When Will Appear The Day Where I Am Finally Ready To Open My Eyes? Stop Hiding From Days, Months, Years

Go and search your fly swatter In the end, I am just a fly trapped in your mind searching a window to freedom You closed every escape after luring me so carefully Let me fly into your self-made prison And walls Covered with paintings of love and security Just to wake up at night to try to escape from the fly swatter you hid in your walls You wanted to spray so much love Where is it, honey? Did you lost your words just as easy as I lost the sight of the truth?

Between promises and lies I found myself lost in your labyrinth of words

A farewell does not always feel like one

It can wear a mask of a new beginning, a new chapter

“Let's stay friends”

I am fine with that

as long as I can keep your ghost next to me

as long as I can hear your voice 

as long as I can keep your heart

as long as you can keep mine

Look at me

Look at me, with the eyes I used to see myself in

Look at me, don’t you feel anything? 

Nothing at all?

No

A lie I tell you

to hide my feelings, my desires

to hide me from you

I am floating in the lake of love

I created with my missing tears

“I am going to change, I promise” I never knew that changing could mean leaving Maybe not even you knew Maybe no one could

I saw that; I saw you How you kept your promise of changing How you and your mind drifted away every day a little bit more a little bit more away from me away from staying

I changed to stop you from leaving No matter how similar we may be Our words may sound the same But changing never meant leaving to me

Like I never meant home to you

melted chocolate in your eyes, a steady fire reflecting your soul, your blushing lips, a bed of a beard, your waterfall hair tangling mine, a velvet smile, an alluring glimpse, my heartbeat in sync with your breath, fast spoken words, soft and sweet, you are mine and I am yours

I love how your eyes shine in the dawn and the inner child you never hide I love the way your fingers play with mine how you kiss my feet, how you bite my toe I love how your lashes frame your eyes and how your sun-kissed face has a golden shine I love how your voice carries a scent of stars how you and I feel like venus and mars I love how I hate to feel your breath at night and how I yet hide in your arms from all the dreams I fight

the inner child you made me save so yours and mine can always play and whoever you shall be in the next year or the ones coming I will always love you with all the strength my heart can offer you leo beauty, my water eyes, I am yours and you are mine

I got lost in your sheets in the tightness of your arms in the rhythm of your breath in the warmth of your heart

yet I found myself in love a place of tenderness I found myself with you a place of lost and found

Falling in love is its own kind of violence

finding myself drifting to sleep in your arms knowing that waking up next to you will be a great reason to wake up for

It is insane how intense I feel  your skin on mine even after you left I feel your hands which grab me tight and close  like it wasn't your phantom which drives his fingers over my body 

How all the water in the world isn’t enough to clean my skin from your touches which imprinted on my body and cover me with paintings I could never draw on my own

You are so terrifying and beautiful to love I am so afraid and yet so full of lust Let me call your name every second of the day until it will become a second part of me