Yes, I Was! I Was Just Too Drunk To Say No And Accidentally Turned Into My Human Form! 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍☺️😌😁😉😋😅👀😳🙂😏👉🏻👈🏻

The Gift

Summary: Out of nowhere, your husband receives a gift from you.

A/N: This came to me last night after thinking of what type of mail people receive. Here's one I hope you enjoy.

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The Owl Postal Service in Hogwarts was, if not, consistent in their delivery time.

This time being, the hour after breakfast started for everyone to ensure that no disruptions, except important missives, were to be received during class hours.

Your tawny barn owl sailed through the Great Hall, over the heads of students and staff, and landed on the High Table in front of its’ intended recipient, your husband, their dark and grumpy Potions Professor, Severus Snape.

It was uncommon for the Potions’ Professor to receive anything but Potions’ ingredients, his usual Potions’ Journal subscription, or official mail either from the Ministry or the Order so the package, a neatly wrapped gift in royal green paper, silver ribbon, and a tag attached, accompanied by a letter in your distinct handwriting was bound to attract attention.

“Is there a special occasion?” the Headmaster’s eyes twinkled upon the sight of the young Potions’ Master quite confused,

“No,” Severus answered, “Not that I know of,”

His thoughts a mile a minute through his brain, slowly, internally panicking. His eyes locked at the present in front of him. Did he forget YOUR birthday? God no, you’d thoroughly celebrated every time the day came around. Did he forget his birthday? Did he forget an anniversary? Did he forget a muggle holiday that you loved to celebrate? No, so what was this doing here?

“It’s wrapped beautifully,” Minerva remarked, from across Dumbledore, “Will you open it?”

He does. First, the letter.

“Sev,” your voice echoed through his brain, “I know you’re probably trying to think of any reason why I would send a gift to you on a normal day.”

You know him far too well.

“Just stop. Do I need a reason to send a gift to the one I love when I feel like it?” a soft smile slowly formed on his lips as he read that line, his colleagues’ interest piqued at the change, “It’s from our holiday and other events, I hope you like it. I know I did. I love you, I’ll see you when I get home,”

Your letter was swiftly tucked in his robes after then taking the package from your owl. Severus proffered a treat for them, and they happily ate before it perched itself on his shoulder. His hands gently tugged on the silver to unwrap the gift.

His initials and yours, on the cover of a leather-bound enchanted photo album.

On the first page of your story, the title page, if the album was a muggle document, was a candid photo from your most recent vacation. Your arms wrapped around his. His figure was behind yours in a hug. Your faces were engulfed in laughter after a guide failed to land a joke against him.

“Oh,” Severus whispered, Your gift was amazing. How did he get so lucky to deserve you?

“That’s a rare sight,” Filius said, by his right, “Severus smiling and speechless,”

“She’s beautiful, Severus,” Albus complimented,

“We look forward to meeting her,” Minerva said,

Their words fell on deaf ears.

Beneath the photo album, in a frame, there was another photo of the both of you from afar. This moment was captured by a charmed camera that you didn’t even know was there until after it happened. In the wilds of Wizarding Britain, on your first date, underneath the stars, he’d kissed the back of your hand, admitted his affections, and asked if he could kiss you. To which you shyly agreed, and received the sweetest kiss you’d ever experienced.

This he could place on his desk. The others were not up for public consumption.

“If you’ll excuse me, Professors, I must send a response,”

What kind of pets would the creeps/ slender brothers have?

Slender

Slender likes birds and cats.

He has a grey parrot that Offender rescued and then gifted to him.

He was a little touched at the kind gesture…until the parrot started moaning at 3am from his bedroom.

Through a good few weeks, and many awkward explanations/apologies, Slender got him to repeat more common phrases.

He also has a black and white cat he’s named “Gus” that’s content on his lap or shoulders while he works.

Splendor

Has a giant fish tank in his room.

Lot’s of bright and colorful fish, along with other aquatic creatures that fit in the tank, like crabs, snails, eels, and a LOT of coral.

He’s also tamed a wild squirrel. It’s hiding somewhere in a nest under his bed.

Trender

He wants a chinchilla SO BAD.

They’re so cute.

Or maybe a baby pig.

However, he knows he’s not around enough to take care of one himself.

But he does have a black and white cat that he’s named “Mr. Mistoffelees”, a reference to the Cats musical.

Offender

A giant dog.

Something along the lines of a Mastiff or a Great Dane.

Something just as intimidating as him, but fluffy and cuddly on the inside.

Also loud and obnoxious in the early hours of the morning.

He also has a smol and cute dog, cause ladies love those.

And the pomeranian grew on his heart, too.

He rescued (cough, stole, cough) from one of his lovers home when he saw it was being neglected.

He gave it to Slender after he…started picking up on some lewd sounds.

Jeff

Smile dog, ofc.

Grinny recognizes him as someone who feeds him half of the time (Slender keeps a dog/cat food bowl in the kitchen), but other than that he’s not too fond of Jeff as an owner.

Especially since Jeff cradles him a lot when picking him up, which Griny hates to no end.

Jeff probably has a pet raccoon or smth.

“Ya this is Francine, i found her in da trashcan.”

BEN

I can see BEN owning a share of tarantulas and reptiles.

Something that doesn’t need a lot of light because his room is practically a dungeon.

He doesn’t mind spiders, actually.

He also has a ferret that slinks around on his desk alot.

Eyeless Jack

He likes reptiles best and favors a blue-tongued skink that steals his pillow at night.

But he also has a cute lil grey and brown corn snake that slithers around a rather large tank.

Laughing Jack

Jack loves snakes to no end.

Also rats!!

You can see the conflict.

