Something You Think All Women Need To Learn?

something you think all women need to learn?

Some people need to learn how to shut the hell up.

The most important lesson I’ve ever learned was how to keep my mouth closed, there are things that do not need to be said to people who you do not know and there is a time and a place to speak about certain controversial topics. One of the things I’ve heard time and time again from my friends is that they’ll go out on dates with men, begin speaking about taboo topics and things that absolutely do not need to be spoken about with strangers, and end up being completely shocked when the things that they said end up backfiring and making them seem like fools or the men they were trying to impress end up becoming irritated instead. I’m all for finding out the basics and then moving on, I’m not interested in wasting my time arguing with someone who’s basically a stranger to me and the best part about going out on a first date is that I can decline a second if I disagree with them. I’m too old and too tired to argue with men who aren’t going to budge from their beliefs and I’m not going to budge from what I believe in so I keep my mouth shut, inform them that I’m not interested in carrying on with them, and then I move on. I’m not interested in tiring myself out, I’m not interested in proving a point, and I’m not interested in fighting with a man who could potentially go out and talk to his colleagues or his friends and ruin the reputation I’ve made for myself or tarnish my name, I’m not interested in any of that and so I keep most things to myself. I’m also going to say that I’ve got a few hot takes that I believe in with my life and absolutely NOTHING that someone that I don’t know had to say to me regarding those beliefs would matter, I’d just double down and let them waste their time.

You’re not always going to be the victim and clinging to victimhood is annoying.

I have this acquaintance, Ruby, who’s been on what seems like 350 first dates. She’s been on date after date with men from each religion and ethnicity and she’s managed to strike out on each and every one of them. There’s always been a little voice at the back of my mind telling me to not give her the chance to go out with anyone I know and she’s asked me to set her up multiple times and I’ve said no each and every time she’s asked me to just because Ruby ALWAYS has to play the victim. In every relationship she’s been in, she has to be the victim even when she’s not, she does to great length to constantly paint herself in a positive and innocent light even when it’s not necessary at all and shows are for what she is, she’s an extremely manipulative person and men don’t trust her. She’s the common denominator in all of her failed relationships and friendships, she knows it, the world knows it, and the fact that she’s 27 and unable to admit any sort of wrongdoing makes her look absolutely terrible. It’s not cute to refuse to take accountability when you’re in the wrong, especially when you’re an adult, no one wants to be friends with someone who always has to be the victim and no one wants to date a perpetual victim. The best thing you can do for yourself is grow up, learn how to own up to your mistakes and apologise when necessary, and always keep it moving. There’s no need to regress or stand your ground when you’re wrong, it’ll make you look like an idiot in the long run and it can be much more admirable to own up to shit and apologise.

You can’t do your worst but expect the best outcome.

There are some people who are able to slack off in life and still have all of the best things in life end up on their plates but you aren’t one of these people. The people who do get the best in life without much effort or talent usually have people in the background who prop them up and wait around as a fall back plan, they usually have money, and they usually have connections. If you don’t have these things then you can’t sit around and assume that you’re going to have all that you want without ever having to lift a finger. There’s no such thing as levelling up without hard work and it’s so tiring to hear from women who think that they can do the bare minimum but still get the most, you’re only holding yourself back with a mindset like that and people aren’t going to go out of their way to help you because they’re going to view you as someone who’s lazy and who doesn’t believe in hard work or they’re going to assume that you’ll be good on your own. This really applies to everything in life, I went to Uni with a girl who came from a disadvantaged background but who thought that she could live the same life as our super privileged peers just because she spent most of her time in close proximity to them and she was absolutely shocked when she started to fail and be forgotten, she was shocked that they wouldn’t allow her access to their private tutors and resources, and she was shocked when they basically bid her farewell and told her that she’d be able to sort shit out on her own. I didn’t respect her, her professors and tutors didn’t like her because she didn’t try, and she was genuinely delusional about her place in this world and the fact that she wasn’t at the same status level as her peers. Sometimes luck will give you the privilege of slacking off for a while and still winning but that luck always ends up running out pretty quickly.

Ligeia.

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Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind. You’re focused on the end goal always, you’re not out here running in these streets like a lost puppy. All your daily actions are based on where you want to be with a clear purpose in mind. 

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3 years ago
image

If you haven’t read part 1, here it is. 

So you’ve reflected and weighed the pros and cons. After a healthy amount of deliberation, you’ve decided that you still want to pursue this. Hopefully what I’m about to say will get your foot in the door.

I’m going to focus this on meeting celebrities in general and not a specific type of celebrity (like athletes or musicians). If you continuously go to the types of places I mention in hopes of meeting a celeb you’re bound to run into the rich and wealthy any way just by association…two birds, one stone.

Where to go:

Country clubs

Charity events

Golf clubs

High end gyms (especially if you’re want to be around athletes)

Upscale Restaurants (start with steakhouses)

Classy/Upscale Lounges

High end malls (Lenox Mall, The Shops in Buckhead and Phipps Plaza)

Stay in Buckhead. Period.

I’m not mentioning a specific place because Lord knows they change frequently. The trendiest restaurant in January could be closed by July.

Now if you noticed, I didn’t mention clubs. Personally, I don’t like networking in clubs for a multitude of reasons. However, not everyone is like me nor do they share my opinion about this so I will give you a few tips about freestyling at clubs:

Only go if you can get into VIP. Don’t think that Mr. or Miss Celebrity will spot you in a crowd and part the red ropes for you and let you inside of VIP. Has it happened before? Yes. But you increase your chances dramatically if you’re already inside of VIP.

