Latest Posts by satan-was-a-himbo - Page 4

Alternatives to Self Harm

Alternatives for when you’re feeling angry or restless:

Scribble on photos of people in magazines

Viciously stab an orange

Throw an apple/pair of socks against the wall

Have a pillow fight with the wall

Scream very loudly

Tear apart newspapers, photos, or magazines

Go to the gym, dance, exercise

Listen to music and sing along loudly

Draw a picture of what is making you angry

Beat up a stuffed bear

Pop bubble wrap

Pop balloons

Splatter paint

Scribble on a piece of paper until the whole page is black

Filling a piece of paper with drawing cross hatches

Throw darts at a dartboard

Go for a run

Write your feelings on paper then rip it up

Use stress relievers

Build a fort of pillows and then destroy it

Throw ice cubes at the bathtub wall, at a tree, etc

Get out a fine tooth comb and vigorously brush the fur of a stuffed animal (but use gentle vigor)

Slash an empty plastic soda bottle or a piece of heavy cardboard or an old shirt or sock

Make a soft cloth doll to represent the things you are angry at; cut and tear it instead of yourself

Flatten aluminium cans for recycling, seeing how fast you can go

On a sketch or photo of yourself, mark in red ink what you want to do. Cut and tear the picture

Break sticks

Cut up fruits

Make yourself as comfortable as possible

Stomp around in heavy shoes

Play handball or tennis

Yell at what you are breaking and tell it why you are angry, hurt, upset, etc.

Buy a cheap plate and decorate it with markers, stickers, cut outs from magazines, words, images, what ever that expresses your pain and sadness and when you’re done, smash it. (Please be careful when doing this)

The Calm Jar (Fill a mason jar or similar with colored water and glitter. When feeling upset or angry you can shake it to disturb the glitter and focus on that until the glitter settles.)

Blow up a balloon and pop it

Alternatives that will give you a sensation (other than pain) without harming yourself:

Hold ice in your hands, against your arm, or in your mouth

Run your hands under freezing cold water

Snap a rubber band or hair band against your wrist

Clap your hands until it stings

Wax your legs

Drink freezing cold water

Splash your face with cold water

Put PVA/Elmer’s glue on your hands then peel it off

Massage where you want to hurt yourself

Take a hot shower/bath

Jump up and down to get some sensation in your feet

Write or paint on yourself

Arm wrestle with a member of your family

Take a cold bath

Bite into a hot pepper or chew a piece of ginger root

Rub liniment under your nose

Put tiger balm on the places you want to cut. (Tiger balm is a muscle relaxant cream that induces a tingly sensation. You can find it in most health food stores and vitamin stores.)

Alternatives that will distract you or take up time:

Say “I’ll self harm in fifteen minutes if I still want to” and keep going for periods of fifteen minutes until the urge fades

Color your hair

Count up to ten getting louder until you are screaming

Sing on the karaoke machine

Complete something you’ve been putting off

Take up a new hobby

Make a cup of tea

Tell and laugh at jokes

Play solitaire

Count up to 500 or 1000

Surf the net

Make as many words out of your full name as possible

Count ceiling tiles or lights

Search ridiculous things on the web

Colour coordinate your wardrobe

Play with toys, such as a slinky

Go to the park and play on the swings

Call up an old friend

Go “people watching”

Carry safe, rather than sharp, things in your pockets

Do school work

Play a musical instrument

Watch TV or a movie

Paint your nails

Alphabetize your CDs or books

Cook

Make origami to occupy your hands

Doodle on sheets of paper

Dress up or try on old clothes

Play computer games or painting programs, such as photoshop

Write out lyrics to your favorite song

Play a sport

Read a book/magazine

Do a crossword

Draw a comic strip

Make a chain link out of paper counting the hours or days you’ve been self harm free using pretty colored paper

Knit, sew, or make a necklace

Make ‘scoobies’ - braid pieces of plastic or lace, to keep your hands busy

Buy a plant and take care of it

Hunt for things on eBay or Amazon

Browse the forums

Go shopping

Memorize a poem with meaning

Learn to swear in another language

Look up words in a dictionary

Play hide-and-seek with your siblings

Go outside and watch the clouds roll by

Plan a party

Find out if any concerts will be in your area

Make your own dance routine

Trace your hand on a piece of paper; on your thumb, write something you like to look at; on your index finger, write something you like to touch; on your middle finger, write your favorite scent; on your ring finger, write something you like the taste of; on your pinky finger, write something you like to listen to; on your palm, write something you like about yourself

Plan regular activities for your most difficult time of day

Finish homework before it’s due

Take a break from mental processing

Notice black and white thinking

Get out on your own, get away from the stress

Go on YouTube

Make a scrapbook

Colour in a picture or colouring book.

Make a phone list of people you can call for support. Allow yourself to use it.

Pay attention to your breathing (breath slowly, in through your nose and out through your mouth)

Pay attention to the rhythmic motions of your body (walking, stretching, etc.)

Learn HALT signals (hungry, angry, lonely, tired)

Choose a random object, like a paper clip, and try to list 30 different uses for it

Pick a subject and research it on the web - alternatively, pick something to research and then keep clicking on links, trying to get as far away from the original topic as you can.

Take a small step towards a goal you have.

