One Way Magic

What Happened?

What happened to us?

What's with all the fuss?

How do you not know why you texted her?

My friend said that it wouldn’t be a good idea to get back with you; I concur

I'm afraid to call you an oaf

Since you still have my loaf

I don’t want to call you a nitwit

Even if that word perfectly fits

I don’t want to call you what you still are

To me what you are seems so far

I don’t want to say

You never really loved me all those days

We had, I had plenty of good thoughts

For you, I unfortunately had the wrong timed hots

No matter how badly you want to get back with me

Well now you'll get to feel how I did when I disagreed

It wasn’t a smart thing to do

This love was true

You literally ruined it for your good

You loved her, I understood

Now without you distracting me

I can get a good degree

You now are going to end up all alone

Even if you try to phone

I'm not going back to my heartbreaker

You were my heart taker

You better never say that I never loved

Last time I believed you when you sent your doves

This break up doesn’t really hurt

It will though, just wait for her dirt!

Inside

The past is the past

It may not have been the best

Let’s just leave it at that

But soon I'll be free from this wrecked nest

Right now it's not fun

It's those memories

I should hurry up, get over it and be done

Families that feel like enemies

The stares that pierce through you

They judge

But they don't have a clue

Their stubborn heads won't budge

I now look forward, so don't make me look back

I will be better someday

I won the treasure by slapping the jack

I didn't mean it like that way

No one to trust

No one to hold and clutch

Heat full of tumble weeds and dust

Not even a love touch

I was invisible

They didn't care

But anything is live-able

So I built my own lair

They didn't pay attention either

Suck it up and deal

Never got a breather

No one cares how I really feel

Say that you love me then break me like a china plate

Why did you make me sit on a towel?

Well now you're too late

Never had good bowels

Always felt out of place

I'm sorry but some things can't be forgiven

After things happened I don't feel safe

But I'm going to keep on live'n

Always felt different and weird

In a bad way

I tried to make all of it disappear

Nobody I wanted ever stayed

Tears roll'n down my cheek

They hit the floor like glass

The feelings that are deep down are antique

It can happen that fast

I've learned how to turn myself into a rock

Always picking up my own head

It causes me to have writers block

While people eat the meat, I don't whine and take the bread

No one cared if my head drooped down

I was forced to walk alone

They ignored me when one my face there was a frown

That's when my heart turned to stone

Grades

Just watching your grades drop down to failure

What specific grade makes you a failure?

At what point are you considered a success?

If a 65 is passing, what’s so bad about a 64?

Are you a failure if you have a 0?

Or are you beating the system of grades;

And beating the government?

The difference between a 100 and a 0

Is just one

One point, that’s all

So let me make a good one

When we meet we shall laugh about those bad grades

And those teachers who said you were going nowhere

And all the classes that laughed at you and took you as a joke

School doesn’t teach you life; life does that

School is just an old factory that produces brainwashed people

You are taught to want to graduate and move onto college

Then get a job, fall in love and have a family

But for you and me

We need something different!

I Am Not Your Smooth

Smooth

Smooth

Groove

I can say I made it out alive

I can say that all the times I got pied

Humiliated, it felt like you, snide

Groove

Smooth

Smooth

You seem needy for a female

When will you realize, I will not be for sale?

For news you're stale

Smooth

Groove

Smooth

You wish you had this one

Away from that one guy I'll run

By someone else my heart has been nicely won

You are not smooth

You're vain which is not my groove

Please stop thinking I am your smooth

NCCC

Never

Certain

Correctness

Current

Now

Cognitive

Correlation

Censor

New

College

Care

Collection

Noticed

Color

Confuse

Create

Trip

Swat

Soot

Positive

Treacherous

Stretch

Strengthen

Progress

Are You On My Team?

I'm not great at playing offense

Let's get that out of the way

But it's nice to meet you

I don't hit home runs

But I know how to throw

Like an underdog

I am defensive when I'm not talking

It's the thing I can do

It's really just the illusion of control

Being offensive

Is a thing that I can't really seem to be able to do

I'm too nice

So I don't set boundaries

Or go around punching people in the face

Because some people probably deserve it

I'm more of a pitcher

Of complaints

Rather than a batter

So

Before you go I must ask,

Are you on my team?

