AGREED!! 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍💯😂🤣🤭😁☺️😳👀😉😋👉🏻👈🏻

Goodness gracious, why...?! And if I msy be allowed to also give one of my own headcannons, I'd kind of say that Umbitch forces her student to wear pink when ever not in class. And on Wendesdays probably... But again, WHY?!

Hey! I know you're most likely gonna hate me for even thinking about asking that, but couple I maybe request a big bunch of your best headcannons about Professor Umbridge going full on yandere over onne of her female students??? Thanks in advance!

*blinks*

Okay, first of all, for anyone out there: I'm OLD and I live under a rock

Face reveal v

I had to google what yandere meant..... help

With that said, I– I just– w-why???

I don't even know what to tell you or what to make of this because my brain is physically unable to produce any sort of Umbridge headcanons so I don't know where to find you "a big bunch" of them

What comes to mind for now is the following:

She would give her student an ungodly amounts of useless gifts, like a collection of cat-themed stationery

She would build a shrine in a corner of her office with way too many shades of pink, tea cozies with the student’s face on them, framed photos of her and cuts from "The Daily Prophet", also singing kitten in moving portraits that would meow the student's name like a mantra

She would punish the other students for stupid stuff of course and the sanctions would be extreme with like a quill that writes "I must not covet what is hers" or "stay away from [student's name]" into their skin

She would have no scrupules using Imperio to hurt those who try to interact with her favourite student or punish her if she tried to have any sort of relationship, even platonic with someone else

She would implement rules at Hogwarts that would ensure she could spend time with her student

Also, she would rearrange schedules every day

She would come to Quidditch matches with huge banners with ridiculous slogans to encourage her student, and she would force the students she tolerates most to be part of a fan club to cheer during the matches (but not too much, otherwise she would feel threatened and severely punish them)

Apart from that, I'm sorry but nothing comes to mind because whaaaat 😭

Spiders are not insects, they're arachnids. But that is a very beautiful latrodectus tredecimguttatus nonetheless. Did you take the picture yourself? I have to admit the picture has a rather good quality! 🕷️❤️

🕷❤️

Yes, I was! I was just too drunk to say no and accidentally turned into my human form! 🕷️❤️😘🥰😍☺️😌😁😉😋😅👀😳🙂😏👉🏻👈🏻

👀

.....Ah, it's a "sip of the ol' 50 year whisky day".

slenderman, toby, lj and jeff with a creep/friend who is VERY weird. Like be loud, climb random things, collect shiney objects, talk to animals, and give random things as gifts kind of weird/eccentric. Hopefully its not too weird.

Slender:

Slender generally isn't affected by your weirdness. He's got an entire house full of weirdos, what's another person with eccentric tastes on top of that? Some of your quirks he does find a bit cute, like when you find something new to add to your collections and you excitedly tell him about it, however, he definitely does not enjoy your louder moments, especially not when you're paired with some of the other loud creeps within the mansion.

Toby:

Toby absolutely adores you. You wanna be loud? Fuck yeah, dude let's go scream into the woods and try and make it echo. You wanna climb something? There are some thick vines on the mansion he likes scaling, lets go do that. You collect stuff???? So does he!! You should compare collections and get things for them together! Toby has quite an eccentric personality himself when he's in a good mood, so he can get along well with someone like this.

Laughing Jack:

Jack is drawn in towards quirky people, and you are certainly no exception. He enjoys joining you in your more eccentric activities, often inviting you to take part in some of the weirder interests he has as well. The two of you end up getting along very smoothly, and the other residents also tend to agree that the two of you have a very similar vibe and are quite compatible. 

Jeff:

Jeff also finds quirky people interesting, mostly because he likes analyzing people and figuring out why they are the way they are. But when they're just fucking weird?? Those are his favorite people. He always joins you when you're doing stupid shit because he also loves doing stupid shit, so why not do stupid shit together?? He's also usually picking up various things he thinks you might like for your collection or finding new places for you to do weird things together.

She is a gorgeous spider! ❤️

🕷 pet intro . heather

Heather is a 1-2 year old, confirmed female, captive bred, juvenile Arizona Blonde Tarantula (aphonopelma chalcodes) that I picked up at an exotics expo on January 28th, 2024.

She is named for the movie Heathers! <3

She has a very gentle and docile temperament 🤎

Poop, poor consulting detective... Want me to bite and poison the stairs for you, @consult-sherlockholmes? 🕷️❤️🥰😘😍😌😁😉☺️🥲😳😅😭✨👉🏻👈🏻

And thank you for taking care of Sherlock for me, @consult-johnhwatson! 🕷️❤️🥰😘😍😌😁😉☺️🥳🥺🥹💯✨😭👈🏻

In case anyone claims I fell down the stairs, no I did not fall down the stairs. There is no evidence for that. I am much too agile and have too fast reflexes to do such a simple mistake as slip on the stairs.