Re-organize your room

Name all of your soft toys

Play the A-Z game (Pick a category ie. Animals, and think of an animal for every letter of the alphabet

Have a lush warm bubble bath with candles!

Do some knitting

Do some house hold chores

Alternatives that are completely bizarre. At the least, you’ll have a laugh:

Crawl on all fours and bark like a dog or another animal

Run around outside screaming

Laugh for no reason whatsoever

Make funny faces in a mirror

Without turning orange, self tan

Pluck your eyebrows

Put faces on apples, oranges, or other sorts of food

Go to the zoo and name all of the animals

Color on the walls

Blow bubbles

Pull weeds in the garden

Alternatives for when you’re feeling guilty, sad, or lonely:

Congratulate yourself on each minute you go without self harming

Draw or paint

Look at the sky

Instead of punishing yourself by self harming, punish yourself by not self harming

Call a friend and ask for company

Buy a cuddly toy

Give someone a hug with a smile

Put a face mask on

Watch a favorite TV show or movie

Eat something ridiculously sweet

Remember a happy moment and relive it for a while in your head

Treat yourself to some chocolate

Try to imagine the future and plan things you want to do

Look at things that are special to you

Compliment someone else

Make sculptures

Watch fish

Youtube funny videos!

Let yourself cry

Play with a pet

Have or give a massage

Imagine yourself living in a perfect home and describe it in your mind

If you’re religious, read the bible or pray

Light a candle and watch the flame (but please be careful)

Go chat in the chat room

Allow yourself to cry; crying is a healthy release of emotion

Accept a gift from a friend

Carry tokens to remind you of peaceful comforting things/people

Take a hot bath with bath oil or bubbles

Curl up under a comforter with hot cocoa and a good book

Make affirmation tapes inside you that are good, kind, gentle (Sometimes you can do this by writing down the negative thoughts and then physically re-writing them into positive messages)

Make a tray of special treats and tuck yourself into bed with it and watch TV or read

Write words in the sand for them to be washed away

Alternatives for when you’re feeling panicky or scared:

“See, hear and feel”-5 things, then 4, then 3 and countdown to one which will make you focus on your surroundings and will calm you down

Listen to soothing music; have a CD with motivational songs that you can listen to

Meditate or do yoga

Name all of your soft toys

Hug a pillow or soft toy

Hyper focus on something

Do a “reality check list” – write down all the things you can list about where you are now (e.g. It is the 9th November 2004, I’m a room and everything is going to be alright)

With permission, give someone a hug

Drink herbal tea

Crunch ice

Hug a tree

Go for a walk if it’s safe to do so

Feel your pulse to prove you’re alive

Go outside and attempt to catch butterflies or lizards

Put your feet firmly on the floor

Accept where you are in the process. Beating yourself up, only makes it worse

Touch something familiar/safeLeave the room

Lay on your back in bed comfortably (eyes closed), and breathe in for 4, hold for 2, out for 4, hold for 2. Make sure to fill your belly up with air, not your chest. If your shoulders are going up, keep working on it. When you’re comfortable breathing, put your hand on your belly and rub up and down in time with your breathing. If your mind wanders to other things, move it back to focusing ONLY on the synchronized movement of your hand and breathing.

Give yourself permission to…. (Keep it safe)

Create a safe place for yourself and take yourself there

Lay on the grass and watch the clouds. You can try to make pictures with them too.

Light a candle and watch the flame

Alternatives that will hopefully make you think twice about harming yourself:

Think about how you don’t want scars

Treat yourself nicely

Remember that you don’t have to hurt yourself just because you’re thinking about self harm

Create a safe place to go

Acknowledge that self harm is harmful behavior: say “I want to hurt myself” rather than “I want to cut”

Repeat to yourself “I don’t deserve to be hurt” even if you don’t believe it

Remember that you always have the choice not to cut: it’s up to you what you do

Think about how you may feel guilty after self harming

Remind yourself that the urge to self harm is impulsive: you will only feel like cutting for short bursts of time

Avoid temptation

Get your friends to make you friendship bracelets: wear them around your wrists to remind you of them when you want to cut

Be with other people

Make your own list of things to do instead of self harm

Make a list of your positive character traits

Be nice to your family, who in return, will hopefully be nice to you

Put a band-aid on the area where you’d like to self harm

Recognize and acknowledge the choices you have NOW

Pay attention to the changes needed to make you feel safe

Notice “choices” versus “dilemmas”

Lose the “should-could-have to” words. Try… “What if”

Kiss the places you want toSHor kiss the places you have healing wounds. It can be a reminder that you care about myself and that you don’t want this

Choose your way of thinking, try to resist following old thinking patterns

The Butterfly project- draw a butterfly on the place(s) that you would self harm and if the butterfly fades without self-harming, it means it has lived and flown away, giving a sense of achievement. Whereas if you do self-harm with the butterfly there; you will have to wash it off. If that does happen, you can start again by drawing a new one on. You can name the butterfly after someone you love.

Write the name of a loved one [a friend, family member, or anyone else who cares about you] and write their name where you want to self harm. When you go to self harm remember how much they care and wouldn’t want you to harm yourself.

think about what you would say to a friend who was struggling with the same things you are and try to be a good friend to yourself.

