This One Guy

Grades

Just watching your grades drop down to failure

What specific grade makes you a failure?

At what point are you considered a success?

If a 65 is passing, what’s so bad about a 64?

Are you a failure if you have a 0?

Or are you beating the system of grades;

And beating the government?

The difference between a 100 and a 0

Is just one

One point, that’s all

So let me make a good one

When we meet we shall laugh about those bad grades

And those teachers who said you were going nowhere

And all the classes that laughed at you and took you as a joke

School doesn’t teach you life; life does that

School is just an old factory that produces brainwashed people

You are taught to want to graduate and move onto college

Then get a job, fall in love and have a family

But for you and me

We need something different!

18

The age of adulthood

And as my birthday makes its arrival

I wish you would I am scared for the future

The one that doesn’t include you

Coming undone is my suture I don’t know how long I can dream

It seems like a waste of time

When I’m oh so close to breaking at the seams 0 to 18

So far it’s been mostly pain, anxiety and depression

I’m so sorry babe, that your face is turning green A simple question, yes or no?

I shall never dare to be rude and just simply ask

Either stay or go I’m not an adult yet

People do say that I’m really mature

But I don’t even have a set I’m scared but full of grit

And yet I sit

Never quit I don’t know why

But sometimes I wish I wasn’t born

And other times I wish to die I don’t know why

I almost forgot my birthday for once

Babe, you shouldn’t fly with that sty in your poor, blue, eye Swollen, bloodshot eyes

That have been accused of not working hard enough, after an all-nighter

Babe don’t believe the lies Happy birthday

To the one with the story of bad gut and disease

Baby please, you made it all this way

Strong?

I change daily

I'm not far from the brink

Closer than you may think

The word strong used on me, is laughable

I'm mad instead of joking gaily

I'm mad as hell

In a mess of my written words, I'm loud and mean and mad!

Then I become sad

Those two last line words are so vague

In this place I need to rebel

Oh, Ms. Hale

You can’t see it but I'm kicking and screaming!

I'm wonderstruck trying to stop myself from dreaming

I am scared of words; I'm scared to speak the name Voldemort!

I want to pay my own bail

Amy,

I believe you are temptingly wrong,

About me being superhumanly strong

That’s just not human and I'm just a little homo sapien,

Living in a big world, that can’t tame me

Just because of a worksheet, not your notepad

You think I have great strength on the inside

Yes I can be snide

Does that make sense?

I’m just saying, I'm stubbornly mad

No Strings Attached

I've got a violin with no strings attached

This bow is flying like arrows do

Either war

Or cupid

Someone is bowing my heart

In every direction

And I can feel the passion

Leaping off the floor,

Like someone stepping on a nail

There is a lullaby needed

To pull at the strings that

Are attached to my heart

Knowing that, never

Can be a reality

I live behind these never strings

Like I'm living in a dungeon without

A king

To rescue me from

This violin

This tied bow

On the present

Of this rosen life

First One About You

Theater is life

Someone kept stealing my lines though…

Soooo…

How’s the weather?

Its ever changing, wasn't that clever?   How was school?

Did anything interesting happen?

No answer, oh he was just napp’n

This isn't awkward, it’s just weird

I think this is what I feared   I know that you have a crush

But I don’t know anyone

Can’t you just be gone?

I'm just scared

Because you care   I like to be alone

I'm single

I don’t want a boy to break my heart like a pringle

I've been hurt so many times

You would know if you read all of my rhymes   Can you take me?

Am I ready for a big jump?

Should I prepare for another painful heart thump?

I think that your crush is just lust

Right now your love I don’t really trust   Hey.

Do you even know the difference between lust and love?

I want to try you on and see if you fit like a glove

Sometimes I do get lonely

Maybe all of you is just baloney   I should get my head straightened out

Are you the one?

Should we become Suan?

I need to stop making jokes out of your name

For now I'm glad you came   Do you really want this?

Do you want this terribly stubborn mess

Don’t expect anymore, or any less

If I could just make up my mind

Boy, you seem kind   Thanks to Facebook

You said, “Hi”

What if you ever saw me cry?

Baby

Maybe someday you'll save me   I still remember that time

When you were telling a mini story

In all your glory

When you pulled me off the couch, I was a sour lime

But you asked, “Babe can you please be mine?”

