I Can’t Get Over Killian Jones Not Giving A Fuck And Telling His Mother In Law

Superman introducing Battinson Bruce to his parents though.

Ma and Pa Kent open the door, ready to meet their boy’s new bf, but it’s only Clark on the porch.

Clark: :D

Ma: Hi, honey. Where is your boy?

And then, peeking around the door frame, is Bruce in a suit and long wool coat, gaunt, squinting against the sun.

Bruce: hi it’s nice to meet you I’m Bruce

Pa: Oh, you didn’t have to get all dressed up to meet us!

Bruce: Mybutlermademe

Ma: Butler? Mercy, Clark, where did you find this one?

—

Clark disappears into the kitchen to help Ma with dinner, leaving Bruce and Pa sitting in the front room watching a baseball game. Bruce is sitting in an armchair, stiff as a board, anxiety level 100.

Pa: So Clark tells me you do the same sort of thing he does? Swoop around and help folks and such?

Bruce, blurting out the first thing that comes to mind: I can’t fly.

Pa: Wh—Okay?

Bruce: I am a bat but I can’t fly. Not without my Wingsuit.

Pa:…

Bruce, realizing what he just said: never mind

Pa, turning back to the tv: So how about them Yankees?

—

Ma: And this is our chicken coop. It’s a little musty, but Clark comes by to help tidy up once a week.

Bruce: *observing*

Ma: There’s this got-dang coyote—

Bruce, pointing at the corner: The coyote that’s been eating your chickens is burrowing under there. Reinforce it.

Ma:…I love you.

—

Pa: So what’s it like in Gotham?

Bruce, hunching over: The city is overrun with crime. Darkness lurks in every corner. We have an average twelve days of sun a year. Recently there has been a noxious cloud of gas hanging over the city center. I perch myself on my tower to observe. I become part of the building. I am a gargoyle.

Pa:…

Pa: Do you like living there?

Bruce, whispering fiercely: iloveit

—

Clark, flying Bruce back home: My parents love you.

Bruce: okay

Clark: They’re convinced you’re a cryptid that’s latched onto my soul, though.

emily said i see your posts about photos of actors in period dramas doing Normal Things on set while in full costume and i will raise you video footage of heavily pregnant teenage alicent doing tiktok dances

I always wonder whether Batfam fans really get just how fucking rich the Waynes are. Like of course we shy away from thinking about the fact that we're talking Musk and Bezos money, and focus on how Bruce funds the freaking Watchtower and has what is functionally a high-tech military base and lab and the world's most expensive vehicles. But this is the one time you don't have to factor in the implications of wealth-hoarding, so there's nothing preventing y'all from understanding exactly how much money we're talking about here.

For instance, there doesn't seem to be any concept of how palatial Wayne Manor is, simply going by the outer facades of it that appear in the comics and movies. Or how decadent the lifestyles that accompany that kind of ancestral home. Alfred couldn't run that place on his own even if he had super powers, which is why even the movies occasionally show a rotating probably-temporary staff in the background. The house probably has like 3 hundred-foot pools. Their garden is a protected heritage park.

The Waynes are 10x richer than Crazy Rich Asians. They buy and wear the jewelry worth hundreds of millions that belonged to royalty. They own private islands. The art in the house alone is worth more than the GDP of a small country. They went to school with like every US President since Teddy Roosevelt and still think the Rockefellers are new money. They're personal friends with Beyonce and can get her to perform at private parties. They can rent out an entire three-star Michelin restaurant and fly out to one for every date. They have top-line penthouse apartments in every major city in the world. They can buy a luxury sportscar instead of hiring a vehicle anywhere they visit and then just toss the keys to the nearest person on their way out (Arab royalty is known for this appearently. There's been some very lucky parking valets in the UAE iirc).