Agh! I just saw you do bb, can I get william t. Spears, sebastian, and claude christmas shopping with their s/o?

Ahhhhhhh

Willian T. Spears would’t be used to you bouncing around like this in public, hell he was hardly used to you making a lot of noise, but here you are, giggling like a school girl. He watches with a raised brow as you rushed into shops and bought things, then refusing his request of showing him what you bought. He gave a small agitated sigh, before he walks behind you, noticing people smiling at your cheery, holiday attitude. He let a small smile make its way onto his lips. Maybe this wasn’t so bad

Sebastian Michaelis was running errands for his young master, but honestly he didn’t expect you to be there, but there you were. He shrugs, before dragging you out of the candy shop, before you were thrown out by the owner, Excuse me, ______. I don’t think it’s a good idea to piss that person off.” He stated, his deep voice soft and smooth as he looks down at you. “Come along, you can help me.” He stated, holding your hand to keep you from running off. You smiled at him and followed him quietly and happily., 

Claude Faustus was out working as well, letting out a long sigh before he rubs his neck slightly. “Where the hell did they go?’ He asks, tilting his head and running a hand through his hair, sighing to himself. “____!” He finally found you at the fountain in the square. He picks you up, tilting his head and sighing as he walked through the streets, earning a few weirded out looks, but he didn’t care at all. He needed to take you home. 

Welcome back, Sweetie! 🕷️❤️🥰😍😘😌☺️😁😉🥺🤭🤣😂🤦🏻‍♀️✨👉🏻👈🏻

forgor my login

...Did you hurt yourself, Sherly? 🕷️❤️🥰😘😍😌😁✨😳😉☺️🤣😂🥲😋😳👉🏻👈🏻

In case anyone claims I fell down the stairs, no I did not fall down the stairs. There is no evidence for that. I am much too agile and have too fast reflexes to do such a simple mistake as slip on the stairs.

Not Halloween-y but could you write about the slender brothers purring around their s/o for the first time?

 Slender

Just come into his office when he’s in a good mood and start loving on him.

You’re bound to get a purr soon or later if the environment is right.

Some long and loving touches and slow kisses will prompt his purring.

You pause from the sudden static rumble from your boyfriend’s throat.

You’ve never heard it before, but by the way he leans into you, he seems to be enjoying himself.

Slender will lean his head into your side as you massage his temples as a deep, gravelly purr with a whisper of static rumbles from his throat.

You allow him to stay like that for a calming break, before being coaxed on his lap to retrieve even more purrs from your boyfriend.

Offender

As everyone knows, Offender is a very loving person.

He can usually create a short-lived purr on command, but there are times where he surprises himself before falling asleep while cradling his s/o.

It’d have to be a quiet night where Offender can get lost in his thoughts thinking about his s/o, and how much time and love he’s spent with them.

You’ll be shifted awake by a mass of muscle scooting closer to you, along with a gaining purr in volume.

Offender has a loud purr, so you won’t be getting much sleep tonight.

You were aware of his purring since he mentioned it in passing, but you couldn’t imagine it’d keep you awake.

But the lopsided smirk he’s sporting will never spark disgruntlement.

You just hold him closer and leave butterfly kisses along his cheeks in content.

Trender

It will take a while into the relationship for Trender to purr around his s/o.

He doesn’t purr often, and there’s rarely moments long enough for it to be prompted.

Everything has to be perfect to hear his cute raspy purr.

It was a long day at work, and he was dead on his feet from slaving over another ballgown for a rich party for rich people who seemed to all request his clothing at once.

Trender fell into your arms, and didn’t even bother to take his shoes off before hand.

All he knew that night was cuddling up to his s/o’s chest and taking a very long nap in their arms.

There isn’t much else to it besides tracing your touch along his skin and keeping Trender relaxed in your hold for a good nights sleep.

He wouldn’t even know he was purring until his s/o mentioned it the next morning.

Splendor

The first time hearing him purr would be the first time you cuddle..

Splendor purrs easily, and it can surface whenever he’s in close contact with you, whether it be a cuddle or a long hug.

And Splendor is a huge cuddle bug, he’ll hop onto any given chance to snuggle up under a blanket.

And just after a few minutes, Splendor was putty in your arms.

He’s just so peaceful and content and cute, your heart just can’t handle it.

Press a few kisses to his cheeks and he’ll be glowing.

The high-pitched sound surprised you at first, and before you could ask if he was alright, he buried his freckled cheeks into the crook of your neck.

Splendor was content, and even though your heart was racing, you kept still and enjoyed the solitude.