LEMME SMASH!! >:3

And me! I like flies! 🕷️❤️🥰😘😍😌☺️😉😁✨💯🥳🤤👉🏻👈🏻

Hi Jim! Did you miss me?

- @consult-sebmoran

Again? You drop and pop up like flies.

Which is perfect for someone like me.

Trender: What’s a seahorses best sense?

No one: …

Trender: It’s their sight. Because they are a see-horse. They see.

Everyone else at the meeting table:

Slender: Why the hell are you here? What do you even do?

Trender: I bless you all with my presence, so don’t sass me, fuckhead.

so maybe im just not british but nobody says “tickety boo” or “get a wiggle on” literally ever so consider Aziraphale just kind of,,, makes phrases up in his head and forgets that they’re not Things People Say.

like he’s bickering with crowley and accidentally slips some weird shit like “put your teeth on a leash right now” and crowley just is like “what the fuck, angel.”

Well, appearantly you haven't! 🕷️❤️🥰😍😘☺️😉😌😁🥳🤣😂👉🏻👈🏻

Hewwo! Guess what! I became a bird mommy to a beautiful () female crow just this morning and she's a precious, very non-aggressive and super chill sweetheart! 🕷️❤️🥰😍😘🥳😁😌😉😳🥺🥹☺️😇✨👉🏻👈🏻

A spider raising a crow.

And here I believed I have seen everything.

Yes, I was! I was just too drunk to say no and accidentally turned into my human form! 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍☺️😌😁😉😋😅👀😳🙂😏👉🏻👈🏻

👀

.....Ah, it's a "sip of the ol' 50 year whisky day".

slender brothers in heat head canons? 💕

[NSFW]

Slender

With all of the stress built up, it's a wonder he even gets a heat at all.

But with all that stress, plus the sexual frustration of the heat, he tends to get a little angsty.

This leads to more sexual frustration since his s/o wouldn't be in the mood anymore.

He'll get uncharacteristically touchy with his s/o, maybe even a little rough at times.

Pulling you towards him with a firm hand, or a few tendrils squeezing you towards his towering figure.

Possessive, almost.

The use of his tendrils will become more active throughout the day, especially in bed.

Will probably choke you a lil ngl-

And while he's rutting into you, he'll coil the appanages around your thighs to spread them so he can hilt deeper in that pussy.

He tries to hold himself back during heat, but it's just so hard to ignore.

Especially if he' around his s/o alot, because his body is just screaming at him to fuck them here and now.

Slender has the third-longest heat.

Offender

Complete fucking animal.

If he doesn't have an s/o at the time, he'll probably knock up every woman in sight if he gets the chance.

With, uh, protection of course, to a degree.

That overwhelming urge to fill anyone up overcomes his self-control (no pun intended).

And this man can already go like 5+ rounds in a row, normally, so one can only imagine the lengths he would go to relieve himself of this desperate horniness.

While in the act, he's a little feral.

Growing, groaning, scratching, and biting is only half of the fun.

Don't expect any breaks as Offender is rutting into at inhuman speeds.

He tends to use his tendrils to his advantage, either using them to pin you down or hold your body closer to him.

He never tries to hold back in his heat, he's just so focused on fucking his cum into you, that he doesn't really think about anything else.

Offender's heat is the longest out of the four.

Trender

sUch A wHiNY lIl SHIt IsTG

If he has an s/o, their ear will be talked off from Trender complaining all morning.

He's jacked off at least 6 times in the first few hours of waking up.

And his dick is so hard and throbbing that it's literally painful.

He'll beg his s/o to help him achieve some release.

He doesn't expect them to help him throughout the whole day like, cough, some people.

He'll expect a few rounds but gladly accept more.

He gets really touchy-feely with his s/o, even out of the bedroom.

Just walking past you, he literally has to rake his hands along your thighs and bite/kiss your neck or he'll go insane.

If you lean back into his touch or touch him back, even just a hand on his arm, you'll get pounded on the kitchen counter.

He doesn't use his tendrils alot, but he doesn't have an issue using them when reminding you who's really in control.

His heat is the least aggressive, and it's more about just being horny all the time than seeking out someone to mate with.

Trender has the shortest heat.

Splendor

There's not a moment in his heat where his ears and/or cheeks aren't a deep shade of red.

He secludes himself to his room to try and relieve his pent up sexual tension.

Even in his sleep, he wakes up to find his hips rocking against the covers.

He hates to bother his s/o but he just needs this so bad.

Be careful if you let him go more than two rounds, cause then he starts to get a bit animalistic.

The raw, prolonged, mixture of passion and pleasure during his heat is enough to send him over the edge of rational thinking.

