Soldier Acts A Lot Like Homer Simpson. Most Of The Time He’s An Utter Idiot With A Crayon Up His Nose

HELLO HI THERE!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU BY THE WAY!!! i think its your birthday,, hopefully im not late!

do you have a favorite color?

hi@!! mg um vaguely related but you are officially my second ask ever (i think? ignoring the test one i did a while back LMAO) thank you so much! it's still my birthday and this made me very happy loll umm favorite color would have to be...blue? usually my default choice, since my best friend's favorite color is red and red and blue go together :D

TF2 Headcanons: Clones

This has been simmering for a bit, so here is what’s been cooked up so far. 

So basically, the entire BLU team are clones of the RED team. The RED team was doing so well against the original BLU team that they decided to clone the RED team. What better enemy than yourself, right? Well, Blutarch was rather upset with this. In my eyes, Blutarch is smarter than Redmond, but not smart enough to avoid this entire gravel war. He decided that the clones needed to be better than the RED team. Each BLU mercenary will be practically the same person as their RED counterpart, but there are key differences, some of which being their names. Here is the list of changes:

Scout: 

- Not much was changed about him, but BLU Scout was made to be less talkative. It was assumed that Scout’s ability to constantly ramble on would be an annoyance, but they were wrong. Scout’s constant blabbering on the RED team was a key factor in their cooperation.

Soldier:

- They removed his patriotism for America, since they thought his obsession with it was stupid. But since BLU Soldier isn’t patriotic, he doesn’t really have a reason to fight. RED Soldier was fighting for his country against the commies, but BLU Soldier is just a guy with a rocket launcher.

Pyro:

- I headcanon that Pyro is just a flameproof suit brought to life with magic (more on that in a later post). It’s pretty hard to replicate magic though, so BLU Pyro is just a robot. His design was key in Grey Mann’s takeover, as it was the first robot mercenary.

Demo:

- Made him sober. Problem is, what made RED Demo so unpredictable was his drunkedness. BLU Demoman is stronger than RED Demo, with more precise attacks that do more damage. However, he is much more predictable, and therefore easier to dodge. 

Heavy: 

- Pretty much unchanged. He can speak English better though, but that doesn’t do anything since there is no trust on the BLU team.

Engineer:

- More cooperative and less insane. Straight up improvement, except he’ll listen to anyone and everyone on the BLU team, even if they tell him to do something stupid since he’s desperate for appreciation.

Medic: 

- Not as insane. But RED Medic’s insanity is what led to so many breakthroughs on the team. RED was definitely first to discover the power of most Mediguns, since BLU Medic is a tad more squeamish about shoving a heart into a ribcage with no anesthesia.

Sniper:

- Them: “Make him stop pissing in jars it’s disgusting”

Sniper with no Jarate and now down one of his most powerful weapons: “ok”

Seriously though, BLU Sniper just doesn’t scare off the RED Spy as much as the RED Sniper. Piss is the only thing preventing that knife from lodging in his back.

Spy:

- A Spy’s job is to trust no one, and BLU Spy follows that to the end. He will not hesitate to stab all of his teammates in the back. He’ll never come out of his shell like the RED Spy did. But just like Engineer, he seeks appreciation for his job. 

The amount of work and money it took to clone the original team was too much, and they were stuck with these clones. In the end, the BLU team hated each other while the RED team depended on each other. Cooperation is key in an endless war over gravel, and if the BLU team doesn’t master that soon, they’ll soon be having a problem on their hands.

(The BLU team mercs would have the same backstory as the RED team mercs,  their only difference being their names.)

i guess you could say that the real victory was the friends we made along the way-

[ If anyone ever uses these headcanons for anything, I would like credit. I just want to establish some sort of presence on the internet, I guess. I’ve come up with ideas in my head that someone else online writes up a day before I even write it down. ]

it’s like christmas morning

hi I'm accepting 5 art requests about tf2 pls tell me if my ask box is working also no ship art pls because am not comfy with that okey

(Basically: I'll select five requests you guys want me to draw about tf2, however no ship art that is noncanonical. The art won't be high quality, im just doing this to practice.)

TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!

Clumbo screenshot redraw!!

Keep reading

it's as if you never existed at all

TF2 AGGIE LINK

https://aggie.io/a4rcbgfpge

random aggie.io link if people want to join! draw whatever you want, as long as it isn’t extreme nsfw lol. It’s mostly for TF2, but anything related/aus are okay! go crazy lol, I look forward to seeing the results of it. I won’t be too active on it since I’m busy.

For people who don’t know, Aggie.io is a collaborative drawing website. And it’s not too shabby too.

(use it to communicate with other tf2 fans on tumblr too if you want!)

https://aggie.io/a4rcbgfpge

is this. is this not just ace attorney. it’s just ace attorney. the vampire is barok, the faerie is kay, the hag in the lake is probably oldbag-

A day-in-the-life as a lawyer that specializes in the supernatural. Airtight contracts for genie wishes. Unambiguous purchase orders with faerie craftsmen. Divorce court for vampires with centuries-old prenups. The hag-in-the-lake who is claiming squatters rights against the new golf course…