When Marvin Breaks Up With You You Get A Free Hat As A Consolation Prize

I had one a while ago that had a bunch of comics to go along with it but I kinda fell out of it 🤷

i think the world needs more spider-man x falsettos aus. please

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Incorrect Total Drama

Cody: I've done a lot of dumb stuff.

Gwen: I witnessed the dumb stuff.

Noah: I recorded the dumb stuff.

Harold: I joined in on the dumb stuff.

Courtney: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!!!

-

Beth: What if the person who made Walkie Talkies named everything?

Lindsay: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies

Cody: Socks are Feetie Heaties

Harold: Forks are Stabby Grabbies

Duncan: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties

Gwen: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies

Justin: Stamps are Lickie Stickies

Noah, annoyed: You are all disappointments.

-

Chef: Nothing in life is free.

Sierra: Love is free!!

Owen: Adventure is free!

Noah: Knowledge is free.

Duncan: Anything is free if you take it without paying.

-

Courtney: Are we really going to let Sierra keep Cody?

Gwen: We kept Duncan.

-

Sierra: Bye, Courtney! Bye, Gwen! Bye Cody! Bye Duncan! Bye Noah! Bye Cody!

Gwen: You said bye to Cody twice.

Sierra: I like Cody.

-

Gwen: Goodmorning.

Cody: Goodmorning.

Justin: Goodmorning.

Izzy: You all sound like robots! Try spicing it up a little bit!

Noah: Morning motherfuckers.

-

Eva: So my question is, my girlfriend keeps going into the pantry and grabbing handfuls of uncooked fettuccine-

DJ: I would hope that their not grabbing handfuls of cooked fettuccine!

Courtney: In the pantry!

Eva: She keeps eating them raw and calling them chips, how do I make her stop.

DJ: Is your girlfriend here?

Eva, motioning to Izzy: Yeah.

Courtney: You're a MONSTER! Words MEAN things! >:(

Cody: Does anybody remember- I haven't been to Olive Garden in many moons- but they do have, like, a fettuccine bottle that you can just grab out of- and chew-

Cody: NO, WAIT WAS THIS A PRANK YOU GUYS PULLED ON ME WHEN WE USED TO GO TO OLIVE GARDEN AS KIDS??

Cody: NO, STOP, EVERYBODY SHUT UP. DO THEY GIVE YOU RAW FETTUCCINE IN THE LOBBY AT OLIVE GARDEN-

Noah, walking past this insanity: No.

Cody, turning to DJ and Courtney: YOU FUCKIN' BASTARDS

DJ, trying to ignore that: YAYYYYY

Courtney, about Olive Garden: THE ~PRESTIGE~

-

Gwen: Favourite horror movie?

Duncan: IT.

Izzy: Saw!

Courtney: Annabelle.

Noah: High school Musical. After I watched it, I spent the rest of my middle school years thinking everyone would break out in song, and I'd be the only one who didn't know the lyrics.

-

Courtney: You really came all this way to see me? How did you even get here so fast?

Duncan: Several traffic violations.

Cody: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Noah: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

Gwen: Also, that isn't our car.

-

Harold: What's something you guys are better than Cody at?

Noah: Mario Kart.

Cody: Yeah. He beats me at video games a lot.

Owen: Emotional vulnerability.

-

We need more dark Noah moments.

Sierra: What does 'take out' mean?

Owen: Food.

Cody: Dating.

Noah: Murder.

Duncan: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOUR NOT A COWARD.

-

Cody: Why isn't that statue smirking at me?

Noah: It isn't smirking at anyone, their all just imagining it.

Cody: Three of them saw it, Noah, how do you explain that?

Noah: *Points at Gwen* Sleep deprivation. *Points at Trent* Paranoia. *Points at Duncan* Delusional personality disorder.

-

Courtney: Where are Trent and Gwen?

Duncan: Their off playing hide and seek.

Courtney: Where?

Duncan: I don't think you understand how this game works.

-

Chris: I am an idiot.

Lindsay:

Heather:

Courtney:

Duncan:

Cody:

Chef:

Beth:

Noah: If your waiting for us to disagree, it's going to be a long day.

---

no one ever talks about the bit in I Never Wanted To Love You where Jason says "love the things I never had" and Marvin and Trina reply "love our family" but OHHHH THAT LINE HURTSSS

Me, before posting a chapter on AO3: Wow. This is really good. The syntax, the inner turmoil, the grammar. Impeccable. 10/10

Me as soon as the chapter is live: yeah, no. I deserve to be shot.

can we though?

for a second?

and alternatively, can we discuss how whizzer is looking at marvin in this scene?

before marvin even turns, whizzer is looking at him with like- such a concerned and concentrated stare and it's because he's been in that hospital room for actual days just waiting for results.

he's genuinely worried about marvin, and he knows that he'll stay true to his words and won't leave whizzer's side despite the fact that his own mental and physical health are at risk.

he's pretty much just been slowly watching marvin get worse and worse (shown throughout the show, something i just think is kinda cool is that marvin gets... visibly more disheveled? or maybe that's just christian borle after like 7 costume changes i have no idea, either way tho).

can we talk about marvin looking all stressed but making sure to put on a smile before turning to whizzer

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IM CRYING SCREAMING THROWING UP

okay so I'm

I have been revealed to a whole new thing ─ assuming that this encounter was another teen boy, or if it's a metaphor for whizzer and him?

it's interesting because I've always seemed to notice that one line in nausea before the game, "the sneaking in, the passing out, and where to place the blame?"