Make a bracelet out duct tape, and put a line on it every day (Or any period of time) you go without self harm. When it’s full of lines, take it off and make a chain out of all the bracelets and hang it up somewhere where you can be reminded of your great progress.

Alternatives that give the illusion of seeing something similar to blood:

Draw on yourself with a red pen or body paint, or go to a site such as this, where you ‘cut’ the screen (be aware that some users may find this triggering, so view with caution)

Cover yourself with plasters where you want to cut

Give yourself a henna or fake tattoo

Make “wounds” with makeup, like lipstick

Take a small bottle of liquid red food coloring and warm it slightly by dropping it into a cup of hot water for a few minutes. Uncap the bottle and press its tip against the place you want to cut. Draw the bottle in a cutting motion while squeezing it slightly to let the food color trickle out.

Draw on the areas you want to cut using ice that you’ve made by dropping six or seven drops of red food color into each of the ice-cube tray wells.

Paint yourself with red tempera paint.

‘Cut’ your skin with nail polish (it feels cold, but it’s hard to get off)

Use red food colouring on your skin

Alternatives to help you sort through your feelings:

Phone a friend and talk to them

Make a collage of how you feel

Negotiate with yourself

Identify what is hurting so bad that you need to express it in this way

Write your feelings in a diary

Free write (Write down whatever you’re thinking at that moment, even if it doesn’t make sense)

Make lists of everything such as blessings in your life

Make a notebook of song lyrics that you relate to

Call ahotline

Write a letter to someone telling them how you feel (but you don’t have to send it if you decide not to)

Start a grateful journal where everyday you write down three: good things that happened/ things that you accomplished/ are grateful for/ made you smile. Make sure the journal is strictly for positive things. Then when you feel down you can go back and look at it.

Reblog to hug the person you reblogged this from and tell them that everything's going to be okay

Well shit-

Guess we're married-

Child figures 👀 I'm very much LGBT and Dangerous 👀

WISHLIST. 

                  wine drinking buddies. someone   (  has to be an inhuman creature of Wealth and Charm  )   to bitch with.                   ppl for her to be “divorced” from. guys she has so much divorceé energy. ignore the fact she wouldn’t get married bc she doesn’t want to share her wealth by law. functionally divorced w an ex who comes by.                   a little girlfriend who will let her drink their blood and hold a handkerchief for her to clean with when done  ☺️  a good girl  ☺️ ☺️ ☺️                  child figures.  MUST BE LGBT AND DANGEROUS. preferable if they are More Dangerous than they Ever Wanted To Be ……. rather than being tortured by their monstrous nature, she will Empower them    (to eat people  )                   servants.  literally this is such a fun concept. let her be your spooky inhuman boss.             stranger things au.   rich lady pays for experimental treatment for her chronic illness and becomes a horrible beast. someone should probably kill her before she decides to  adopt eleven.             witches coven / vampire coven. @lycaonblood​ gave me this idea and i’ve been obsessed ever since. pls she’s so social and judgemental. pls let her be in a coven so she can flex her wealth and roll her eyes at people who annoy her with your muse.                  texting/email threads!!!!!!   she will hate every second of it but  i ?   i’ll love it. 

What misgendering a trans person will do:

Signal to the trans people in your life that you aren't an ally and aren't a kind person

Make you look like an asshole

What misgendering a trans person will never do:

Make the trans person that you misgendered magically stop being trans

Might as well- I have a test today-

For Writers:

Reblog if it’s okay for your followers to leave you an ask telling you what the one thing is they remember you for as a writer.  Is it a scene or a detail or a specific line? Is it something like style or characterization?  Is it that one weird kink they never thought they’d be into, but oh my god wow self-discovery time?

😔 Fr

it’s the urge to write but also not to write at the same time for me-

How I'm feeling right now:

:very silently reblogs:

LET'S GO! TIME TO GO BOTHER MAGGIE!!!

MAGGIE FUCKING WON AN AWARD!!!! Y'ALL GO AND CONGRATULATE HER!!!!!

What type of CRACK FIC?!

I HAD AN AI WRITE A STORY ABOUT Y/N AND LADY DIMITRESCU AND HOLY FUCK I AM DYING

Silly Y/N

A Short Story

by AI

Y/N had always loved elegant Castle Dimitrescu with its curved, crowded castle. It was a place where she felt angry.

She was a silly, peculiar, whiskey drinker with sexy boobs and strong neck. Her friends saw her as a snotty, solid stubborn. Once, she had even made a cup of tea for a salty daughter. That's the sort of woman he was.

Y/N walked over to the window and reflected on her scary surroundings. The snow flurried like running lycans.

Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Alcina Dimitrescu. Alcina was a sexy strong with muscular boobs and tall neck.

Y/N gulped. She was not prepared for Alcina.

As Y/N stepped outside and Alcina came closer, she could see the hurt glint in her eye.

Alcina gazed with the affection of 5158 lovable mushy moraicia. She said, in hushed tones, "I love you and I want making love."

Y/N looked back, even more love and still fingering the good wee wee. "Alcina, “I love you.”," she replied.

They looked at each other with angst feelings, like two flaky, few flies drinking at a very spiteful Christmas Party, which had jazz music playing in the background and two incredible uncles dying to the beat.

Suddenly, Alcina lunged forward and tried to punch Y/N in the face. Quickly, Y/N grabbed the good wee wee and brought it down on Alcina's skull.

