Sometimes Guan Shan Wants To Shove A Tube Of Toothpaste Up Tian's Ass. Sometimes He Actually Tries. Sometimes

Mo: [carrying all the groceries in both arms]

Tian: [reaches out to help]

Mo: [switches all the bags to one hand to hold Tian's with the other]

Tian: That's not what I--

Tian:

Tian: Okay.

jian yi, a 24 year old grown man: xixi... don't you think it's sad that poor lonely zebras can't sleep on their own? it's like... soo unfair.

zhan zheng xi: jian yi, my love, it is really sad, yeah, but could you please think about it later instead of when we're fucking?

mo guan shan: i don't have a petname for he tian, that's stupid.

jian yi: oh really? what do bees make?

mo: honey.

jian yi:

mo: did you really think that'd work?

jian yi: yeah.

mo guan shan: dumbass.

he tian, popping out of nowhere: yeah, baby?

he tian: i'm the responsible one in this relationship. mo guan shan: you literally just set the toaster on fire. he tian: and i take full responsibility for that.

He Tian's Arc

Ok, so this will be a very rambly post, but bare with me.

As we know Ht is a very complex character, being mainly affected by his childhood and the people/situations that hurt him. First and foremost, his family.

Starting with the loss of his mother HT starts having that crippling fear of his of losing people, slowly becoming fiercely loyal to those he loves. Then we get to his father, although we dont have much info on him as of yet, we do know Ht was very aware of how dangerous his father was, to the point of even asking his brother if (if he did something wrong) his father would kill him. With this HT very obviously grew up with a mentality of fighting to survive, and learning to live in the "darkness" of his family.

Then, what I believe has shaped him the most, his Brother.

He cheng has lived with their father and family business for a lot longer, and has learned what HT would come to learn a lot earlier, and (maybe accidentally) taught it to his little brother. HC shows HT that he's "on his own", if he wants something he HAS to fight for it, he can not be weak because that will make him useless (in the sense of not being able to do what he wants to do, like saving people)

Ht then understands that his family is different, they have a "darkness" that he not only hates, but is terrified of.

He hates his father, and he hates what his brother is/has become. He does not want to be part of his family's business, the violence, the killing and the cruelty of their "jobs" repels him. I think he hates it so much because he's scared to have that "darkness" inside himself as well, scared that its inevitably in his blood already. Even literally stating to MGS that he is scared of the dark. So he pushes and does his best to stay away (hating his brother, living alone, not talking to his father) he only ever "uses" his family when it's to take something from them instead of give (like money).

And then, here comes Mo guan shan.

And he's the exact opposite of everything his family (and by extension he himself) is. Mo guan shan does not lie, or scheme, and above all he does not see or fear that darkness inside Ht. We've seen that he and JY were friends before all this, and that at the very least they were close, but Jy did not completely understand Ht, he was a friend but as we've seen with the countless panels of HT standing alone in a landscape, he still felt alone. He felt like that darkness kept him apart from other people, and so when MGS came along he just couldn't help but fall for him.

So Ht becomes extremely protective over little Mo. And thanks to the idea of being the Strongest, the one who protects and is not protected ("weakling") Ht develops a very self sacrificing mentality. It simply does not matter to him if he gets hurt or in danger, because he is strong and he has that darkness in him, all that matters is that those he love are unharmed, safe and happy.

The problem is, Mo guan shan has a "stalker". She li considers him his, and prefers to break MGS than have someone else "take" him. Which means HT ends up putting himself in situations a lot worse than normally (well, at least outside his family business) not only to take the hits in MGS's place, but also to attack those who hurt him.

Still, the people he loves keep getting hurt, not only Mo but also Jian Yi. The other person who Ht is also willing to sacrifice himself to save. It starts to make HT desperate, and it slowly pushes him further down that "dark" path he feared so much.

And that pushes him towards his family, his brother and the violent measures they take. His brother tries to warn him (not that greatly I might add) and at the very least veers him away from the true rock bottom (killing someone).

