3 Bits Of Advice? 🤍

3 bits of advice? 🤍

You need to learn how to market yourself.

Every woman needs to know how to market herself, the way you market yourself and your personal branding are two major things that heavily factor into the way that you’re perceived and knowing how to market yourself, choosing what niche you’d like to appeal to, and having a clear idea of what you’re doing are major. I didn’t wake up one day and randomly choose to totally change myself, I made lists of my skills and qualities, I made lists of the things that I enjoyed and the things that I gravitated towards the most, I made lists of the opportunities that I’d like to have, I factored in the place I was living and the places where I’d one day want to live or travel to, I added my degrees into the mix and made sure to leave room for continued education, and I started to craft an image of the woman I wanted to be and the things I wanted to have and to have accomplished before I turn 30.

All of the things I listed down and all of the things that I had already and planned to accomplish are parts of the way that I market myself both in friendships and in relationships, I wear a variety of different hats and I use all of the interesting things I’ve experienced and lived through to make myself a better candidate for everything. I applied to Princeton for graduate school, I got into Princeton for graduate school, and I chose not to attend Princeton because I got a much better offer from a grad school that I view as more prestigious but the point is that I was accepted into Princeton. I’ve dated a lot of Yale graduates, I use the way I market myself to men and my sorority experience to interact with them and I use pieces of the mannerisms that I’ve brought over from home to help me, and I’ve always had a lot of success. Marketing is everything and it needs to be learned for any sort of decent personal, professional, or romantic success. It’s just a fact.

You need to figure out what you want from your life.

I’ve been on many a rant about the posts I’ve read from women who don’t know the value of the dollar, who haven’t been outside of their computers, and who don’t seem to understand that handsome, six figure making, young men aren’t found that often. There’s not a billionaire out there for every woman and the vast majority of women on hypergamy/levelling up tumblr aren’t going to have the opportunity to interact with these mystery men or they’re going to meet them and abruptly realise that all of the stories they’ve read about handsome millionaires throwing away their status and brushing off the criticisms of society to be with women who don’t fit into their lives or into their world are just pretty lies made up by delusional girls to give insecure women hope when they shouldn’t bother.

You need to figure out what you want and you need to be realistic about it. If you’re a high school graduate with no connections, no career to speak of, and no friends then you need to either get planning for your future or stay where you are, it’s all up to you. I took a long hard look at myself and my choices and I decided to be rather blunt with what I wanted, what I needed, what was most realistic for my past and present life, and what I wanted to have and be able to do and I decided that I should probably start to focus more on my homeland and what I needed to be truly satisfied on more than a mental level. My sister’s been joking that I’ve rejected my former Caucasian ways and returned to my Asian roots and she’s right, I’ve started working on myself and planning out my return to the version of myself that made me the most happy.

You need to pull it together, be honest with yourself, and think about the sort of partner and lifestyle that you’d like one day. I talk all the time about having boundaries with my friends and with my romantic partners but I’ve really neglected the boundaries that I should have with myself and I’ve been working hard to put them back up and work on my self worth and self esteem. You need to be able to look at yourself and give yourself legitimate criticisms with legitimate solutions. It’s not productive to look at thinspo all day, criticise yourself in the mirror, starve for one week and then binge and purge the next but it is productive to be able to recognise that maybe you do need to lose weight and make a healthy and not extreme diet and exercise plan that you slowly begin to follow. Sit down, set boundaries for yourself, and start figuring out what you need to do, what niche of partner you’d like to market yourself towards, where you want to go in this world and in your own world, and what you want out of life. Things will be so much easier if you have a solid idea of what you want and what you’re working toward.

You need to put it all into action as soon as you can.

All good plans include action, you can sit online and grow for as long as you want and still end up with nothing because you were unable to actually put any of your plans into action. I’m a very action oriented woman and most of my life has involved leaping into action when necessary and letting myself be uncomfortable even when I’m terrified to put myself out there because I know that I won’t achieve anything or be worth anything if I don’t step out of my comfort zone. I was always shy growing up, I didn’t talk to many people and I was very attached to my sister, and then one day she was the one who got sick and I had to do all of the talking and work for both of us because I knew that she’d be unable to carry us forever. I was forced to become an individual and be independent without my social crutch and it’s been a major help to me for years, I’ve been able to speak to people without fear of rejection and really work on my social skills, I went to foreign schools and acclimated to all of my new environments just fine, and I’ve done a lot of hard work to make my life feel worthwhile and feel exotic.

You need to be willing to either take action and leap into life or settle with never being satisfied. If you legitimately think that you’re going to marry a millionaire and live a pampered life, that’s great, whatever, the cold fact of the matter is that the women who’ve achieved what you want haven’t done it online or sat on their asses without ever making a move and you’re not going to be the exception to that rule. You’re not special and you’re not above doing hard work, people will look down at you if you have no work ethic and if you take no initiative in your own life and you’ll waste time that you don’t have by procrastinating. You don’t need binders, you don’t need manifestation journals, and you don’t need unlimited resources, you need to get off of your ass and figure out how to make what you have work for you and market the hell out of yourself so that you actually start to know what success is. Life isn’t easy for young women, it never has been and it never will be and you don’t need to make it harder on yourself, cast all of your stay at home girlfriend day dreams away and put in the work to become someone who gets what she wants and who can be proud of her accomplishments, that’s the easiest way to win and to settle down rather quickly.

Ligeia.

More Posts from Shessuchavirgo and Others

shessuchavirgo

1 year ago

Drink water. keep your nails + toes done. go shopping, spoil yourself. chase your goals. go out to eat. take trips. dress up. try diff hair styles. have more talks with God. take more pictures. stay away from negative energy. surround yourself w/ ppl that have your best interest at heart. invest your money. save up to get a bigger bag. be selfish, but most importantly.. ENJOY YOURSELF💕

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shessuchavirgo

2 years ago

something you think all women need to learn?