Alcina's muscular boobs trembled and her tall neck wobbled. She looked happy, her emotions raw like a greasy, grim gun.

Then she let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Alcina Dimitrescu was dead.

Y/N went back inside and made herself a nice glass of whiskey.

THE END

"I don't have the strength to see you cry..."

CW: Scared Bela. Abandonment (In A Way), A Healthy Seasoning of Angst

Bela steps in, beaming, eager to inform you about the conclusion of her novel. When she steps in and finds you sobbing, she becomes a little alarmed. “Y-Y/N?” You're lying on the floor, sobbing over something Bela can't quite put her finger on.

“Would you like to me to get mother?” “No...it’s fine…” “I’ll leave you be then.”

Before stepping toward the door, she attempts a feeble grin.

“No...don’t go…” “Y/N...I don't have the strength to see you cry…I’m sorry...”

She opens the door and looks back at you. "I promise you will heal." She shuts the door behind her before thunking her head against it.

“If only I were strong.”

"You're the only thing I think I got right."

Source

CW: Happy Crying Romantic Daniela

Daniela and you take a stroll around the vineyard at Castle Dimitrescu. She grips your hand firmly. You two were laughing and smiling together while talking about nothing. Daniela then falls quiet.

“Dani?” “You know…You're the only thing I think I got right.”

When you glance at her, you notice tears welling up in her eyes. “Daniela? What's the matter?" She wipes the tears from her eyes and smiles warmly at you. "You are literally the most amazing person on the planet! And I'm happy to call you mine." She kisses your forehead before taking both of your hands in her own.

“You are so gorgeous, and smart, and you’re so fucking hilarious and-”

With a passionate kiss, you cut short her words. When you do this, it catches her by surprise, and you both fall to the ground. As she drapes her arms around your neck, you can feel the pleasant smile on her lips. When you break the kiss, you both speak at the same time, the same sentence leaving your lips.

“I love you.”

"Everything was fine until you came around."

CW: Angry but Soft Bela

“Bela, you’re not that good at hiding your emotions from me...You know that right?” “Everything was fine until you came around.” “What?” “You heard me, Y/N.”

She raises her head from her book before tossing it on the ground. "You entered the palace and concluded that I was what you want." You have a puzzled expression on your face as you stare at her. "B, that wasn't a choice... It occurred randomly, darlin-"

“Don’t call me darling, Y/N!”

You fall silent as you stare at her. Her expression is a combination of rage and perplexity. But you could sense awe in her eyes.

“I don’t know how to deal with this. This...feeling.” “What does is the feeling?” “I don’t know, Y/N!” “Explain it.”

She gives you the softest look she can muster. "It's soft...and warm." It's soft and warm, and it's nice." You turn to face her, raising her head to your level. You give her a gentle look.

“That’s what love feels like.”

You need to STOP giving me IDEAS!

Reblog if you wouldn’t mind some curious anons right now❣️🤫

What kind of person do u see Mother Miranda as?

I see Mother Miranda as just a tad more different than she is canonly and as everyone else sees her.

Mother Miranda has a last name but prefers for little to no one to know it due to what happened in her past.

Her last name is Sokolov, which means bird of prey. It's also her family name.

Mother Miranda loves her children.

All of them.

Not equally but she loves all of them.

She will stop at nothing to resurrect her daughter.

She dislikes and will kill people she doesn't care for. She will not bat an eyelash.

Mother Miranda is multilingual

She took the time to learn the languages her children know

She does get on Heisenberg for only know English

She will kick the asses of all of the Dimitrescu daughters if they EVER call her Babushka (Daniela has done it before)

Mother Miranda is ruthless in the bedroom

Depending on her relationship with someone and how much she like them determines how she is in the bedroom with them

If she loves you, she'll give you everything you'd ever dream of in the bedroom

And if you get lucky, you may even taste her.

If you're just a one time thing, you're receiving

You will be taking until you can't take anymore and pass out

She won't let you touch her

Grip onto the sheets if you have to but do not touch her

And it is NEVER in her own bedroom

Her bedroom is her sacred space for the people she loves

She doesn't kiss unless she REALLY loves you

Punishments will be given if you attempt to get more than she offers

She DESPISES being called Mommy in the bedroom

She prefers not to be called any titles related to royalty

If you call her goddess and you are just doing it to flirt she'll lift an eyebrow before punishing you for having the nerve to flirt with her

But if you do it and she adores you, it will drive her crazy

Source

That's all I have for now, but I hope that answered your question!

No you!

You're done. You're done.

Broke: Lady D has her redwings

Woke: Lady D actively enjoys having her redwings

Bespoke: Lady D would stick a boba straw right in a menstruating maiden’s pussy and suck her dry with such ferocity that her sides would cave in like a capri sun pouch.

"Why am I easy for you to forget like that?"

CW: Post Break-Up, Angst, Coffee Shop AU

You walk into your local coffee shop. You absolutely despised going on Wednesdays at this specific time because,

“Good morning, love. The usual?” “Daniela, you left me two months ago.” “Yes, I know.”

She rolls her eyes as she prepares your coffee, just the way you like it. "Do Wednesdays still strike you as hard as they did before without me?" Daniela gave you a sly grin. She has no right to say that! "Please, Daniela, don't start this shit. I'm not in the mood."