With his mouth split open to reveal some rather sharp teeth, he's not afraid to leave good-sized and bleeding love bites along your neck, breasts, thighs, and whatever else he can sink his teeth into.

He just needs you. He needs your body, he needs your love to ride out this heat.

He tries to be gentle, but when his emotions get the best of him Splendor can get rather unknowingly rough.

Pretty little claw marks also decorate your thighs next to the love bites.

Splendor has the second-longest heat.

I see. Good Omens is included in the fandoms you write for, yes? And are Harry Potter and BBC Sherlock also included?

Do you also do match ups or only fanfics?

Do you mean match ups between readers and characters or two characters? Either way, I'll admit I'm not familiar with this, but why not!

*suddenly wonders if they know enough characters to do that and keep it varied*

AGREED!! 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍💯😂🤣🤭😁☺️😳👀😉😋👉🏻👈🏻

thoughts on will wood? :3

smash

Dungeon Bats

Animagus!Snape x Animagus!Professor!Reader Wordcount: ~1000 Summary: Severus Snape thinks the Muggle Studies professor is strange only to find out she is an animagus with an awfully familiar form.

Read here or on ao3

The Muggle Studies professor was strange.

Hogwarts always had its fair share of odd characters occupying teaching positions. Even a ghost, evidently, was capable of teaching. But he couldn’t place what it was about you that made him so suspicious. 

You were human, not like Firenze or Professor Binns. You weren’t kooky like Hagrid or Professor Trelawney. Outwardly, you appeared perfectly normal. However, there were oddities if one looked closely.

You ate fruit. Lots of it. Every day at breakfast, instead of toast, eggs, bacon, sausage, things the other teachers would partake in, your breakfast consisted of fruit and only fruit, including a cup of pumpkin juice. Your plate appeared almost like a small pyramid, stacked with cubes of cantaloupe, pineapple, strawberries, honeydew, and grapes, leaving behind a pool of sweet juices when consumed. 

You also had a tendency to pop up and disappear seemingly out of nowhere. One time he went into your classroom to talk to you about moving a couple of detentions around only to find it empty, having swept his gaze around it. Just as he approached your office door to knock on it, you uttered a soft “hello” as you stood in the middle of the classroom, making him jump out of his skin. 

Furthermore, Filch had brought up to him once that he could hear some perplexing screeching noises echoing from random parts of the castle at night and even what sounded like right outside the windows. What was strange about it is he only brought them up the morning after you were scheduled to perform rounds.

This wasn’t to say he disliked you. Quite the opposite. Out of everyone in the castle, he’d say he preferred your company. Who he'd rather sit next to at Quidditch games? Probably you. Even though you were the Muggle Studies teacher, you had plenty of knowledge about Care for Magical Creatures and DADA. Potions weren’t your forte, but you’d happily let him ramble about the subject, even when he’d realize too late that he was rambling. 

“Why do you eat so much fruit?” he asked one day when you came into his classroom eating a sliced-up apple.

“Oh, uh, that’s just my animagus urges. Sorry, am I dripping juice on the ground again?”

He blinked dumbly at you. “You’re an animagus?”

You chuckled, “You didn’t know, Severus? I thought Minerva would’ve told you. Yes, I am an animagus.”

“What animal?” he asked. You smirked and set down the apple slices on a nearby table before shifting. Your robes moved with you, swishing up and shrinking until you took the form of a fruit bat. You flapped and swooped about the air in a few circles before landing on the flat surface of the table, using your talons and thumbs hooks to wriggle toward your sweet fruit.

“You’re a fruit bat,” he observed. You screeched at him in confirmation and began to gingerly gnaw on the flesh of the nearest apple slice. Severus remained quiet for a little, seemingly thinking to himself as his fingers flexed and his jaw clenched slightly. Much to your curiosity, he wordlessly set his wand down and took a deep breath. Within a flash, his robes swooped around him, and in his place was a fruit bat, just like you, but bigger. He flapped his wings just hard enough to get him onto the table as he landed with an audible thud. It was pretty much impossible for bats to take flight without launching from a tree or a high-up place.

[Woah! You’re a bat too? That’s awesome! Is that why students call you a “dungeon bat?”]

[Yes, I am an animagus whose form is also a bat, and no, that’s just a coincidence.]

[How come you’re so much bigger than me?]

[You don’t exactly tower over me, Y/N.]

From then on, the two of you would sometimes go on day flights if both of you had some free time. While both of you wished to fly at nights, you still needed time to sleep and perform your teaching duties during the day. However, your favorite times were when the both of you were scheduled to do rounds. Your classrooms were on opposite sides of the castle so it was almost like a game to use echolocation to find each other in the dark and meet up. It was a little fun considering the dungeons were almost maze-like. If the two of you were sure that no students were out and about, you’d ditch your duties, ascend up the Astronomy tower, and take off into the night sky, playfully chasing one another or showing off flying moves. 