Bruce is as rich as Ra's Al Ghul, regularly make social calls to heads of state and his family has a history of being king-makers. Every one of Bruce's children, from Dick to Jason to Cass, is poised to inherit one of the largest and most powerful fortunes in the world. That means every time Bruce adopts an orphan off god-knows-where, the entire global elite is thrown into consternation and horror. Even Tim is barely acceptable to these people because he doesn't have the pedigree. I don't follow the reboot comics so Idk if Duke is adopted, but it would be so fucking funny if he was because they'd react a lot like the British establishment did to Meghan Markle (except the family and WE would have Duke's back completely). As for Damian, the fact that he's not white would get him snubbed if everyone who's anyone didn't 100% know who Ra's Al Ghul is. And they're fucking terrified because, for maximum hilarity, they probably figure that Bruce doesn't.

I just find it incredibly fucking funny when I'm reading fics that the writers can only imagine Bruce and the kids's civilian privileges extend only to "big house", "a lot of cars" and "Gotham famous". Lol. Lmao even.

no but seriously I am fascinated by Connor and Willa because I feel the longer they’ve been together the more I think she DOES care for him. like I don’t get the feeling that she is in love with him but I think she does love him. she knows that she can be comfortable if not embarrassed with him, she knows he’ll support her dreams and take care of her even if he’s wildly ridiculous. he is manipulative and he can be awful, like proposing to her in public and socially trapping her into an engagement, throwing fits regularly when he doesn’t get his way, and keeping her out in a weird ranch -

but she doesn’t want it to end, she offers to keep seeing him but living in an apartment in the city. even if that is for the financial security, she is comfortable with him and would prefer to keep their arrangement going. she can tell him about her failed play, nobody asks her to defend him to his wealthy siblings, nobody asks her to demand he keep his coat, and she is not powerless to leave. seeing her waiting in bed, the relief on Connor’s face, the resigned acceptance on hers, I really think she doesn’t want to leave him partially for the money but partially because she knows enough about him and cares enough to dread hurting him the way everyone else has?

it doesn’t mean I love them together or I don’t find their relationship to be fucked in many ways, but I am so obsessed with the sprinkle of what we get

People defending Alicent by saying that Rhaenyra's kids are really bastards when they're not? According to the laws of Westeros, they're Laenor's legitimate sons because he claimed them as his own and gave them his name.

He may not be their biological father but they're his kids and they were raised as such. They're rightfully Velaryons.

Jace is also second in line for the Iron Throne according to his birthright because Rhaenyra is the legitimate heir, the line goes through her and her only.

sam and dean being Known serial killers who have been on the fbi watchlist for a decade and have faked their deaths multiple times is actually very funny. I like to think literally everyone in town knows they're wanted by multiple US agencies but are like. they've evaded arrest so many times. do we really wanna anger the serial killers? no one in town has been killed let's not push it. and then the longer it goes on they begrudgingly start to like the winchesters because they tip well and are generally helpful around the community. plus their son is an absolute delight and everyone wants to figure out what's going on between dean and the weird trenchcoat guy who hangs around sometimes. like, they can't turn them into the cops before getting resolution on their relationship! the town has a betting pool! sam starts a community garden and dean jumps at the chance to help with odd jobs if he over hears people complaining about something when he's hanging out. they're politer than most of the normal locals.

you know how some towns are like 'oh yeah that's the house where the Witch lives'? everyone in lebanon is just like 'there's the nuclear fallout shelter where our local serial killers live ❤ they're pillars of this community ❤ snitch to the feds and the town will band together to eliminate you❤'

microdosing on catharsis by watching a fictional character or persona i relate to have an emotional breakdown until my chest starts to ache from the amount i've repressed

On se aika vuodesta

sansa’s ableism on the night of her wedding, which she did not consent to, where she was molested and almost sexually assaulted by a grown man who happened to be disabled, is apparently more insidious than ableism exhibited by jon, robb, bronn, jaime, etc. based on the number of essays written about it meant to condemn sansa