"When my lips were on you, Wednesdays weren't so unpleasant." “Daniela.” “Sorry! I can’t help but flirt!”

Your card is clenched between your fingers. "I'm done with you, Daniela. You abandoned me, and it hurt." Before she sighs, her eyes dilate. "Yes, I'm aware, and I apologize." She had a genuine look on her face.

“Give me the goddamn coffee so I can forget you for the week.”

She instantly snatches the coffee back, looking at you with a broad-eyed expression. Tears slowly start to well up in her eyes. “Why am I easy for you to forget like that? You just get your coffee and my face vanishes from your mind?” She clutches it in her fingers. You see the cup start to bend.

“Ideally, but that doesn’t happen, now does it? I still come back here.” “You are so full of shit!” “Says the one who left in the fucking first place!”

The lid of the cup pops off and the coffee splashes out. The two of you made a scene. Exactly what you needed this morning. “Look what you did, Daniela!” She throws the cup down and when she looks at you, it is pure hatred. She throws down the apron. She walks out of the cafe, and disappears in the middle of the road in an angry swarm of flies.

"Please don't leave me alone..."

CW: Mentions of Carmilla

The two of you were having your regular afternoon in her room. The two of you would read together and you’d head back to your room and sleep for the night. But tonight that energy was a bit...off.

The two of you started a new book, Carmilla. It’s about a vampire named Mircalla Karnstein who feeds on young women. You’d heard the maidens around the castle talking about how the daughters are just like her. You didn’t see that as a bad thing but Bela did, apparently.

After a brief conversation on why not to read the book, you are thoroughly convinced not to read the book. You go to put the book back in the library until Bela’s voice sounds behind you.

“Please don’t leave me alone..” “What?” “I don’t want any of the maidens to murder me while you’re gone.” “And why would they do that?” “Because I’m like Carmilla…”

You discard the book to the floor, walking towards Bela. You take her into your arms, kissing her forehead. “You have nothing to worry about. Nothing to be scared about. Alcina nor your sisters would let something like that happen to you.” She nuzzles into your embrace, completely forgetting about the book.

"I wish you knew how much I adored you..."

CW: Death, Angst, Upset and Crying Alcina

“Mother!” Bela cries from alongside you. You had collapsed to the ground. Your heart had stopped for a brief period before starting to beat like a drum, the sisters had heard. "Mother! Y/N collapsed!" Daniela wailed and disintegrated into a swarm of flies. "Mother! Mother!" Cassandra shrieked and vanished among the insects. Bela softly nudged you, and she began to notice a slowing of your heartbeat and the color fading from your eyes.

"Come swiftly, Mother!"

As you lay on the castle floor, you could hear the countess' thunderous footfall. The steps abruptly come to a halt. Why had she frozen? She was never vocal about her feelings for you. She'd never be attracted to a mere mortal. When your eyes finally met hers, your world went black. Her eyes were fluttering with terror.

Daniela's eyes welled up with tears. She made an attempt to cheer everyone up.

"Maybe they were just exhausted!" sniffled Daniela with a soft chuckle. “I just watched Y/N die, Daniela! You can't say they were exhausted!" "I'm trying to lift your spirits, Bela!" "Well, Daniela, you're not lifting it now, are you?"

Cassandra joins in the dispute. It's too much for Alcina. Not right now, especially not right now. “Tăcere!” The three girls fell silent.

“This is not the time, nor the place.” “But mother-” “Ce tocmai am spus?”

The three sisters exchange a look of shame and sorrow. They could tell that this had a larger effect upon their mother than it did on them. Bela vanished amid a swarm of insects, signalling her sisters to follow her. They follow suit, leaving Alcina with you alone.

"I wish you had known how much I adored you..." Alcina sobs as she cradles your frail body. Your heart stopped beating, and you were utterly still.

I am going to start posting all of my RE8 writing pieces on my RE8 Blog! (With the exception of my Imagines and Incorrect Quotes) I have a new angsty little piece up for your enjoyment!

Imagine...

Bela is absolutely feral for you but the lust is bleeding through. She says each of the lines of the first verse of the song slowly to you, backing you against a wall. She turns you around where your front is on the wall as she whispers in a low growl...

"Tell me you want me."

Imagine...

Bela and you are playing around the castle. It's like tag in away. Something you say while she chases you makes her go feral. Her movements and advances aren't as playful and calculated as before. It was more...wild, like a you'd let a beast out of its cage to play. She was only a whisper away as she growled...

"My playful little one...I want to tear you apart."

This reminds me of Bela...it just...

Imagine Bela trying on Lady Dimitrescu's old clothes and finding out that they fit the curves of her body perfectly. She uses her hairbrush as a microphone and this song comes on. She starts dancing and singing. She pulls you up off the bed to dance with her. With the blessing of having Lady Dimitrescu as her mother, her voice is amazing.

Just...imagine.

“I don’t want to let them go...”

CW: Just a dash of Angst.

“I don’t want to let them go…” Daniela sobs as she looks down at your battered body. Alcina had a maid tend to all of your wounds, and Daniela was allowed to remain in the room with you to keep an eye on you.

“You won’t have to, my sweetling.” Alcina whispered, kissing Daniela’s forehead before leaving the two of you alone. You are barely conscious but you still have enough strength to tap Daniela’s hand. She lifts her eyes to meet your half-lidded gaze.

