent because you know you want him too and you want him bad
researcher!satoru who takes you by the strap of your credential, bringing you closer and closing his soft lips with yours, exploring your silhouette with his hands with smitten eagerness
researcher!satoru who pins you against the nearest wall and lowers one of his hands to make contact with your crotch, slowly teasing the hem of your undies and parting your folds slenderly while he is getting even more nervous to make you feel good. did he really get more nervous than you were at first?
researcher!satoru who whispers in your ear how good he's going to fuck the nervousness away from you, promising it'll work
researcher!satoru who spreads your legs a bit wider so he can pump his fingers in and out of you, your arousal and muffled whimpers making him groan into your mouth, giving you tender kisses on your cheeks, forehead, lips, neck, and everywhere he could reach.
researcher!satoru who lets you hold onto his broad shoulders while he quickly makes you cum on his fingers, adrenaline rushing through your blood because what would happen if someone tried to open the door right now?
researcher!satoru who helps you adjust your clothes before you go back to the main hall, just in time for your presentation, winking at you right before letting you leave the bathroom
researcher!satoru who follows after you to see your pitch, and kindly congratulates you on his social media after your oral presentation saying how you nailed it and how promising your line of work was (something he never did)
researcher!satoru who insists on keeping in touch because there was definitely something else happening in between and he wanted to do something about his feelings (and is the happiest when you reciprocate)
researcher!satoru who, hours after, absolutely denies the possibility of stealing your panties when you told him you lost them after your meeting at the restroom (while secretly saving them under his pillow to play with at night)
researcher!satoru who, the next day, invites you to collaborate on a research project with him and you just know he'll be the death to you anytime soon
went to this congress the other day and had this silly vision :3 Y'ALL HEAR ME OUT