The Thing Is, We’re Screw-ups. I Don’t Even Know Why We Still Stick With Each Other. Maybe Because

ask me if i'm fine. i promise i'll say i'm okay as long as i hear your voice

Music Volume 8.1.12.1

a.k.a. The eight tracks of my life when it comes to you

(1) A recurring dream: you say to me, “It’s always been you. It’ll always be you.” Sometimes, with your mouth; soft bubbles came out of those lips, eyes shaking as if you were afraid that I won’t ever get to know; so I believed it was true. Sometimes, in a note; written in a hurry, tugging all of my fingers and pressing it onto me like a sacred promise; so I believed it won’t be broken.

(2) But I wake up, breathless and sweating, soulless and aching, and... you weren’t here.

(3) When I sit down for a minute and ponder about my decisions, I come back to those times when we have conversations past midnight. I would remember you looking at me like I were a secret you still kept, still deciding if you would let go or keep hold of. Those gentle touches in the soft light, more tender than everything illuminated by the moon.

(4) I wish I would have done something. Anything.

(5) Yet, you’re still a smoke that keeps on dancing through my nostrils I am yet to get out of my system.

(6) I used to love the first few times when you starred in my dreams. But ever since you closed your eyes each time I start to tremble out your name from my lips, I stopped wondering about the crinkles by your eyes. I stopped trying to miss the way you laugh, stopped trying to make you laugh. I stopped whispering prayers. I stopped altogether.

(7) At some nights, I don’t want to sleep anymore; I’m tired of sleeping. I’ll keep having dreams of you anyway. And I’ll keep having dreams of you anyway even if I’m awake.

(8) A recurring thought: I’ll ask you, “Will I keep holding on? Should I still love you?” I’ll ask you if ever get the chance.

LEE KNOW for BEAUTY+

things you don’t know: if he loves you back you think he might

P.J.Q.

“It’s true, you’re beautiful.”

— don’t... please...

(eusie.)

e.e. cummings, from “because it’s Spring” (in 73 Poems), Complete Poems: 1904-1962

im sorry if my writings are not full of feelings. ill stop. okay

Do you think the universe fights for souls to be together? Some things are too strange and strong to be coincidences.

Emery Allen

Here’s to someone, pt. 3

Dear (h    n),

You should know by now that this is about you

But if you’re not in love with me too then I doubt that you do

There were no fireworks or violins playing beautifully the heaven didn’t open its gates and set out its angels to sing love songs

No when my eyes first landed on yours I got stranded on the crooked smile on your lips and on the calm sea surrounding you

I think that’s when I realize that I might end up sinking that I might end up drowning

And I didn’t know if I should be afraid

But this feeling this magical feeling each time I saw the sparkle in your eyes when I glanced at you

But this feeling

I knew it won’t run away from me but stay and hide in each of my veins and my heart will explode with this feeling of you with this feeling of wanting you

I knew I knew I would fall for you

The second time my eyes landed on you the crooked smile was back but the calm sea was now a storm

And I was already sinking

And and and then

You said my name

I think that’s when I realize that I might end up drowning next

And I still didn’t know if I should be afraid

But this feeling this magical feeling was still there each time I saw the sparkle in your eyes when I glanced at you and as if you stitched my soul my heart craved and craved for your attention and for you to say my name again

But this feeling

I knew it won’t run away from me and my heart will explode from every word escaping your lips each time you speak to me with every hair on my skin you lit up each time you smile at me my heart will definitely explode with this feeling of you with this feeling of wanting you more

I knew I knew I was falling for you

The third time my eyes landed on you

I, I, I

I think I was already crazy but there were fireworks there were violins playing on the background and the heaven opened its gates to let the angels sing their love songs

And with the clouds smiling at me and the wind whispering a happy melody

I got stranded I sank

And I definitely was drowning and already falling

And I wasn’t afraid

Because this feeling this magical feeling did not run away from me and my heart will continue to explode with this feeling of you with this feeling of wanting you endlessly

I love you I love you I’m in love with you

And you should know by now that this is about you

But if you’re not in love with me too then I doubt that you do

Yours sincerely,

(eusie.)

Look and you'll see

a.k.a. I’ll try to write about you one more time ft. Love is…

Your eyes speak of daydreams turned into wishful thoughts that keep me awake at night; like perfectly made snowflakes that’ll tickle my nose as they fall, only they slip away from my skin. The way you breathe is like a memory I cannot remember to forget. And sometimes, I can’t believe myself, that I feel every move of the air surrounding you like how I feel your every existence — your presence within my radius. But know this: I’ll never get to see if your heart rages out of your ribcage as our eyes meet, or get to know if you deny the urge to create chaos inside your lungs once you realize I’m standing near you. Because I don’t know if I’m the only one who doesn’t try to ignore the cry of our souls, or maybe it’s really just me who feels like crying. You look like a falling star, only I’m the one who’s falling and I’m full of wishes about you. And know this: sometimes love is never having what you want like how I can’t have you. In the end, time is the only one I trust to blow me away from the havoc inside my head created by you.

(eusie.)