I Want You To Tie Me Up And Choke Me While Fucking The Shit Out Of Me And Smack My Ass You Sexy Piece

“Don't you understand, don't you understand that unhappiness is just as necessary to man as happiness?”

— Fyodor Dosteovsky, Demons.

You gotta teach me your petty ways so I can have sassy and mean clapbacks ready like you do, cuz from what i seen you win fights with ease 💀

Of course! It's all about sarcasm, delivery and wordplay. But this isn't something that everybody can do, see you gotta have the sass and be able to execute it perfectly. ☝️

*makes a big step in your direction with the bowl full of whipped cream*

Mr. Wonka?

Yes, dear girl? *Still baking and stirring*

abandoned church from the 1800s

Steak kabobs

how would you die in willy wonka's chocolate factory

id lie to his face until he mustered up the courage to kill me himself

Lmfao!

I loved wonkasseur's bad attempt to come for you and how you dragged dafuq out of them lol

Wonkasseur is a thirty-year-old adult tumblr who speaks like a hipster kid and reblogs and posts things that look like they were made by elementary children. I thought they were a kid until I read their bio.

I didn't actually need to insult them. It's embarassing enough being 30 on tumblr acting like a child to fit into "fandoms". Someone actually told me that they seriously thought they were a p3do. Phew!