Chainsaw Man X The Thing

Jason: *goes to the family dinner

Still Jason: *refuses to sit in the same table with everyone

for his 10.10 birthday lololol

i'm back btw, i changed my phone so tumblr was deleted and i forgot about reinstall it until now

Cyno: I think I have ligma

Tighnari: What’s ligma?

Cyno: LIGMA BALLS!!! So basically, let me explain. Ligma isn’t a real disease or a real word but it sounds like one. So it’s like an easy way to get someone to ask “what’s ligma” because it sounds like you have a disease or illness. So then when someone asks you say “ligma balls” (which phonetically sounds like “lick my balls”) it’s easy to lure someone into a funny joke and then it insinuates that they want to lick YOUR balls. So this is pretty hilarious on a multitude of levels. Firstly, (obviously) the other person doesn’t want to lick your balls, so it’s funny that you made them say something which demonstrates their desire to lick your balls when they in fact do not want to lick your balls. Secondly, it’s onomatopoeic, almost an onomatopoeic pun, so it’s pretty funny that “ligma” is phonetically interchangeable with “lick my”, at least in an certain accents. It may be difficult to achieve the same result with different accents, as some accents will hard pronounce the “ck” whereas others will omit the “ck” into a “g” sound, taking slang and cultural pronunciations into account, resulting in “ligma” instead of “lick my”. This makes it easy to fool those who are used to “g” pronunciations as a replacement for the “ck” plosive, or other variances. Do you get it?

Roy, sweating: So, uh, I wanted to ask you-

Riza: Oh FINALLY, you’re proposing!

Roy: What- how did you know?!

Riza: You dropped the ring six times during dinner.

Roy:

Riza: I even had to pick it up once.

buddy brothers

Hi I just want to recommend a very good romance webcomic to my mutuals. It's called I Can't Be This Stupid or He Can't Be This Dumb. It's finished and you can read it on Tapas (or illegally cough). I really love that the main couple has COMMUNICATION. ISTG A LOT OF ROMANCE WEBTOONS DON'T HAVE THIS. I mean there is still conflict but not to the point where you physically want to go in and just tell them to stop. Also this webtoon is very cute and Doha is probably one of the best female mc I have seen. You may be asking why am I giving a recommendation on a romance webcomic all of a sudden? Because I can, end of story (I actually want more people to talk about it...) (also before you say anything, I finished it months ago so you don't have to worry about my spm studies lmao)

Crossover support group for subordinates in distress.

Dick: If you could describe your life in 5 words, what would they be? Mine would be; Hiding my pain behind humor.

Bruce: Should've stopped at two kids.

Damian: The Wayne and Batman legacy.

Jason: Shoot first ask questions later.

Steph: Fake it to make it!

Cass: Kick ass. Love family. Dance.

Duke: No clue what I'm doing.

Dick: What about you Tim?

Tim: *exhausted and drinking straight from the coffee pot with tired eyes*

Tim: ...probably won't live past twenty.

Everyone: TIM!

shit i’ve heard chemistry majors say

- *student in a lab coat, cutting in the cafeteria line* YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND I DON’T HAVE A LOT OF TIME MY EXPERIMENT IS GOING TO CATCH FIREEEE

- *loud pop*    student, in very calm voice: well that was painful

- lab assistant, seeing me frantically pulling on gloves: oh no. what did you do now

- professor: come on guys, don’t hate on social sciences majors… it’s not their fault they were born this way

- so i was grading your tests last night. i wanted to kill someone.

- you have five minutes until the end of class to finish the test. but i want to go outside for a smoke, so three

- *section of lab report titled “applications of compound”* i heard that a drug cartel used it to dissolve bodies, should i list that?

- “i’m synthesizing this compound in my next lab class, what kind of stuff effects the success rate and yield?” “dunno man, it depends on your karma”

- based on my recent lab assignments, i have come to the conclusion that the professor wants me dead

- dude, Fehling’s solution contains glucose, what if it tastes like lemonade?   *proceeds to dip finger in and lick it*   well that was a disappointment. the potassium hydroxide makes it kinda bitter.

- professor: you’ll understand this concept in your fifth year   student: sir, this is a four-year program   professor: oh, then never