But he always makes sure they’re 100% safe at all times.

You can occasionally catch him giving w few rats a ride on his shoulders, or a snake coiled around his arm, just vibing.

He has a pet lemur too.

He used to have a big ol’ white tiger and snow leopard, but they were too much to take care of.

Masky

He has a little hedgehog boi.

He fell in love ever since he saw one float on a pond.

And he just knew that he had to have one.

He had a parrot

Hoodie

Hoodie has a little bird that chips every morning at 6:00 to wake him up for work.

She likes to hop around on him while he works from home or sleeps.

And she’s really well trained, all Brain has to do is whistle and she comes flying!

She’s very adorable and loving, and when Tim comes over she likes to nibble on his ear and tussle his hair.

Toby

Toby has…an unusual taste for pets.

He’s the biggest animal lover.

He had a raccoon once, but it didn’t turn out well since it was, indeed, feral as all hell.

He like lizards though, and head a bearded dragon in his room that’s named, “Roberto”.

He also has a pair of fluffy rabbits that are “dating” in Toby’s terms.

They’re both big, chubby, and adorable.

Lost Silver

He’s got a lot of forgotten pokemon running around his room.

(BEN visits alot bc he absolutely loves em)

They’re kind of high maintenance bc they bleed everywhere, but he knows no one else will take them.

And also he couldn’t bear to part with any of them.

Moths. And a beatle! :D

moths on lightsheet

David Fischer, Malaysia, 2024.

They look like they're having a lunch date! 🕷️❤️✨

omnomnomnomnom(devouring a flower together)

Well, since keep saying that you didn't fall down the staircase, can I ask what exactly happened? 🕷️❤️🥰😘😍🥺🥹😭😳🥲😅☺️😉😁😌🤣😂✨💯👉🏻👈🏻

Does your broken butt fell better today, Sherly? 🕷️❤️🥰😘😍🥺🥹😭😳🥲😅☺️😉😁😌😂🤣👉🏻👈🏻

My posterior is not broken. The majority of it consists of muscles like the gluteus maximus, which you can't really break.

Concerning my bruised non-injured coccyx and sacrum, I might have palpated them when if I had fallen on them. And the theoretical palpation showed no broken or moving parts. No x-ray necessary given that a broken coccyx can't be treated with a cast anyway given you can't immobilise the bone properly.

But of course such a theoretical injury takes some days to heal and several impact points on legs and arms have bruises when you fall down the stairs. Hematoma usually take a few weeks to heal, as well as the pain to lessen. All theoretical, of course.

...Did you hurt yourself, Sherly? 🕷️❤️🥰😘😍😌😁✨😳😉☺️🤣😂🥲😋😳👉🏻👈🏻

In case anyone claims I fell down the stairs, no I did not fall down the stairs. There is no evidence for that. I am much too agile and have too fast reflexes to do such a simple mistake as slip on the stairs.

I need to ask this, yandere tim and yandere brian p o l y realationship?

Jelly bois

Yan!Tim & Brian

Yandere + yandere never work out.

Yanderes are way too possessive to share.

So, interest is peaked with they agree to a poly relationship.

Things will be rough around the edges, to say the least, and the household will be toxic.

Well, more toxic than usual with yanderes.

It’s more of a, share sometimes

There are constant quarrels and arguments between the boys over you.

Sometimes is about the other spending too much time with you, giving you better gifts, or potentially trying to scare the competition off.

Masky is more controlling than Hoodie, and he’s way more confrontational.

He isn’t afraid to start a fight if needed.

They both get jealous extremely easily.

Remember the play wrestling?

Crank that up to a 10, but with each other.

They’ll spar with each other occasionally, behind your back.

Even if they are best buds (maybe more in a poly djdsjagdas), they’ll go through anything to be with their s/o,

A l o n e.

This means sometimes kidnapping you.

Especially Masky, who’s an expert at not waking you up while moving you around the house.

Aka taking you away from Brian.

He’ll just pick you up, make intense eye contact with Hoodie and walk slowly out of the room with you in his arms.

Leaving you to wonder how you woke up in Tims’s arms when you went to bed under Vrian’s fur blanket.

Bascally it’s a game of capture the flag but it’s capture the s/o.

But they lowkey love each other.

Bc Brian will be caught sleeping on top of Tim on the couch.

And when you catch him he’ll get a little flustered and deny it.

They’ll also be your big and tol body guards when you go out in public together.

They’ll generally just fuck around with people who look at you for more than .3 seconds.

Aka scaring the FucK outta them.

And maybe tag-teaming punching them in the stomach and then running off to catch up with their s/o who’s still ordering food.  

They’ll eventually learn to work out their differences with each other.

One way or another.

Cue a suspicious wink.

*Throws snowballs at @consult-sherlockholmes, @criminalisticonsultant and @consult-johnhwatson* SNOWBALL FIGHT!!! 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍😏😁🤭😋😌😉☺️🤣😂👀👉🏻👈🏻

It's about to be a white Christmas...😏

Slender: Splendor hand me that newspaper

Spendor: Oka- No! You're going to hit me with it.

Slender: I won't.

Splendor: Do you promise?

Slender: Yes.

Slender:

Slender: Trender, hit your brother for me.

when you reopen asks can you do the ages of the slenderbrothers pls :D

Stuff like this I don’t consider requests cause they only take like, less than five minutes to do xd

Slender- 

The oldest of the brothers was born in the late 1700s, and I’d say he’s around 239 years young.

Offender- 

The second eldest was born in the early 1800s, and stands around 189 years old.

Trender-

Trender was born in the mid 1800s, so he’s around 172 years old.

Splendor-

The youngest, He was born around 1890, so he’s only around 130 years old.