Severus hardly used his form unless it was necessary. It’s not like one got to choose which animal they could shift into. Admittedly, he was a bit let down when he first shifted all those years ago, but with you he learned to embrace his batiness, though he still resisted such urges when it came to eating a castle’s worth of fruit. He liked flying, of course, but he found that he quite liked hanging upside down too, especially when he needed a break from grading or just wanted a change of scenery. Sometimes he’d come hang around your office when you were grading and vice versa.

Dumbledore came to visit his classroom one late afternoon to talk about a particularly unruly Slytherin, but could not find the potion master anywhere, not even in his office. It was rather dark, all the lamps extinguished and curtains drawn. What he did notice, however, was two wands haphazardly tossed onto the stone ground near Snape’s desk, one of which he recognized as your wand. Dumbledore craned his neck up towards the ceiling where an old chandelier hung and sure enough, hanging from one of the rungs was a large fruit bat, and swaddled in its wings being held close to its fur, a smaller fruit bat. The both of you were napping. The old wizard smiled at the sight and slowly receded back through the doorway, happy that Severus had finally found a little bat of his own.

HC for all four slender brothers s/o being put in hospital by some thugs ✨ thanks ❤️❤️ ily you and your blog

um, IlY TOoO uwu

Slender

It’s not exactly easy to sneak into a hospital when you’re a 6-8ft tall faceless, pale, lampost.

But he’ll go to great measures for his s/o.

Especially when they’re injured.

He’ll probably get one of the proxies to distract the nurse or doctors while he *poofs* into the room.

He makes sure you’re alright first and talks to you in a soothing voice.

He’ll ask if you need/want anything from home.

He’ll stay by your side and kiss your hands as long as he can.

He’ll casually ask for physical features, names, clothing, even voice descriptions of the attackers.

He doesn’t act too suspicious though, just wants to know so you can avoid them.

And possibly talk to them like a gentleman.

He’ll leave when the doctor starts to make his way to the room, and he’ll give you a quick kiss goodbye.

Knowing you’re in good hands gives him a peace of mind while he’s out and about.

He’s a no mercy kind of fellow.

Especially when it comes to others hurting the people he cares about.

Let’s just say they won’t be roaming around town anymore and his suit is beyond salvageable.

Splendor

Immediately by your side,

He grabs whatever he think’s you’ll need from home.

Phone, clothes, tablet/laptop, anything to distract you from your stay at the hospital.

He won’t ask you what happened at first, he’s too focused on making sure you’re well taken care of and that you’re not severely injured.

He’s not the strongest out of all of his brothers, but he can be the scariest.

So you can bet after visiting you for 5 hours, he’s off trying to find who possibly attacked you.

He’ll approach them like a gentleman at first, politely informing them who is s/o is, what their favorite color is, and how they take their coffee.

He’ll drag it out and spiral down into commenting how they won’t care about thee things or how his s/o is injured in the hospital.

He won’t kill them no, no.

But they’ll wish he had.

Trender

“oH My gOd-”

He let’s himself freakout at home after he got the phone call.

He forgets to grab everything he needs.

No phone, no jacket, not even changing out of his sweatpants.

Which is a crime, to say the least.

He’s practically in tears when he sees your state.

He’ll ask if you’re okay even tho you obviously aren’t.

He’ll talk to you, but he doesn’t ask questions about the attack.

He doesn’t want you to relive the traumatizing experience.

He’ll get you some gross cafeteria hospital food.

He’ll promise to protect you and walk you everywhere.

He’s not the violent type, so he won’t go out and do the deed himself.

But once you’re ready to talk, he’ll get the information he needs and relays it onto someone else.

It may be one of his brothers that owes him something, or perhaps someone more trained.

He has some good connections, after all.

Offender

He’ll check on you real quick first.

He has to make sure you’re okay before uhh..running some errands.

His visit isn’t a happy one to say the least.

His tone his flat, and he keeps questioning you about their looks, their voices, anything he’s able to use to be able to track them down.

If you won’t talk about it, he might take a peek into your mind with some classic telepathy to see for himself.

He’ll keep in touch with you by calling, face timing, and texting you, but he’ll be too busy to visit you for longer than ten or fifteen minutes.

After he buys a new coat, he assures you everything has been, “Taken care of” and that you’ll be safe.

He didn’t only go after the attackers, he went after everyone they may or may not be connected to.

He’ll visit you with a much more softer tone, and a bouquet of nice flowers.

He’ll assure you that no one’s out there to hurt you anymore.