Thomas Ruff

How can I be more grounded and calm?

Hi there! In my own personal journey, I learned that this is a practice that doesn't happen overnight. It takes a lot of changing your habits, way of thinking, your environment, etc. And that we all function in different ways, so what helps some may not help others. I always like to mention that just in case anyone reads my suggestions, and feels pressured to do things a certain way. Being more grounded in your life is so beneficial considering it helps many take power over their emotions, you feel more connected to your body and how you’re feeling, you tend to worry less about things that don't matter, being more in the present moment, you feel more energized and at ease.

Conscious breathing - Every day make time to just breathe. Listen to a guided breathing audio. This will help to release all negative thoughts, stress and pain. It helps you become more in touch with your body, and create physical, mental and spiritual alignment through your body, as you’re letting vital energy flow through you. 

Meditating - Meditation, in my opinion, is a vital exercise everyone should incorporate into they day to day life. It helps you focus only on the present moment, being more aware of how you’re body is feeling, visualizing things such as your desires, you deeply connect with your soul through mediating. It can help release tensions, anxieties, stress, etc.

Cold showers - Not only does this have so many benefits such as increasing immunity, glowing skin, healthier hair, energized mood, it also helps in feeling more in touch with your body. If cold water is too much for you, the last 10 seconds of your shower, rinse quickly in cold water.

Spend time outdoors - Make an effort to disconnect from distractions and spend time being nurtured by nature. It could in your backyard, a local park, a beach, etc. Take the time to enjoy the beauty of mother nature, let your feet touch the grass and relax. Have a picnic, go for a walk, workout, meditate, read or simply just be.

Address your problems - Being more calm may be difficult when you have underlying issues you haven’t dealt with, or heal from. Work on doing your own shadow work, figuring out what is holding you back from being your high vibrational self. And if you find yourself having a hard time, there’s nothing wrong with seeking professional or holistic help. 

Exercising - Whether it’s an extreme workout, or not, it’s very helpful in becoming more grounded. You can do a guided workout, yoga, pilates, running, hiking, etc. You’ll feel much more energized, and happier from all the endorphins flowing through your body.

Own more plants - Plants give off great positive energy and can ground you as you work with them by watering, gardening, maintaining, etc. Care for them, and interact regularly. Not to mention many plants have benefits such as purifying your home, giving you good fortune, etc. My personal favourites to own at home are snake plants, bamboo, golden pothos, fresh bouquet of flowers, vining plant, etc.

Self care - Have more days to treat yourself. Have a salt bath which have many healing properties. Get a massage. Do a face mask. Anything that helps you feel better. Taking care of ourselves is very important, as we are taking the time to focus on nurturing our body and minds, and less worrying about everything else.

Emotions - Teach yourself that not everything, or anyone deserves reactions out of you. Think to yourself what is most important to you. Constantly worrying about the next person, and what they say will only give them all the control, and power. Regain your power by simply not caring about any who is low vibrational. Anyone who tries to get a reaction of you are simply projecting their own insecurities, and problems onto you. Don’t accept this behaviour. Walk away, or block anyone of this caliber. They are not worth it. Neither is their opinions about you. Your life is your own for a reason, do not give anyone the privilege and access. 

Protection - Be less accessible. Don’t post everything, and everyone on social media. Blessings, success, bad moments, etc. Good or bad. Not everyone has good intentions, and energy. Energy transfers are very much real. When we receive bad or good energy from someone, we will feel it. Same in real life, avoid sharing too much and being easily acessible. Avoid living off of validation, and acceptance from others. Be more private. When people know less about you, and vice versa, life becomes so much more peaceful.

Self love - Practising self compassion, and acceptance is key in having a more peaceful lifestyle. You’re less likely to be stressed about your abilities to do certain things, when mistakes arise you are more patient in going through them and learning, etc. Simply being more kind and understanding of yourself will help you face intense situations much better in the future.

Meet your needs - Sometimes when we worry about something, it’s because one or several of our needs aren't met. Try to think, what need are you trying to meet? And try to think of ways to fulfill this need. It will ease your worries as you know the reason, and you will be able to find more solutions. 

Let life flow naturally - Avoid being over controlling over everything. Let the guidance of your inner voice help you. Be more connected to your intuition to help guide you. Don’t stress over the bad moments, and mistakes, instead let yourself feel and figure out ways to work out of these moments. And what you can learn from them. Don’t compare or feel pressured to live a certain way because of how others are. 

Boundaries - It’s quite impossible to have clear, calm mind when other people interfere with your space all the time. Think about your beliefs, and values and what you want from others. Learn to stand up for yourself, and not take anyone’s disrespect no matter who it is, and what they're dealing with. 

what’s changed?

after several months of thriving in the same routine i've nailed down some of my total necessities for success:

- morning vyvanse and a homemade iced matcha.

- going out with the girls at least three times a week.

- moving my body and doing my low impact workouts.

- making an effort to eat actual meals and whole foods.

- reading a part of one book that I love every weekend.

- exploring life and taking myself out on casual dates.

- a daily listen to my favourite song, a non negotiable.

it’s not a perfect list but if i do everything and make an effort to try to do what makes me happy, life feels sexy.

You mentioned that you don't get easily heartbroken and I was wondering how do you do it?!

Hey Habibti,

Everyone is different so don't stress about it. There is nothing wrong with heartbreak.

I get disgusted by men's actions a lot more than being sad over it. If a man decides to disrespect me, I am highly turned off. Depending on what the issue is - I can't find him attractive again. It's more "ew" than "boohoo" for me.

I have my own personal list of things I need to see from a man before I even think of allowing my emotions in. I might flirt and have a fun time with you but my feelings won't bother to develop beyond finding someone physically attractive if certain things aren't met.

I barely have time to pay attention to men who aren't attracted to me. I barely get crushes that consume me because I might find a man attractive but he will never take up space in my mind without it being reciprocated. I don't have the time or energy.

I don't believe rejection is the worst thing in the world. If someone doesn't see your value or isn't attracted to it, that doesn't mean it isn't there. I am not for everyone and not everyone is for me.

With All My Love,

Heart💚

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