I know that song was also a metaphor for his relationship with women, largely, but I'm so stumped and yet so excited because this opens a whole new door, I feel? or maybe I was just out of the loop? but this is so cool and to milo, OH MY GOD DUDE YOU ARE AWESOME!!

these new lyrics are so baffling and just... it's mind blowing how bill finn somehow strengthens my hyperfixations grip on me in a few lyrics, yk?

can someone with better ears PLEASE tell me what the fuck theyre saying here

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It's Quote Time Again (P- pt. 10? I think?Dk)

-

Jared: Do you consider me your friend?

Evan: Uh, yeah. What else would you be?

Jared: I don't know. An embarrassment? A way to rebel against Hedi? A desperate cry for help? The list is endless.

-

Zoe: Oh my god, Evan! Those pants look great! And I bet they would look even better on Jared's floor!

Jared: Did

Jared: Did you just hit on Evan... for me???

-

Connor: I'm thinking of a number-

Zoe: 420.

Connor: No, that's so fucking immature of you. Someone else guess.

Jared: 69.

Zoe: He literally just said-

Connor: Yeah, it was 69.

-

Evan: Mom, do you know anything about emails? Specifically how to fake them?

Heidi: Emails? Evan, what is this for?

Evan: . . .

Evan: Fun

-

Alana: Do you want to talk about it?

Jared: No, I just want to cry and watch memes.

-

Zoe: I had a dream that we got in a huge fight.

Connor: Who won?

Zoe: Me.

Connor: Yup. Definitely a dream.

-

Mark: We got a divorce.

Heidi: No, we messed up a perfectly good son. Look at it, it's got anxiety.

-

Alana: What does BDSM mean?

Jared: Being Dead Sounds Magnificent.

-

Alana: Why are people so caught up in top or bottom? Honestly, I would be super happy just to have a bunk bed!

Connor:

Evan:

Zoe:

Jared: I'm gonna tell her.

Zoe: Don't you dare

-

Evan: When was the last time you ate?

Jared: Food is a social construct created and perpetuated by large scale agricultural interests.

Evan: It's... it's really not.

-

Connor: It's hard to be the gay cousin, the emo cousin, and the family failure, but someone's gotta do it.

-

Alana: You should really get over Evan, Jared.

Jared: I'd rather get him under me.

Alana:

Alana: Touché.

-

Zoe: I dare you to kiss the next person that walks in the room.

Connor: Eh, no. That's stupid.

Miguel: *Walks in* Hey, anything cool happening in here?

Connor: Okay, well maybe I'll do it. Rules are rules, y'know...

-

Evan: Have you ever had a partner?

Jared: Nah.

Evan: Wha- how?!

Jared: *Shrugs* I dunno, never asked, never got asked.

Evan: *Under his breathe* But your kinda really hot though..

Jared: What?

Evan: What?

-

Jared: I fucked up. I fucked up,

Evan: Why? What happened?

Jared: I fucking fell for someone.

Evan: Damn. Must be someone really special for The Insanely Heartless and Cold Jared Kleinman to fall for them.

Jared, glaring at Evan: Yeah. Real special.

-

Connor: Miguel is out of town, I'm cutting off all of my shirt sleeves.

Alana: ...Why?

Connor: He's pretty much, like, %90 of my impulse control.

-

*SQUIPed Jared AU bcz I felt like it*

J's SQUIP: Straighten your back.

Jared: My back will be as gay as I want it to, fuck you.

-

Evan: Kiss, marry, kill: Me, Connor, Alana

Jared: Kiss Alana, marry you, kill Zoe.

Zoe: I wasn't even on the list, what the hell?

-

Zoe: Settle a bet, what day is it?

Jared: Friday?

Zoe: Well, well, well, looks like none of us got it right. This idiot thought it was Tuesday. *Looks at Connor*

-

Evan: I look back on being 17 and think:

Evan: "Oh my god, how did I not die?"

-

Evan: Why would you give Connor a knife?

Zoe, the tired younger but more mature sibling: He felt unsafe.

Evan: Well, now we feel unsafe! *Points to himself and Jared*

Zoe: I'm sorry,

Zoe: Do you want a knife?

-

Connor: My life is a little too much panic and not enough disco.

