Cborle’s Shakespeare They Could Never Make Me Hate You

I'm giggling at the "serving cunt" text on Marvin's

Pinterest gets it

stephen saying "don't be a fOol" in that tone of voice should earn him a tony. rn

man what is that gideon from criminal minds-

I can't unsee I'm sorry I'M SORRY 😭

cant even imagine how nasty they fucked after this

jared kleinman?

Me: I want compliments and attention Someone: * gives me compliments and attention* Me: *trembling slightly* what the hell

STOPP my mom just had a whole ass conversation with me like two days ago where she tried to explain that a relationship would fall apart without sex. and without sex, you're partner holding someone's hand on kissing someone else is the new sex.

NO. actually. not true guys. if I ever do have a partner in the future, them fucking holding someone's hand won't bother me. it won't be done with romantic connotation. they are allowed to breathe─ just because if I ever want a relationship I wouldn't want it to be sexual doesn't mean it doesn't matter? or it matters less??? buddy.

i didn't have "i'm broken" teenage asexual angst i had "i'm literally being the only reasonable one about this concept and the rest of you are behaving like fucking freaks" perception issues

Hey girly! Just wanted to say the good word.

CAT DADDY HAS A BIG BAG OF HAM CAT DADDY HAS A BIG BAG OF HAM CAT DADDY IS SLAYING THE DAY CAT DADDY MIGHT ACTUALLY BE GAY CAT DADDY HAS A BIG BAG OF HAM CAT DADDY HAS A BIG BAG OF HAM CAT DADDY HAS A BIG BAG OF HAM

I am.... deeply concerned for your sanity.

I pretend I do not hear

@weirdo-with-a-potato we've officially subjected ourselves to neverending catgirl hell

P.S.

christian borle I am so fucking sorry oh my god why did I spend so many hours on this PLEASE FORGIVE ME

When Marvin breaks up with you you get a free hat as a consolation prize

back on my grind (creating a something rotten! modern au in my head but never doing anything with it)

Incorrect Quotes Are Nice

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Jared: You really think I give a fuck? I can't even read.

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Evan: Okay, okay. Stop asking me if I identify as gay, straight, bi, whatever. I identify as a FUCKING THREAT.

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Connor: When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying 'Haven’t decided yet' is typically a good response.

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Alana: Died, and came back as a cowboy. I call that reintarnation.

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Jared: What doesn't kill me should run, because now i'm fucking pissed.

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Evan: I was born for politics. I have great hair, and I love lying.

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Zoe: Dear friends, your Christmas gift this year… is me. That’s right, another year of friendship. Your membership has been renewed.

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Jared: Well, well, well, well... if it isn't my old friend: the dawning realization that I fucked up bad.

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Alana: I'm going to defeat you with the power of friendship!! ....And this knife I found.

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Jared: You'll have a hard time believing this because it never happens, but I made a mistake.

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Connor: Goodnight moon, goodnight trees;

Connor: Goodnight ghosts that only I can see.

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Jared: I'd like to offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals.

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Evan: My life is as glamorous as my wanted poster makes it look like.

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Jared: 'Person of interest' is too flattering.

Jared: Like, if the police were to pound on my door and go, 'A man has been murdered in your building, and you are a person of interest,' I'd be like, 'Moi? Oh, do go on.'

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Zoe: BEHOLD, The field in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!

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Alana: I’m sick and tired of being called 'mortal' like, you don’t know that. Neither do I. I have never died even ONCE. Nothing has been proven yet. Stop making assumptions. It’s rude.

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Jared: I've come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than fuck

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Connor: Fool me once, i'm gonna kill you

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Evan: Schrödinger’s cat is overrated. If you wanna see something that’s both dead and alive you can talk to me any time of the day.

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Jared: People are always asking me: 'Are you a morning person, or a night person?'

Jared: And I'm just like, 'Buddy, i'm barely even a PERSON!'

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Evan: Some of you may die, but that's a sacrifice I am willing to make.

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Zoe: With great power comes great need to take a nap.

Zoe: Wake me up later.

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Jared: bitches b like “im baby” but have childhood trauma and neglect like wtf do u know about being baby u were forced to grow up from an early age anyways.

Jared: ...I’m bitches.

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Connor: You seem familiar, have I threatened you before?

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Jared: You can de-escalate any situation by simply saying, 'Are we about to kiss?'

Jared: Doesn't work for getting out of speeding tickets, by the way.

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Connor, playing a VR game: You see, that’s the thing. It PROBABLY is fine. It’s PROBABLY 100% okay. There are PROBABLY no spiders in this headset.

Connor: BUT- as you may be able to relate to- If you find a spider in your headset, and then have to put that headset on to play video games...

Connor: YoU jUsT dOn'T gEt ToO cOMfOrTaBlE.

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Alana, gesturing to a Halloween display: All these ghosts! All these ghosts, and I still can't find a boo!

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Jared: So apparently the 'bad vibes' I've been feeling are actually severe psychological distress

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Connor: Physically? Yeah, I could fight a bird. But, emotionally? Imagine the toll.

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Evan: You wanna see how hardcore I am?

Evan: *Punches wall*

Evan:

Evan: Take me to the hospital.

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Shapeshifter: *transforms to look like Jared*

Jared: Okay, are you like BLIND? You look nothing like me. First off, I'm way taller. Secondly, I DO NOT look so sleep deprived and lastly, if you could drag comb through that hair you're like a 7 on a good day and I've been told I'm a constant 10.

I'm reading The Picture of Dorian Gray and therefore they are reading The Picture of Dorian Gray