Superman Introducing Battinson Bruce To His Parents Though.

Superman introducing Battinson Bruce to his parents though.

Ma and Pa Kent open the door, ready to meet their boy’s new bf, but it’s only Clark on the porch.

Clark: :D

Ma: Hi, honey. Where is your boy?

And then, peeking around the door frame, is Bruce in a suit and long wool coat, gaunt, squinting against the sun.

Bruce: hi it’s nice to meet you I’m Bruce

Pa: Oh, you didn’t have to get all dressed up to meet us!

Bruce: Mybutlermademe

Ma: Butler? Mercy, Clark, where did you find this one?

Clark disappears into the kitchen to help Ma with dinner, leaving Bruce and Pa sitting in the front room watching a baseball game. Bruce is sitting in an armchair, stiff as a board, anxiety level 100.

Pa: So Clark tells me you do the same sort of thing he does? Swoop around and help folks and such?

Bruce, blurting out the first thing that comes to mind: I can’t fly.

Pa: Wh—Okay?

Bruce: I am a bat but I can’t fly. Not without my Wingsuit.

Pa:…

Bruce, realizing what he just said: never mind

Pa, turning back to the tv: So how about them Yankees?

Ma: And this is our chicken coop. It’s a little musty, but Clark comes by to help tidy up once a week.

Bruce: *observing*

Ma: There’s this got-dang coyote—

Bruce, pointing at the corner: The coyote that’s been eating your chickens is burrowing under there. Reinforce it.

Ma:…I love you.

Pa: So what’s it like in Gotham?

Bruce, hunching over: The city is overrun with crime. Darkness lurks in every corner. We have an average twelve days of sun a year. Recently there has been a noxious cloud of gas hanging over the city center. I perch myself on my tower to observe. I become part of the building. I am a gargoyle.

Pa:…

Pa: Do you like living there?

Bruce, whispering fiercely: iloveit

Clark, flying Bruce back home: My parents love you.

Bruce: okay

Clark: They’re convinced you’re a cryptid that’s latched onto my soul, though.

More Posts from Sielutonlampikana and Others

2 years ago

but it’s SO clear that visenya and rhaenys did 99% of the actual conquering and ruling and aegon was just a convenient man to be king. this is why grrm’s work is so compelling and frustrating in turns—he’s WILDLY aware of how gender and gendered violence in feudalism works, but there’s always just one element of critique missing even though he’s clearly aiming to criticize feudalism. and women keep dying in childbirth! and the princess of dorne is still unnamed! and we know more about tyrion’s missing uncle than minisa whent or joanna lannister combined!

2 years ago

an underrated detail in pride and prejudice is that elizabeth bennett was home alone on the day darcy proposed because she had a headache. can you imagine. this was in the pre-painkillers era. you're at home with a headache and then this asshole walks into the room and tells you he loves you and wants to marry you even though he hates your whole family and you're beneath him. imagine having to deal with that while also having a headache. she doesn't even have ibuprofen

2 years ago

Is it evil of me to want something,,,like Mike being absolutely done with party's half-baked plan so he starts getting shit in gear?

By that I mean he starts being more stern. (I know this may or may not be a bit ooc for Mike in S5 since he's pretty backstage eversince S3 where he just got yelled at for his plans, but bear with me.)

Mike hears about their plan back in S4 and he's like "oh god why did you do that." So he starts being more authoritative towards the party, not in a dictative way or anything, just his voice being "no room for argue."

Imagine Mike making out a plan in S5 but Nancy keeps objecting his ideas like in S3. So Mike, having enough of it for the first time says

"I said end of discussion."

That has everyone shocked because, yeah Mike's usually pretty snarky or sarcastic, but hexs bever been authoritative. And that voice left no rook for objection.

Also i think he has a really mean stare, so that would pair well??

It's just my self-fulfilling fantasy alright? Just Mike finally taking a stand in his leader position whether they like it or not, eventho he's not a demanding person.

Or like them not listening to Mike when he tries to tell them not to do something, and so that ends up backfiring on them.

He's just standing there with a raised eyebrow like "I told you so."

2 years ago
Dolly Parton In The Best Little Whorehouse In Texas (1982)

Dolly Parton in The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas (1982)

2 years ago

so much mike discussion and it is so early but im once again thinking about how mike’s coming home to learn that eddie died and for him that’s very much so a “this is what happens to boys like me” moment because of how much he aspired to be like eddie and be himself and on top of that he has his conflict with lucas that they haven’t talked through so he still thinks lucas wishes they were all normal and there’s the fact that he just lost all his hope that will could return his feelings because of the push towards loving el and el is about to break up with him and to mike that means losing her entirely because he doesn’t think he matters to her outside of being her boyfriend. literally everything is telling mike that being himself is bad and trying to be someone else is bad so what’s he meant to even do at that point??? like he’s been alone emotionally for a long time but now he’s actually alone and no one is gonna care beyond him not helping with the plans and him not caring at that point and im just shdbdhxsnzjchhhsn hzjsbdkddbzjdkdbhznc mi chael

2 years ago

this is like 100% petty all things considered but i just can’t wait until some of u learn that it is absolutely normal for people of any age to refer to their dads as “daddy” in many parts of the south like it isn’t a red flag there. 60 year old women in my family still refer to their dads as “daddy.” and btw i think anyone should be allowed to call their own fathers whatever they want without someone either making it nasty or being accusatory like don’t you get tired of making ppl uncomfortable for no reason

2 years ago

Literally when I start thinking about how White Collar tried to make their main character a pretty playboy womanizer and at the same time gave their other main character a healthy loving affectionate marriage and the two things combined to make an unignorably poly throuple because Neal can't not flirt with El and Peter and El are obviously in love and Peter and Neal literally joke about being a couple several times and yet there's no jealousy anywhere just three people in love I lose it. "I made a perfectly straight FBI procedural" you've made a poly love story actually congrats that's an upgrade <3

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