Evan: My life is a little too much fall and not enough boy.

Jared: My life is a little too much chemical and not enough romance.

Alana: My life is a little too much imagine and not NEARLY enough dragons.

-

Novel Evan: Okay! Step one of being popular: Be straight.

Novel Jared: *Exists*

Novel Evan, bi panicking: Okay! Failed step one!

-

Alana: When I was small-

Jared: *Snorts*

Jared: "was"

(He likes to feel tall)

-

Novel Evan: I'm pretty good at hiding crushes!

Novel Jared: *Walks in*

Novel Evan: I have to gay- I mean go

---

STOPP my mom just had a whole ass conversation with me like two days ago where she tried to explain that a relationship would fall apart without sex. and without sex, you're partner holding someone's hand on kissing someone else is the new sex.

NO. actually. not true guys. if I ever do have a partner in the future, them fucking holding someone's hand won't bother me. it won't be done with romantic connotation. they are allowed to breathe─ just because if I ever want a relationship I wouldn't want it to be sexual doesn't mean it doesn't matter? or it matters less??? buddy.

i didn't have "i'm broken" teenage asexual angst i had "i'm literally being the only reasonable one about this concept and the rest of you are behaving like fucking freaks" perception issues

---

Incorrect Quotes Are Nice

-

Jared: You really think I give a fuck? I can't even read.

-

Evan: Okay, okay. Stop asking me if I identify as gay, straight, bi, whatever. I identify as a FUCKING THREAT.

-

Connor: When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying 'Haven’t decided yet' is typically a good response.

-

Alana: Died, and came back as a cowboy. I call that reintarnation.

-

Jared: What doesn't kill me should run, because now i'm fucking pissed.

-

Evan: I was born for politics. I have great hair, and I love lying.

-

Zoe: Dear friends, your Christmas gift this year… is me. That’s right, another year of friendship. Your membership has been renewed.

-

Jared: Well, well, well, well... if it isn't my old friend: the dawning realization that I fucked up bad.

-

Alana: I'm going to defeat you with the power of friendship!! ....And this knife I found.

-

Jared: You'll have a hard time believing this because it never happens, but I made a mistake.

-

Connor: Goodnight moon, goodnight trees;

Connor: Goodnight ghosts that only I can see.

-

Jared: I'd like to offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals.

-

Evan: My life is as glamorous as my wanted poster makes it look like.

-

Jared: 'Person of interest' is too flattering.

Jared: Like, if the police were to pound on my door and go, 'A man has been murdered in your building, and you are a person of interest,' I'd be like, 'Moi? Oh, do go on.'

-

Zoe: BEHOLD, The field in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!

-

Alana: I’m sick and tired of being called 'mortal' like, you don’t know that. Neither do I. I have never died even ONCE. Nothing has been proven yet. Stop making assumptions. It’s rude.

-

Jared: I've come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than fuck

-

Connor: Fool me once, i'm gonna kill you

-

Evan: Schrödinger’s cat is overrated. If you wanna see something that’s both dead and alive you can talk to me any time of the day.

-

Jared: People are always asking me: 'Are you a morning person, or a night person?'

Jared: And I'm just like, 'Buddy, i'm barely even a PERSON!'

-

Evan: Some of you may die, but that's a sacrifice I am willing to make.

-

Zoe: With great power comes great need to take a nap.

Zoe: Wake me up later.

-

Jared: bitches b like “im baby” but have childhood trauma and neglect like wtf do u know about being baby u were forced to grow up from an early age anyways.

Jared: ...I’m bitches.

-

Connor: You seem familiar, have I threatened you before?

-

Jared: You can de-escalate any situation by simply saying, 'Are we about to kiss?'

Jared: Doesn't work for getting out of speeding tickets, by the way.

-

Connor, playing a VR game: You see, that’s the thing. It PROBABLY is fine. It’s PROBABLY 100% okay. There are PROBABLY no spiders in this headset.

Connor: BUT- as you may be able to relate to- If you find a spider in your headset, and then have to put that headset on to play video games...

Connor: YoU jUsT dOn'T gEt ToO cOMfOrTaBlE.

-

Alana, gesturing to a Halloween display: All these ghosts! All these ghosts, and I still can't find a boo!

-

Jared: So apparently the 'bad vibes' I've been feeling are actually severe psychological distress

-

Connor: Physically? Yeah, I could fight a bird. But, emotionally? Imagine the toll.

-

Evan: You wanna see how hardcore I am?

Evan: *Punches wall*

Evan:

Evan: Take me to the hospital.

-

Shapeshifter: *transforms to look like Jared*

Jared: Okay, are you like BLIND? You look nothing like me. First off, I'm way taller. Secondly, I DO NOT look so sleep deprived and lastly, if you could drag comb through that hair you're like a 7 on a good day and I've been told I'm a constant 10.

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you die on may 27th at 8