Some people need to learn how to shut the hell up.

The most important lesson I’ve ever learned was how to keep my mouth closed, there are things that do not need to be said to people who you do not know and there is a time and a place to speak about certain controversial topics. One of the things I’ve heard time and time again from my friends is that they’ll go out on dates with men, begin speaking about taboo topics and things that absolutely do not need to be spoken about with strangers, and end up being completely shocked when the things that they said end up backfiring and making them seem like fools or the men they were trying to impress end up becoming irritated instead. I’m all for finding out the basics and then moving on, I’m not interested in wasting my time arguing with someone who’s basically a stranger to me and the best part about going out on a first date is that I can decline a second if I disagree with them. I’m too old and too tired to argue with men who aren’t going to budge from their beliefs and I’m not going to budge from what I believe in so I keep my mouth shut, inform them that I’m not interested in carrying on with them, and then I move on. I’m not interested in tiring myself out, I’m not interested in proving a point, and I’m not interested in fighting with a man who could potentially go out and talk to his colleagues or his friends and ruin the reputation I’ve made for myself or tarnish my name, I’m not interested in any of that and so I keep most things to myself. I’m also going to say that I’ve got a few hot takes that I believe in with my life and absolutely NOTHING that someone that I don’t know had to say to me regarding those beliefs would matter, I’d just double down and let them waste their time.

You’re not always going to be the victim and clinging to victimhood is annoying.

I have this acquaintance, Ruby, who’s been on what seems like 350 first dates. She’s been on date after date with men from each religion and ethnicity and she’s managed to strike out on each and every one of them. There’s always been a little voice at the back of my mind telling me to not give her the chance to go out with anyone I know and she’s asked me to set her up multiple times and I’ve said no each and every time she’s asked me to just because Ruby ALWAYS has to play the victim. In every relationship she’s been in, she has to be the victim even when she’s not, she does to great length to constantly paint herself in a positive and innocent light even when it’s not necessary at all and shows are for what she is, she’s an extremely manipulative person and men don’t trust her. She’s the common denominator in all of her failed relationships and friendships, she knows it, the world knows it, and the fact that she’s 27 and unable to admit any sort of wrongdoing makes her look absolutely terrible. It’s not cute to refuse to take accountability when you’re in the wrong, especially when you’re an adult, no one wants to be friends with someone who always has to be the victim and no one wants to date a perpetual victim. The best thing you can do for yourself is grow up, learn how to own up to your mistakes and apologise when necessary, and always keep it moving. There’s no need to regress or stand your ground when you’re wrong, it’ll make you look like an idiot in the long run and it can be much more admirable to own up to shit and apologise.

You can’t do your worst but expect the best outcome.

There are some people who are able to slack off in life and still have all of the best things in life end up on their plates but you aren’t one of these people. The people who do get the best in life without much effort or talent usually have people in the background who prop them up and wait around as a fall back plan, they usually have money, and they usually have connections. If you don’t have these things then you can’t sit around and assume that you’re going to have all that you want without ever having to lift a finger. There’s no such thing as levelling up without hard work and it’s so tiring to hear from women who think that they can do the bare minimum but still get the most, you’re only holding yourself back with a mindset like that and people aren’t going to go out of their way to help you because they’re going to view you as someone who’s lazy and who doesn’t believe in hard work or they’re going to assume that you’ll be good on your own. This really applies to everything in life, I went to Uni with a girl who came from a disadvantaged background but who thought that she could live the same life as our super privileged peers just because she spent most of her time in close proximity to them and she was absolutely shocked when she started to fail and be forgotten, she was shocked that they wouldn’t allow her access to their private tutors and resources, and she was shocked when they basically bid her farewell and told her that she’d be able to sort shit out on her own. I didn’t respect her, her professors and tutors didn’t like her because she didn’t try, and she was genuinely delusional about her place in this world and the fact that she wasn’t at the same status level as her peers. Sometimes luck will give you the privilege of slacking off for a while and still winning but that luck always ends up running out pretty quickly.

Ligeia.

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shessuchavirgo

3 years ago

love being that fine ass pretty ass lowkey bitch that nobody know about

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shessuchavirgo

1 year ago

being an angel every day is hard work

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shessuchavirgo

1 year ago

Wing Shya

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shessuchavirgo

3 years ago

Practice being calm. Like literally...if you want to feel powerful and in control, stay calm. If you really trust, then stay calm. Don’t lose your cool. Trust me. It’s enough that you are going through something, stop being a hype man to your unwanted situations. It’s not a big deal.

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shessuchavirgo

2 years ago

Something on your reading list?🖤

The Art of Arousal.

Dr. Ruth has always been one of my inspirations, I love her and listening to her podcast and her interviews have always been so fun for me. I used to want to do something very similar to what she does and her life is very interesting so I love reading what she has to say and learning more about how she views our world. The Art of Arousal is basically a book about erotic art and the themes in 130 different sculptures, paintings, and other forms of artistic media with commentary by Dr. Ruth, I thought it would be interesting because I’m getting back into enjoying reading about art now that I have time to and I’ve always enjoyed erotic art and the different themes and styles throughout history. It’s a book that’s meant to be more visual instead of reading intensive and it’s been a nice break from the heavier art books that I would normally choose over this art book.

Ligeia.

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shessuchavirgo

1 year ago

so obsessed with the idea of upgrading my life & bettering myself

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shessuchavirgo

1 year ago

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shessuchavirgo

1 year ago

My mentor snapped when he said it’s imperative to always ask for what you want, because the worst they can say is no, and no stands for “Next Opportunity”. Like that’s literally my mantra.

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