“What are you so upset about? Hm?” “You got really hurt, Y/N! I was worried about you!” “You have no need to be...I’m fine now…”

Her lip trembles as tears rise up in her eyes. “No...no tears...Come here.” She gets onto the bed with you, her head under your chin as she gently sobs against your chest.

Yet another Bela video I have saved

Angst for your tea, anyone?

Good evening or morning or afternoon everyone, welcome to another Angsty Wednesday Saturday here with me on my very ✨angsty✨ and sometimes concerning channel📸 😛✌🏻

Y’all in all seriousness this one is really fucked up, probably the most fucked up thing I’ve ever written. I’ve had this in my drafts for so long but I’ve finally decided to post it. I’m going to warn again, it’s got a lot of extreme shit in here so if you’re squeamish to torture or if it makes you uncomfortable I wouldn’t read this.

Apologies in advance

Alcina x Reader

TW: mentions of torture

Today feature a very sad headcannon/ one-shot in which you were captured by Miranda, tortured, and escaped making your way back to the castle.

You were stumbling through the Village barefoot and barely conscious. It was blisteringly cold out and you only had on a pair of trousers that were ripped and torn, a shirt that was also torn, and your dirty boots. It was so cold you could feel your toes going numb even through your steel toed boots. The wind whipped across your bruised and bloody face as you continued walking through the Village. You honestly had no idea how you were even managing being able to walk. You definitely had a few broken ribs, your shoulder felt like hell, and you felt sick whenever you put pressure onto your left leg. You didn’t even have a coat to protect yourself from the winter air, just your torn up shirt that was more of a towel at this point.

You weren’t sure how long you had been tortured for but it had definitely been over three days. You didn’t know what day it was right now or what time it was, but none of that mattered. You just wanted to see Alcina one last time. You didn’t want to die in that bitches lair, you wanted to die in Alcina’s arms and feel her hold you. And that was a promise you had made to yourself. If you were going to die it would be in Alcina’s arms, not alone in a cell rotting away. Miranda had told you repeatedly that Alcina didn’t love you, that if she did she would had rescued you right away and she hadn’t. You knew that she was lying to you, you knew that she was just trying to torture you emotionally and make you believe Alcina felt nothing for you. You had heard Cassandra torturing her victims in a similar way. Miranda didn’t know anything Alcina was thinking, and honestly even if Miranda was right about Alcina not loving you, the pain you felt in your body made you give less of a shit about how anyone felt about you right now.

For a while, you wandered around aimlessly in the Village wondering where to go and what to do. Everything was hazy and confusing, and you felt sick to your stomach. The castle was calling to you and even if Alcina didn’t love you, where else could you go? You were injured, and disoriented, and you knew the Castle was your best option to go. Even if Alcina didn’t love you, you still wanted to be in her arms when you died. And you could feel death pulling you closer and closer.

You limped on drawing towards the big Castle. You could see it was closer now, the last time you looked up it had been much farther away from you. You were nodding in and out, one minute you were walking out of Miranda’s hideout, the next you were somewhere in the Village, and now you were in front of the castle. How had that happened?

The door was only a few yards away. You used the wall to lean up against and looked at the stairs. This would be a challenge for sure, but you made it this far and you were not dying on the damned stairs. You’d make it inside the warmth of the castle, you could already feel the heat from the many fire places and smell the mouth watering food. The head maid Serana was probably baking some pastries for the girls. ‘Yum,’ you thought. Her baking and cooking was excellent.

You leaned against the stone wall and with all your strength, lifted yourself onto the first few steps. Not so bad, painful, but you were still standing. You looked behind yourself and saw you were leaving a trail of blood. Damn. Hopefully Miranda wouldn’t follow you all the way back to the castle and finish you off. You panted a bit more trying to catch your breath and ascended up the next few steps. That had been a mistake! You felt your left leg giving in and fell to your knees making the pain in your leg, shoulder, and ribs worse. Everything hurt. Everything felt broken and you knew you were covered from head to toe in blood, bruises, marks, lashes, lacerations. You couldn’t even open your right eye, it was swollen shut and you could still feel blood trickling down your nose and lip. ‘Damn, she really did a number on me,’ you thought, crawling up the last few steps and to the door.

You laid there for a while and tried to catch your breath coughing and wheezing. You wanted to fall asleep and rest for awhile, the snow and cold didn’t feel so bad anymore and you actually started feeling a little warm. Weird.

You looked up and raised your hand to the door. “Please dear god, please let this open,” you whispered, pulling yourself up a little and beginning to open the heavy castle door. You could feel it move a little and slipped your arm inside pulling it further. It hurt your shoulders and you coughed a little from the pressure and the cold air you’d been breathing in, but you managed to open it just enough to slip inside. You were crouched over and leaning against the door, shutting it to prevent any cold air from getting inside.

The warmth of the castle instantly heated you up and you could feel your skin burning and itching. You were shaking the coldness off and whimpered against the wall you were using for support. You couldn’t walk straight anymore or stand up, it was too hard. You had used all your strength to open the door and climb those steps. Now you just felt cold, beaten, tired, and weak. “Alci,” you whispered alone to no one in particular.

