I Crave The Stability Of Change The Comings And Goings Of People Of Emotions Of Attachments And The Letting

One day we will wake up And we'll be older One will suddenly wake up Wondering why she feels colder One of us won't wake up at all A fallen soldier One day there will just be one of us A somber loner One day the second will wake up In a place the first will hold her One day we won't wake up We won't get older

I will live alone Detached But I will be no spinster Perhaps instead A weaver Of loose threads That flow to me Over salty waves, making Their landing In the sands of a Beach I will never visit So the seagulls Will carry your damaged Pieces of fabric Home to me

We used to be birds In a cage together When we thought We wanted to live there

Now we soar high In different weather Spreading wings In the same open air

I've seen you in clouds I'll see you forever I flew to the heavens You flew everywhere

My impermanent lover Made out of snow I rolled him up Just the way I wanted Lumpy and imperfect

He was quiet and sturdy Such a stoic His embrace was cold And we both knew That this was a fling

A jealous squirrel Came and ate his nose Broke his arms Scrambled his face Kicked off his hat

I sat by my drooping Deformed man of ice For the snow had Been dripping and He refroze so crookedly

One day he fell down His heart melted How dramatic of him To die in a puddle As if it were romantic

Quiet. There is only quiet. I speak without moving my lips, Without clearing my throat. This voice belongs only to my mind now. It is soft and tender. Words are harsh.

My voice does not criticize me anymore, I have tamed it from the feral creature It once was. Down now, down. My voice wears a collar Though I do not keep it on a leash.

Silent. I am a silent person now. Yes, I speak with lips moving, I converse when I have to.

Is this living? Being a worldly mute? Yes, my voice and I are surviving. Survival is all we can tolerate.

No one reads an open book They only tear out handfuls Of their favorite pages Give the binding a final look Tossing it into the fire That scatters then rages

Stories of magic hidden A life so private Gone up in the smoke The erasure of the forbidden Secrets of the temple ashen No wondering mind to provoke

Clear blue skies over the snow caps A calm, the rustle of branches Their snow thudding against the ground snow Thump, says snow, as it falls

Then a cracking sound, not unlike a tree falling A rumbling not unlike an earthquake All the birds take flight at once One black plume of fearful retreating

Shifting, sliding, crashing and rolling Snow is peaceful, it is gentle Until it breaks in the trembling Until the mountains shake it off to bury us

It is a beautiful day as the avalanche forms Serene even, as ice and snow thunders down Or it was, before the gentle thing became a terror Like all of earth which strikes awe, it does strike

As the sun rises out Of the early morning sky I shelter my eyes as It winks at me And I am warmed By the secret between us Of how days are made

Shine brightly, my sun Or are you shy today? Linger behind The safety of a cloud And if you are sad I won't look for you In your escape into rain

The bones in my legs Are no bones at all They are leaden and heavy And it took me a long time To accept that I Needed some help just To learn how to stand

You ask me to walk Like it is easy Because everyone with Skin and muscle can do so Because though you may know The lead is not Visible to you And your understanding of me

So when you hang your head When you are short with me And I am trying to move And I am so tired And you are upset What else can I do But resign to apology?

I am floating in the earth's Ink, a night dew

My eyes have turned a kind Of lost dark blue They are someone else's eyes I have never seen through This particular hue

This is not my color I am so blue So blue, so blue

I'll slip behind these navy Stars, just to avoid the view