Welp

i want to get my shit together so badly

i also want to just give up

winter photos

I’m officially going back to my college dorm this Saturday so you know what that means, fasting without my family pressuring me to eat every chance they get!

ngl I really was glad that I could visit my family for a while school way getting to be too much for me during finals so this was a great time to reset.

For those who self h@rm by cvtting, here’s some tips for taking care of yourself from someone whos being doing it for 10+ years

•It’s okay, don’t think any less of yourself for relapsing. It happens and its okay. No one ever tells you that its okay.

•Invest in a person first aid kit, I’m a first responder so I’ve always been stocked up. You should make sure your kit has the following:

• sterile cleansing wipes (you can never have enough of these)

•Conforming bandages (you’ll need this for bigger cuts to help keep the gauze secure

•Microporous Tape

•Different size wound dressings

•Plasters of all different sizes (fabric ones work best I find)

•Kitchen roll (I know that sounds strange but it helps to stop the bleeding, where as tissue just falls to bits)

•Some wound closure stitches (butterfly stitches)

•Wash your hands properly before you cvt, it will help keep you safe okay

•Whatever your going to cvt with make sure you give it a good clean with a sterile wipe, I got some nasty infections from not doing this when I was young.

•After you have had your ‘session’ (at least that’s what I call mine) make sure that you treat your wound properly:

•Hold the kitchen roll to your wound until it stops bleeding.

•Clean the area with the sterile wipes thoroughly

•If it is small enough for a plaster then out that on there

•If not use the wound dressings, measure up to the wound ensuring that there is a good finger width between the edge of the cut and the end of the dressing

•Use the tape to secure it into place

•Hold one end of the bandage away from the wound before you start wrapping it (so you have something to tie it off with)

•Don’t wrap it too tight or it will be uncomfortable and you’ll want to take it off

•Change the bandage or plaster every day at least once (I know that it’s hard but if you don’t it might cause an infection)

•If you cvt too deep, it happens it’s okay I’ve been there, push firmly against the wound with a tea towel or any fabric you can get. If the blud is pouring out I’m going to need you to hold it against you wound as hard as you can and then a little harder. Call you Emergencey service number (999, 911 etc) they will talk you though what you have to do and get you help.

•Dispose of any blades you use, don’t use them twice it WILL cause an infection that can get into your blood. I bought pencil sharpeners on Amazon for very cheap. One use only okay? You don’t want to get sick over it.

•If you want to help your scars become less visible use Bio Oil I think that it works the best and really helped me with the ones on my arms.

•There are things that can help you with your urges or relapses.

•Some helpful apps that I would recommend are:

•StayAlive (I have had this on my phone for many years now and it has saved my life

It has saved my life on many occasions and if you find that you are in need of die help, you can show it to the emergency services and they will help you okay. We are trained in this.

•Harm less (It gives you motivational things whenever you open it, it’s 100% customisable and it can help you keep track of your relapses)

•Its okay to relapse, I’ve been though it many times, I recently just relapsed acted a 250+ day gap. Its okay and no one says it enough. You haven’t let anyone down, no one is disappointed in you, your okay.

Just some tips I’ve learnt over time, it’s going to be okay

REBLOG if you are ACTIVE this DECEMBER ✨

..and i’m looking for mutuals lol

Guys I’m having a freaking panic attack rn, I’m helping a friend of mine find out who was told about an accident. And just this whole topic is really triggering to me, but I want to be a good friend and support my friend. But I’m kinda spiraling about it

crochet vlog

so I’ve been making my sister a crochet granny square blanket and it’s 2 ish days before Christmas. It’s sloooowly coming together but I’m hoping to finish it tomorrow

I’ll add another post about this if I end up finishing it, but it’s looking promising! Oh yea, my cat snickers has been keeping me company while I do this lol

WHY DO MEN EXPECT YOU TO STAY SKINNY BUT GET ANNOYED WHEN YOU ORDER LOW CALORIE FOODS

Oh you want me to be visually appealing but eat a mcdonald's large meal with you twice a week? Sure, I'll just not eat the rest of the time so I don't annoy you with my "rabbit food" you entitled prick

switching from fine to depressed and/or near suicidal like a traffic light 😭

holy shit

guys I’m literally freaking out, just for some context I’m a senior in high school and have been in a committed almost 3 year relationship. And this dummy texts me “wouldn’t it be so silly if I proposed to you while your in uni” and I say back “if you doo, wait till after freshman year as that’ll be my most stressful year” wtf like I know I wanna be with him forever but like, what if he’s joking? I don’t think I can that that

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Literacy journal #1

what kind of reading and writing and speaking activities did you do after school? for church? for play? did you keep a diary? write plays or stories? write letters? frequent chat rooms online? write fanfiction?

growing up i struggled with reading assignments for school, mostly with reading out loud. however outside of school I was reading nonstop, I was reading above what my teachers thought I could. now when I ask my mom about it, she said that what we were reading in class was boring to me and that is why I never wanted to read the assigned books. 

it wasn't until our 3rd grade class was taken to the library that I started to be more confident in reading at school, I was in there every day before classes and during lunch. the librarian introduced me to the world of harry potter, warrior cats, and maximum ride. I loved to read so much that I had teachers telling me to stop reading during classes.

this love for reading continued into my middle school life, I became fast friends with the librarian at that school and was in there inbetween classes while also eating lunch in there- which we weren't allowed to do without special permission from the librarian. I read every book in the 6-7th grade section, then while my mom worked after school in the nurses office across the school, I got permission to read in that schools library while waiting for her to finish work. I was able to read the books in the 8th grade area that I wasn't able to read in my schools library.

one of my favorite things that happened was in 7th grade, I had history class first block. before that class I would ask my teacher if I could run to drop off my library books and get new ones, as the library was right across the hall and he could see me actively talking to the librarian. this is how he knew I wasn't just trying to skip class. then the next day I would ask him again, it got to the point that he told me that it would be ok for me to miss morning announcements to stay in the library a little longer. and near the end of the year he gave me my very own pass to the library and said that I wouldn't need to ask anymore, but his only rule was that I had to tell him about the books and if I would recommend them.

I think that this experience as well as my parents saying that they would get me any book I wanted as long as I continued to read. books became a way to escape the world around me, as a child with high anxiety and awkwardness. I made friends by reading and found a community that I wasn't afraid to express myself in. to this day I continue to read, although I have expanded my genres.