Lachrymorose

Seconds away from crying

This Hoover Dam of an eyelid is doing a good job

But it’s seconds away from breaking

All these tears dammed up inside could make Lake Lachrymose,

Leeches, Aunt Josephine and all

That was until she took the fall...

Tears on a cliff

Stacked up on a penny

About to spill over the thin edge

My hot tears

Have the potential

To set this place on fire

I know that

If I were to let them tumble down

They would burn my flesh with streams of lava

Droplets from the sun

Rain from Venus

This salt water is boiling within

Like tears from Rappaccini’s daughter

I am on my own

For I am poison

But I refuse to let them fall

Like pieces of hell

Raining from the ceiling

This Cannot Be Natural

I want to stay

Cradled in between

Sweetly smooth melodies

Where I let my fingers go wandering freely

Humming the notes

That I did not take during calculus class

The reason was that I was busy dreaming of an impossible life

That’s what happens to me

When I feel stuck in between the bars without a single key

My signature move of not paying attention,

To the epsilon-delta definition of a limit

And honestly, I might have just found my mathematical limit of brain power

The tone of my voice has gotten beaten down

I cannot learn at this fast tempo

For the next bunch of weeks, I'm stuck with the strings attached

I try to simply count it out but it doesn’t add up

I don’t know how to measure

The slope of my own tangents

I put my signature on a piece of paper that says

This summer class requires a ton of deadication or it could easily result in failure

And now I feel

The sharp pain

That makes me fall flat

On my back

I can feel the anxious vibrato

Building up in my hands

Maybe I need a rest

This cannot be natural

I Need My Feet to Forget

I need my feet to forget what motion feels like

Moving unnaturally fast

I need to stay rooted right now

I need time to think

My feet need to forget

What flying feels like

Because I keep nose diving

And maybe its just a part of learning

Maybe I have to suck first

It just seems like others don’t suck

And I'm the only one

Left behind in the dust

I cant stand up because

My feet refuse to forget

Silly feet,

Don’t you know that flying is unnatural?

Dear feet,

Please leave the job of flying

To the wings

Dear feet, you can run

I need my balance

I so should stick to the ground for now

I'm tired of being dizzy

And feeling bigger than I actually am

I'm tired of your illusion

I am the kind of person

That is dangerous

Once I know speed

So I need my feet to forget

What they now know

My feet need to forget the sky

And instead feel the grass, dirt, and tar

Sort Of Straightforward

Don’t feel

Don’t show just so you can eat at least one more free meal

In your case

I must keep a strong unmoving poker face

You think that it’s rude for me not to answer

Tell me to get depressed for someone because of their lung cancer

Instead I think they need some cheer

And encouragement for them to face their fears

I don’t tell you how I feel

Because you would tell me it’s not normal and what I'm feeling is unreal

That I made it all up in my head

I'm crazy is what your body language said

When I do answer you, you tell me to stop talking back

And tell me that manners are what I sadly lack

You tell me you don’t like my tone

I would never tell you how much I want to puke at the smell of your cologne

Maybe my tone is bad but it’s not as bad as your writing font

You like to remind me that the troubles I have ahead of me are something to daunt

If I admit that something hurts then I get called a baby

You’d think that I was too much of a wuss to join the navy

Tell me I'm tough but act like I'm the weakest of the weak

I'm not brave enough to find help to seek

“No one’s going to get hurt here”

I could!  You would tell certain people is my fear

I wouldn’t trust you even If you promised, you could so very easily go behind my back

Oldness is what I lack

When you ever did know how I felt

You’d lecture me on how stupid I am for feeling it, then hit me hard with an imaginary belt

Because of that I would prefer to keep you in the dark

I might not be able to live through another mark

I just can’t have you know

If you ever found out, I’ll get buried in icy sharp, wet snow

But no matter how numb I am, I still feel

All my feelings are strong and real!

Screaming About Nothing

Lately everybody has been screaming about nothing

While I have been thinking about something

I write too much

And say too little

But maybe my words were just meant for paper

Lately it feels like my only friends

Are my colorful pens

Lately it seems like relationships are just dead ends

That die as fast as well spent weekends

I hang on like a loose tooth

That doesn’t believe that the tooth fairy afterlife is the truth

I feel like I stick around like an old cold

That’s got a gnarly hold

And I tell myself to

Put down the needle

Put down the thread

And stop sowing this tangled web

But I've got spiders in my hair

Arachnids are everywhere

I'm cursed

But I will wait

Until you become my prey

Someday