Make friends with the bartenders and the doormen. The same rule applies when you’re at the lounges. They know what’s up. They know why you’re there. You don’t have to spell it out for them. A few subtle words and wink and a nod will do. If you become a regular and a good tipper, they’ll keep you in the loop. They’ll let you know who goes where and when you need to go. Be good to the bartenders and they’ll be good to you.

Don’t go with all of your friends. Unless you all look like Victoria’s Secret models. I’m not joking. For starters going with a lot of girls makes you unapproachable. Secondly, there is a chance that all of you may not be able to get into VIP (for various reasons) - that’s going to cause a problem. And Mr. Celebrity may have the cash, but that doesn’t mean he wants to buy you and all of your friends drinks for the rest of the night. Pick one girl that’s like minded and go with her. That’s it.

And only go during the weekday. Why? Cause everyone and their momma is at the club on the weekend trying to do the same thing you’re trying to do. Including the fake ballers. It’s too much of a hassle.  You’re more likely to meet a celebrity or the wealthy during the week.

If you need help finding events, start with the magazines Simply Buckhead, Jezebel (NOT jezebel.com. I’m talking about the local magazine from Atlanta. Their website is modernluxury.com/jezebel) and the Atlanta Tribune. Read the e-magazine/digital edition of these magazines. Don’t worry about the website itself. The magazine is where all of the information about the local events will be. Also, in some of the local/socialite-esque magazines, they will include pictures of previous events. (or you can always google to find the pictures) take note and save the date for the next one if the event looks promising.

I’m sure there’s more “high society” magazines in Atlanta but hopefully that will get you started. If you need more you can Google.

And speaking of the search engine, You’re going to be using it a lot. Get on Yelp as well and begin creating a list of places in each category I named. Read the reviews (and check out the pics to see if there are any of celebrities) to see if the place is worth a visit.

Get organized and create a list of places that you’re going to attend. Keep notes and make memos of which places are keepers and which ones are not worth your time. This may seem a bit overwhelming at first, but eventually you’ll create a rhythm and get the hang of it.

And some parting words…

Do not act like a groupie, let me repeat that: do not act like a groupie. That includes acting like one in person and on social media (especially on Instagram.) Don’t act like you’re desperate for fame or a crazed fan. People can smell desperation a mile away and will avoid you like the plague. The most you’ll get for being a crazed fan is a picture. And if you act like a groupie, you will be treated like one.

And since we’re on the subject of crazy fans, don’t do the opposite either which is to act as if you’ve never heard of them. “No, Idris, I’m not familiar with any of your movies….” Please. You’re not fooling anyone with that. If you know who they are, then you know. Treat them like a normal person. Compliment them and their talent “Yes, I like your latest song, the melody is so soulful”. And then leave it at that and talk about something else. And if you’re pursuing male celebrities remember at the end of the day, he’s just a man.

If you’re trying to be around a particular type of celebrity (i.e. such as an actor or athletes in general) don’t be afraid to do some google stalking. This increases your chances of finding them (or another celebrity). Don’t leave shit to chance.

Find out where they like to hang out and what they like to do when they’re not filming, scoring touchdowns, making music, whatever. This is where sites like TMZ come in handy. If you read a story or see a picture that says Chris Evans likes to eat at Chops when he’s filming the Avengers in ATL, then you know that you need to add that place to your rotation. If he likes to eat there, chances are other celebs like to eat there as well. So on the days you go,even if you don’t meet Chris Evans you may run into Anthony Mackie.

Go to charity events. One more time for the folks in the back. Go to the charity events. I don’t know why everyone keeps sleeping on charity events. Most of these celebs have at least one charity and a lot of them actually go to the events, galas and fundraisers. The money that’s spent to go to the club would be better spent on a ticket to the celebrity charity event where you just increased your chances exponentially that you will not only meet a celeb, but also get to have a conversation with them because you’re in a more personal, intimate setting.

And network. If you find yourself at an event without any promising prospects don’t declare it a waste. Be friendly, introduce yourself to people. You never know who knows who.

Recap: 

Celebrities (at least the ones that you want to hang around) go to the hottest, trendiest places. Find out those places with Google and Yelp (Only choose $$$$ and $$$). Be sure to look at the pictures. 

Start going to these places. 

Network with the staff. 

Begin to sort which places have the best potential and become a regular. (This may take a little trial and error.)

Always be on the lookout for the upcoming places (your local socialite/high society magazines will help with this). 

Rinse and repeat. 

That’s it. That’s the magic code.

And lastly, a personal piece of advice: get something out of this. Even the most lowkey celeb will be attached to some kind of drama or craziness simply because they’re in the spotlight. It comes with the territory.

I’m not going to tell you what you should get out of this, I’m just telling you to get something.  Even if your only goal is to say you hang out with celebs, that’s fine, there’s nothing wrong with that. But you need to be at a point that by the time you “retire” from this lifestyle you can at least write a series of books on how to meet celebrities for business, friendship and romance so you can cut a check on the backend if you want. You may not feel that way now, but when this is all said and done and the ride is over, you’re going to want something out of this.

Oh, and I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t recommend at least once book. How to Marry The Rich by Ginie Sayles. Even if you don’t plan on marrying someone rich, her book contains a lot of good tips on how to surround yourself with the wealthy.

Good luck my darling. Remember that this is a marathon not a sprint, and as always, you can message me or send another ask.

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