Created This Chat For You On Tumblr... For Every Poetic Heart...

Days turn into weeks turn into months turn into years Time flies by in a blink of eye So many things we wanted So many thing we tried So many things we got So many tears dried. In our race against time We live, we loath , we cry Till the time comes, one day we realise In the wait of death, the end of our time, we rushed everything. We rushed life, and forgot to live and passed our precoius time by

-mauli ♡

Under the Stars

I lay .

Under the Moon,

I play.

Under the Sun,

I light up.

Under these lights,

I pray,

Giving healing the space,

To take place.

Is it your poetic gaze, those damn poetic eyes, or just my poetic heart, the very reason why every part of you each way you exist, is the most beautfiul possession that i can ever call mine....

-mauli ♡

Life goes on,

Ignoring my pain and blues

Life goes on,

No matter what i choose.

They asked , then what's the point living,

when all we're headed to, is death?

I tried to find that answer myself

but failed hard, somehow.

Until Now.

Looking back at all that,

i dont weep, but ponder,

if death is all it is about

then we wouldn't have been alive

in the first place!

It's not about ending, in the end.

It's about making everything about my end

worth dying for.

It's about making a life, worth living.

Making all my time between

life and death

worth remembering,

is all what it is about.

-mauli

"The Wish I'll Wish every time I Wish"

I ask for so much every time ,

from you ,my lord.

But now I want to wish a wish ,

that I wish you can afford .

It's to keep ,

the sky above me blue always ,

the world around my world green,

and the night filled with stars always. 

Don't let the man-made black ,

ruin my night's hue,

or ruin my far horizon ,

or ever lessen my view.

The devil shan't reign the land of yours ,

never shall the tranquil eyes fade .

Make us strong to hold the world ,

strong against the we made. 

May we make the air as clear ,

air as clear a heart I seek ,

hope, for everyone who has been hurt 

and has been living in bleak .

Give us the strength to revive ,

the land we used to thrive upon, 

the magic liquid that flowed through rivers ,

the sunlight we have been worshiping for long .

Keep the birds singing on trees ,

and the trees held strong always. 

Don't give us enough, to darken 

the blue that fills our sky always ...  

Support the human in each girl... Nothing is simply a girl thing, we are half the world, we are different in all our unique ways. Hell, we are humans ,man! No two humans are the same , that is true diversity, keep that safe. We are half the world and half the world is in our minds. Embrace that , cuz we are no more, no less, just human, trying to find our own beautiful way of being. Let. Us. Be.

Protect weird girls. Ya know…. the ones that used to make up intricate games on the playground about ghosts and saving the world. The ones that used to have a whole BOX of fucking rolly pollies and worms. Those girls that used to have mason jars FULL of fucking god knows WHAT on their mother’s back porch. Protect… girls. Girls that daydream too much. Girls that could go out to Walmart dressed in cow girl boots, and a faux fur coat. Girls that invent whole other worlds in their heads. Girls that love too much. Girls that don’t love quite enough. Girls that don’t look, or sound the way society expects them to. Loud girls. Quiet girls. Angry girls. Sad girls. Support girls being themselves, and being unapologetic about it. The ones that get labeled “weird” for simply existing and being brave enough to not dim themselves down, just because society tells them, too. The girls that never lost their magic once they grew up. Support weird girls. 

Making mistakes and committing sins is only okay when you learn something from it and grow... If you can't learn something from your them, being okay with it is not okay and not worth it....

Just found it at the time in my life where i was asking myself, "why isnt my life and ME normal? Why cant i be carefree and reckless and ignorant for once!?" Here, my inspiration just gave me the answer...

“No one is remembered for being normal.”

— Albert Einstein

Speak less, mean more

Weirdly enough, this is one of my comfort songs.

(turn the music on before reading, you'll get me better)

I listen to it as i imagine him singing it to me.

Holding me carefully, not too little or i might fall apart, not too much or i might break. We sway slowly side to side, in each other's arms, just for a moment passing by, as i shed all my unseen tears. I imagine that he cares, he cares that he never cared for me like i did for him. I imagine him singing this to my poor soul, telling me that he'd only make me cry, because it would make more sense than my idea of "us". We sway with the wind brushing our sorrows away, somehow my sorrow held onto my heart for him and took it away as well. So as long as this song fills the room, we're the only two that exist, only two that matter. And as long as this plays, it matters to him that i never mattered to him as he did to me. He knows, he shows, he sees, he's sorry.

But the song ends, and so does this pitiful fantasy. Reality comes rushing in...

I had him on my mind , ingrained in my brain. I made playlists for him in hopes the melodies might convey a fraction of my affection. I saved posts that i would send him if he was ever mine. I wrote him poems, which were some of my best works. I had a whole digital diary of him, secret albums of pictures of him, especially of ones which i took, if he could see himself through my eyes, him smiling wide with glistening eyes, maybe he would also want to capture and safeguard every nuisance of his beauty; and also, there is that folder of pictures my friends took of us together in one frame, accidentally of course.

I thought of being near him all the time, i thought of his wellbeing, i wished for him to know how perfect he was. Is. And he doesn't know any of this. I had him written all over my life for about an year, and he will have no idea how deep it goes.

He never led me on, he never did anything that would "make" me feel something about him nor did he drop hints that he felt something, he didn't have to, i guess, because i was never delusional, just utterly smitten...

(but then, what business did those eyes have, meeting mine??)

One day, i gave in to this agony and said to him that i liked him, and he said it was ok, i was his friend, this won't change anything. He was the nicest about it. But I still wonder, what if I would have said so much more, only if he could hear so much more... if he could, I'd tell him,

how like is something i did to a stranger at the airport who i talked to for a few minutes,

how like doesn't do justice to the gravity with which i was falling,

how like is what my mouth says, while my heart goes on to describe his beautiful piscine eyes, as the deepest ocean I'd drown in,

how like is what i wished it was, because it wasn't love of course, something less, something very one sided, but something so true.

If only i could tell him, i missed him when he was out of sight or even when he was right in front of my eyes, i fell for his laugh and his smile and his eyes and his lips and his hair and his hands and how he treated everyone respectfully, and his brain, and how he was so in love with his family, and how he was just a beautiful human being...

If i told him, i felt the familiarity of falling the first day i met him, if i told him i never wanted to be just friends, if i told him i would cherish him in every way he deserves...

Would it have made a difference? Would our story have a different ending?

I like to think

no.

I still don't know how to be that for someone else what he was to me.

Was? .... Is?....

no.

For the sake of my damn heart and the amount of love overflowing from it, it should not be an "is".

Was.

"Was" is where it should belong.

So I'll listen to "cry" again and imagine him singing again as we sway back and forth and I'll imagine i cry my unseen tears and pretend that

this is what my closure is.