Situation Impossible

Just wishing and hoping ain't gonna do nothing

It’ll just make it worse

But I do it anyway because I'm cursed

  Desire equals suffering

So don’t wait and hope

Before you open your big mouth you might as well fill it with soap

  If I desire not to desire anything that’s a desire

I love you but I can't fully have you

What am I supposed to do?

  I can't win with fire

The things I wish I could tell

I want you to just know why I may not be so well

  When should I stop having just a spark of hope?

It's 1 in the morning

And I'm mourning

  I'm beginning to realize that enough is enough, no more of this nope!

I think about you a bunch

I probably never even cross your mind from time to time ever much

  You are only somewhat removed

Now it's 1:08

And you are what I now hate

  Out of my life my safe person always moves

I need someone like you

I can't really tell you but I wish and hope that you knew

  I feel like puking I don’t want to be seen

Needing you so much I'm sick

This sickness cannot be fixed with vicks

  1:13

By the minute I'm getting older

You are warm and I don’t think I can get much colder

  Wishing waiting and hoping

In this situation it is impossible

I'm so sick I need the hospital

  I don’t know what I'm thinking, I have to find a new way of coping

1:21

Thinking about you I should be done

Cold

I'm so cold

I won't be able to sleep tight

I'm not done with this fight

I'm so clammy cold

I need time

And for that person who has a crush

I can't make a decision my brain is mush

If only I had time

I need something in my side

I was just a silly goose

But then all hell broke loose

Someone to help guide

Too stressed

I can't think

Staring at the wall I refuse to blink

I can't function my best

A cure for the cold would be a warm hug

But not for this grinning little punk

A hug would not fix a heart that has already sunk

Too late, too bad you're a slug

How can someone help me?

They can't, my problems of empty love are ungratefully big

I'll tell you everything when there are flying, majestic pigs

Through me, it feels like you can see

I'm stuck

And you can't do much

For you can't touch

I'm afraid you seriously can't help,yuck!

I'll live my life cold

At least I get to live

The downside is I'll have nothing to give

Nothing lasts not even a heart of gold

The English

Streetlights changing

Shooting me into the past

Watching small raindrops collect

While I cannot collect my thoughts

Making it look like the glass is chipping

Until the windshield glasses over in a mosaic

Feeling the cold slipping in but I don’t mind

Feeling a shiver creep up my back

Reminding me of you

I take a breath

And I grab my bag and pretend that I'm putting on my armor

Suiting up

To go riding on a drunken horse, slipping on mud

While holding my breath underwater

And the English have longbows

It’s raining arrows that point me in the wrong direction

This is night

This is what I wanted

Now that I have it

I miss the struggle

A Meeting

There was no point in making me join my meeting

Because my thoughts were fleeting

Because I'm too fucking anxious to share my voice, please spare me from the madness

I couldn't even share a simple greeting You asked if I had any questions, comments, or if I have anything to say

And I do... but I guess anxiety doesn't want me to talk today

No, not even now

In this month of May The nurse isn't my cup of tea

And I feel that I am allowed no privacy,

This makes me very uncomfortable as a teenage girl and,

Details of my butthole are obviously my favorite topic for stranger to know about me The thing is, if I was dying,

If I was crying

I'd prefer to stay and sit in class rather than go anywhere else

I'm not lying She thinks I'm stable

And yet she's a mere stranger in my life and I probably still have proctitis on my table

I have so much on my plate it has overflowed

But I'll find a way to be able Having a bad stomach and anxiety make a perfect match that work

They are a dangerous loop that lurks,

In my background when I say that I'm okay

Yeah, I am a little jerk I'm still anxious and I don't sleep at night

Because my brain is playing back all the mistakes and times that I wasn't right

And how embarrassing it was, and how I will probably never live it down

And tomorrow will just be another blurred day of living in the fog of this mental, intestinal fight