The castle seemed empty, there wasn’t a maid in sight and you had no idea where the girls and Alcina were. Well knowing Alcina, she was probably in her office working on her business and doing paper work. Dani was probably reading in the library, Bela was most likely helping her Mother with paperwork and Cass was probably in the basement torturing someone. You shuddered and tired not to think about it.

Miranda put Cassandra to shame with her way of torture, AND THAT WAS HARD TO BEAT! You did not think it was possible for anyone to upshow Cassandra, but she did it. Miranda had broken bones, cut you, beat you and she broke you. Not just physically, but mentally and psychologically too. She had asked you how Alcina could possibly love a mere mortal like you. If she did love you then she would have saved you, surely? And she didn’t. No one came to your rescue, you had to fight your way out of that hellhole yourself. You were too tired to ask Alcina that question anyways, you just wanted to slump over and sleep.

“Ughhhhhhh,” you groaned out, finding yourself on the floor now. Had you fallen? Must have, you could feel your palms stinging from trying to catch yourself falling down. The stone floor beneath you felt cool and the warmth from the fires in the castle made you shiver and shake against the stone floor. You probably had frostbite somewhere or were at least very close to having it.

“MOTHER!!! MOTHER COME QUICK!!!!” you heard someone shout. Probably one of the girls. Well it had to be one of the girls, who else would call Alcina ‘Mother?’ You opened your e/c eyes again and saw blood seeping from your wounds and pooling onto the floor. It would be a nice snack for Alcina later, you thought.

You could hear buzzing coming towards you and footsteps in the distance and tried to curl up in a protective ball. What if it was Miranda coming back to beat you again? You knew curling yourself into a ball would do nothing to protect you, but what else could you do, except lie there and pray your nerves would somehow turn off so you wouldn’t feel the pain anymore. “Y/N?” you heard a soft voice next to you and braced yourself. It didn’t sound like Miranda but it probably was. You were back in that horrible cell and Miranda was coming to haunt you again. “Don’t worry, Mother’s almost here! Just-just hold on!”

“Oh my god! Bela, look at her!” You shut your eye closed as tight as you could, panting and whimpered against the floor, now Miranda was making herself sound like Cassandra. Why couldn’t she just kill you and be done with it? Why did you have to keep being hurt over and over! “Please God, let this be it,” you whispered to yourself waiting for the first blow to come.

“Honey hold on, Mother’s almost here. MOTHER!!! MOTHER, HURRY!” You whimpered on the floor and felt tears coming out of your eyes. “Daniela! Stop yelling, you’re scaring her!”

“Y/N!” Alcina. “Darling, my Draga!” you could heard thunderous footsteps coming closer and closer and sobbed on the floor. “No, no, no, no more! No more, please!” you begged.

“It’s okay, you’re safe now!” “You’re not with Miranda anymore, you’re with us!” “We aren’t going to let anything happen to you! We promise!” You heard the girls say to you. You chanced a glance and opened your eye that wasn’t swollen shut. Your hair was obscuring your view slightly, but you could see Bela, Cass and Dani hovering over you, petting you softly. You felt a little safer now, Miranda couldn’t make herself look like all three of the girls… could she?

“Y/N!” Alcina yelled, running up to you and and kneeling down on your side. The girls made room for her and helped Alcina turn you over as gently as they could. “Ahhh- stop! Ngh,” you groaned out, feeling your muscles and body ache all over from them moving you.

Alcina gasped and put a hand over her mouth as she looked at you, having a clearer view of what Miranda had done to you now. Your clothes were ripped and torn to pieces, blood poured out from you seemingly all over and you were covered in bruises, scrapes, cuts, shaking and whimpering on the ground. Alcina let out what sounded like a half wail and half scream. “Fata mea draga! săraca mea, săraca fată! Ce ți s-a întâmplat?!” Alcina screamed out, scooping you up in your arms and cradling you. “Oh, my sweet, sweet darling! You’re safe now, you’re safe! Nothing will hurt you again, I swear it!”

“Mother, her wounds!” Cassandra said.

“We have to do something about this now! Mother, she needs medical attention!” Bela said, holding Daniela who had her hands clamped over her mouth.

“Yes… yes, of course. Come daughters!” Alcina yelled, snapping out of her grief and standing back up. She sprinted through the castle and ran up the stairs and into her chambers where Donna had set up the bed for you. She had been staying with Alcina for the past few nights helping her devise a plan to rescue you and preparing for the worst. Towels were laid down on the bed and a bunch of first aid supplies were set up around the area for her and Alcina to use. Donna had brought a bunch of healing ailments and herbs from her garden to help heal your wounds, she had really prepared for the absolute worst. And what an absolute horrible state you were in, bleeding out and dying in your lovers arms. Your blood had even painted Alcina’s dress a dark, crimson red.

Alcina burst through her door, knocking it to the ground and running up to the bed where she gently laid you down on the towels Donna had provided. “Donna, we must act quickly! She’s lost too much blood, we need to hurry if we are to save her!” Alcina begged to Donna who had remained silent. The two women set to work immediately without needing to speak to each other. They seemed to know what to do before needing to do it. Alcina lifted you up, ignoring your gasps and shutters from the pain and helped Donna taking your clothes off. The two women stripped you naked and took a closer examination of your wounds. “Cassandra, grab the towels and start wiping off the blood.” Alcina said with a shaky voice. The brunette immediately flew over to your side, towels at the ready, and began to soak up the blood from your body. You tried to move away from her but found you couldn’t.

