Lovely , Just Lovely !!

We as humans, don't seek improvement in the pursuit of perfection. Rather, the ability of constant improvement is itself the perfection we seek.

(og)

will be shook, when you look at me now.

regained what you took, will be wondering how.

a page in my book, now i'm so over thou

my growth off the hook, you'll be takin a bow...

(Og)

The kind of legacy I would want to leave...

Imagine you're a writer, and there are people scribbling in the margins of your books, underlining their favorite passages, leaving makeshift bookmarks between the pages (subway tickets, library receipts, handwritten notes), reading excerpts out loud to their friends and lovers or to themselves just to feel the words on their tongue, memorizing quotes and then copying them in their notebooks, daydreaming about your characters and excitingly speculating about what's going to happen to them in the sequel, writing reviews in their school newspaper.

✨🧡🌙SEND THIS TO TEN OTHER BLOGGERS YOU THINK ARE WONDERFUL. KEEP THE GAME GOING ✨🧡

lots of love to you @vantaerayleigh1997 your blog has my heart! ^u^

Weirdly enough, this is one of my comfort songs.

(turn the music on before reading, you'll get me better)

I listen to it as i imagine him singing it to me.

Holding me carefully, not too little or i might fall apart, not too much or i might break. We sway slowly side to side, in each other's arms, just for a moment passing by, as i shed all my unseen tears. I imagine that he cares, he cares that he never cared for me like i did for him. I imagine him singing this to my poor soul, telling me that he'd only make me cry, because it would make more sense than my idea of "us". We sway with the wind brushing our sorrows away, somehow my sorrow held onto my heart for him and took it away as well. So as long as this song fills the room, we're the only two that exist, only two that matter. And as long as this plays, it matters to him that i never mattered to him as he did to me. He knows, he shows, he sees, he's sorry.

But the song ends, and so does this pitiful fantasy. Reality comes rushing in...

I had him on my mind , ingrained in my brain. I made playlists for him in hopes the melodies might convey a fraction of my affection. I saved posts that i would send him if he was ever mine. I wrote him poems, which were some of my best works. I had a whole digital diary of him, secret albums of pictures of him, especially of ones which i took, if he could see himself through my eyes, him smiling wide with glistening eyes, maybe he would also want to capture and safeguard every nuisance of his beauty; and also, there is that folder of pictures my friends took of us together in one frame, accidentally of course.

I thought of being near him all the time, i thought of his wellbeing, i wished for him to know how perfect he was. Is. And he doesn't know any of this. I had him written all over my life for about an year, and he will have no idea how deep it goes.

He never led me on, he never did anything that would "make" me feel something about him nor did he drop hints that he felt something, he didn't have to, i guess, because i was never delusional, just utterly smitten...

(but then, what business did those eyes have, meeting mine??)

One day, i gave in to this agony and said to him that i liked him, and he said it was ok, i was his friend, this won't change anything. He was the nicest about it. But I still wonder, what if I would have said so much more, only if he could hear so much more... if he could, I'd tell him,

how like is something i did to a stranger at the airport who i talked to for a few minutes,

how like doesn't do justice to the gravity with which i was falling,

how like is what my mouth says, while my heart goes on to describe his beautiful piscine eyes, as the deepest ocean I'd drown in,

how like is what i wished it was, because it wasn't love of course, something less, something very one sided, but something so true.

If only i could tell him, i missed him when he was out of sight or even when he was right in front of my eyes, i fell for his laugh and his smile and his eyes and his lips and his hair and his hands and how he treated everyone respectfully, and his brain, and how he was so in love with his family, and how he was just a beautiful human being...

If i told him, i felt the familiarity of falling the first day i met him, if i told him i never wanted to be just friends, if i told him i would cherish him in every way he deserves...

Would it have made a difference? Would our story have a different ending?

I like to think

no.

I still don't know how to be that for someone else what he was to me.

Was? .... Is?....

no.

For the sake of my damn heart and the amount of love overflowing from it, it should not be an "is".

Was.

"Was" is where it should belong.

So I'll listen to "cry" again and imagine him singing again as we sway back and forth and I'll imagine i cry my unseen tears and pretend that

this is what my closure is.

Life is short, live everyday....

That's just what everyone might say.

But life,

It's BIG.

It's LONG.

Oh heck, it's WIDE!

Let no one tell you otherwise.

Your first 20yrs may seem like the assurance of a "happily ever after" if done correctly.

But there is no correct way.

Everyday, may seem like you are not doing anything worth, life is so short.

But it's not.

Take your time.

Do things you love and do something for your loved ones.

Yes, there is a lot of time for most of us,

But remember , there is no time to waste.

Yes life's unpredictable.

And that is another reason for you ,to do you, everyday, step by step.

No, long life isn't assured, but if we make ourselves miserable thinking our life will be better if we do a 1000 things a day, we are still wasting it

No one will live our life.

We will.

Embrace each day you get, cuz many don't get a next day.

Live like you have to live forever.

Speed things up for your excitement, not because your life will be ruined if you don't.

You. Have. Time.

A lot. Or. A little.

You. Have. Control.

Live time. It's not to waste.

-mauli

Find

Want to find, a heart in brine. As irregular as it goes, but finds symmetry in mine.

Want to find, a brain in pieces , a piece for love and a piece of wise, and takes on them in beautiful leases

Want to find , a hand in action, of kindness to the world yet wanting just a fraction.

7 billion people on this land of god, walking here and there, fully absorbed in ignorance and rush, and I wonder if I'll meet a soul ,for whom my soul is lobbed.. (21.11.19)

If you get this, answer with three random things about yourself and send this to the last seven blogs in your notifications anonymously or not! Let's get to know the person behind the blog! ☺️

Thanks for asking this!

So 3 things about me....Let's see:

I am 17yr old Indian girl

2. i love taking pictures of the sky

3. I am OBSESSED with every form of creative writing, be it poetry, essay, story, ballads, songs, shayaris etc. i am obsessed.

btw this is my first ever ask, so thanks for that! :D

Lucky to have realized, that being Alone and being Lonely are indeed two different things. One doesn't bother you and other makes you miserable...

aw hell yeah !!

“Shoutout to myself because after everything I’ve been through, I still have a good heart”

— Unknown