And he does say he doesn't care about what people think of him, and I do think that's mostly true at this point, but he does care about what MGS thinks. Because Mo doesn't fear him, and he doesn't want that to change.

We've seen several times HT asking for Mo's opinions and thought on him. I think that fear of scaring off MGS specially shows when after holding SL's neck in the stairs Ht asks this.

Still decides to resort to that side of him, to eliminate SL, even if he has to sacrifice his own existence without that darkness and family. He'd do anything for those he loves.

Which makes for a whole new problem. That sacrifice is a little too much, even for him, he's terrified of it, (maybe horrified is a better word for it). He loves his friends too much, and hates those who hurt them just as much. It makes it too easy for him to cross the line, to the point someone has to be there just to stop him, to hold him back. And look at that,

He flinches.

He flinches from what he did, and the person talking.

In the next panel we see his face at it, engulfed in darkness. And I think that one of the things he also fears is knowing MGS saw him, I think here he is scared to see Mo's reaction. So he looks back

And Mo guan shan isn't scared Of him, but For him. MGS still stands By him and Hugs him, and HT doesn't even care about his hand, or anything else he just wants to hug Mo back.

Because yes, He tian has slowly descended on a cruel and violent path that he feared, (and still fears) but Mo guan shan still wants to stay by his side. Even with He tian literally red handed with blood, Mo wants to share his troubles with HT (symbolized by him wearing the jacket Ht gave him when telling him not to shoulder everything on his own) and take on part of Ht's troubles as well.

He wants to accompany and stay by his side. Mo guan shan still doesn't fear He tian. And I think that's all Ht wants.

TLDR:: Tianshan has slowly driven HT to a darker and more violent path, but their relationship shows just how deep their connection is, and how much they've come to rely and develop alongside one another.

he tian: if i say i love you, will you say it back?

mo guan shan: yes.

he tian: i love you.

mo guan shan: it back.

jian yi: does anyone know why tian is crying?

operator: 911 what's your emergency?

jian yi: hey man, yeah, see i'm cooking something here. i was wondering how much trouble you could get in for uh, meth.

operator: and you called the police to ask how. illegal the meth is?

jian yi: well yeah, i figured if anyone would know, it'd be you guys?

operator: *types on keyboard*

operator: is that jian yi of *address*

jian yi: no, uh... jian yi is not here right now can i take a message?

operator: the police are on their way, jian yi.

jian yi: aw, shit, nuts, i mean, yeah that's fine, cause nothing's wrong here, exept me cooking some meth, aw double nuts i sad it again.

operator: see you soon, jian yi.

jian yi: alright, it was great talking to you.

operator: it was great talking to you too.

i was rereading 19 days and for some reason i imagined he tian playing the piano after chapter 270.

now i headcanon that he tian so confidently promised to learn to play the guitar in a week not just because he's a pretentious asshole. he tian already knows how to play another instrument, the piano, because in his childhood his mum often sat him next to her or on her lap, and little tian listened to her play with a throbbing heart. she taught him for a while, and then, after her death, he tian continued to practice simply because it reminded him of his mother, of those few bright and warm moments from his childhood that he wants to cherish and preserve forever.

he tian doesn't have a piano in his apartment, because technically it's not his apartment, but his uncle or some other relative. or he was too lazy to move it/buy a new one, idk... after all, he tian still hasn't sorted out the boxes with his stuff since moving into his current apartment, and he's about to move again soon (.,_.).

i just can't get over the picture in my head where he tian is playing some melancholic and sorrowful melody, and guanshan is leaning his forehead against the glass of a huge window, watching the raindrops trickle down. when he tian finishes, they huddle together on the couch for a few minutes and then tian rests his head against redhead's lap. guan shan gently strokes his hair, and they talk and talk and talk...

he tian: i need to lose some weight. you've spoiled me, redhead.

mo guan shan: fuck no *cooks 10 times more*

40-year-old he tian has a little tummy. he's still fit and in good shape, it's just that mo's cooking is too delicious to resist. and mo guan shan absolutely loves it, because tian's finally eating (and sleeping) normally.