Alcina pulled out a syringe and a vial, filling it with a brown liquid and looking for a vein in your body. “For the pain, darling. It will help,” she said, running a hand down your face. You panicked at seeing something sharp towards you but you trusted Alcina’s words and felt the pinch of the needle entering your skin. Almost immediately, you felt loads better. The pain in your body seemed to settle and soon you could feel nothing, physically and emotionally. All you felt was sleep calling your name and succumbed to its warm embrace. The last thing you saw was Alcina hovering over you, her breast heaving, and her hands cupping your face. “Sleep now, dragul meu,” the Countess said, kissing your forehead. Then, all you saw was blackness.

“It will be much easier to address her wounds now that Y/N’s asleep, Alcina. She won’t feel any pain.” Donna said reassuringly. Alcina nodded her head and stared at you sadly for a few seconds before snapping herself out of her thoughts. Cassandra stepped aside as Alcina grabbed the first aid and uncorked it, pouring a generous amount onto your wounds. The skin instantly began to repair itself, smaller cuts healing immediately some larger ones closing but still remaining. Donna used gauze to wrap your wounds up as Alcina worked starting at your head and down towards your feet. “Slight trauma to her skull, it appears,” Alcina said. She worked her down to your torso and noted the deep bruising that formed on the right side of you. Alcina felt and prodded it a bit before sighing. “Broken ribs as well, and I’m sure I do not need to test the leg to see whether it’s broken or not.”

Donna nodded her head in agreement. “I have some herbs that will help with the pain once she’s awake, but time will have to heal the broken bones.”

“Yes. The most we can do for now is wrap up her leg and keep it elevated,” Alcina said. Once the front of your body had been addressed, the women turned you over and began to address the wounds on the back of your body. The back wasn’t as bad as the front had been, it just had more bruises and lash marks on you. They followed the same routine as they had for the front, Alcina pouring first aid down your back healing lash marks and gashes, followed by Donna who would use bandaids or gauze on your wounds. When they were done you looked a lot better, mostly covered in cuts and bruises and not seeping blood from seemingly everywhere.

Donna and Alcina were careful to pull the towels from under you and turned you back over being mindful of your broken leg. Alcina glanced over to her daughters who were all huddled together looking extremely concerned and scared. Her heart went out to them and she reassured them you would be alright. “Daughters look, she’s much better now. Her condition has improved significantly,” Alcina said, stepping aside so they could inspect you. Daniela was able to relax a bit once she saw that you were not covered from head to toe in deep gashes and cuts. “Mother, will Y/N be okay?” Daniela asked.

“Of course, my sweetling. I won’t let her slip away from us.” Donna had started wrapping your leg with trauma dresses tightly and created a makeshift cast. They propped your leg up on a few pillow and did the same to your ribs. “Wait, Mother! I can make this better!” Daniela yelled, turning into her swarm and flying out of the room. Bela and Cassandra looked confused as they waited for Daniela to return moments later. Once said redhead returned, she had her veil along with her sisters tied into a long strip. She flew up to the ceiling and used her flies to tie one side, Cassandra joining her once she got the idea and together the girls made a sling for your leg to rest in. “Look! It’s a sling!” Daniela yelled, pointing at her work.

“Very good, Daniela. That was quick thinking on your end,” Alcina said, kissing her daughter and holding her as Daniela tightly hugged her mother back. Alcina opened her arms for her other daughters to join and together the Dimitrescu’s huddled standing over you. After a while, Bela and Cassandra took Daniela out of the room as she could no longer hold back her grief and was sobbing hysterically. Alcina wiped her own tears away and looked back at you. Donna had pulled some blankets over your naked form and went into the bathroom to fill up a large bowl of water. She was using a rag to wipe some of the remaining blood off of you and had put a few bandaids on your face. Alcina wet another rag and placed it on your forehead. “Her feet are not frost bitten. That is good.” Donna said.

“I suppose I should thankful the snow has melted. Had she been out there any longer….” Alcina ran a hand down your face and felt tears come to her eyes. “Thank you, Donna.”

“Of course. I will go and call Heisenberg to see if he has made any improvements with our plan.” Alcina nodded her head and sat down on the bed next to you. The Lords had been working together to devise a plan to rescue you and get revenge on Miranda. It was obvious she had kidnapped you, Alcina knew that much but why she did Alcina didn’t know. To hurt her by hurting you? Alcina let out a shaky breath she didn’t realize she had been holding in and felt more tears streaming down her face.

“Ugh,” you groaned out opening your eye.

“Darling,” Alcina whispered, leaning in towards you and cupping your face. You blinked and looked around you. “How do you feel?”

“Like shit,” you said with a raspy voice. Alcina chuckled and sniffed the gave you kisses on your cheek.

“Dragul meu, my darling,” Alcina said, leaning in to you mere inches from your face. You could feel her tears dripping onto your face. “I am- so sorry. I am so so sorry!” She started crying now and you hugged her.

“For what? You didn’t do anything, Alci.”

“I should have saved you the moment you were abducted! I should have never left your side, I should been there with you when Miranda took you!” she cried.

“No, Alci. Please, don’t blame yourself,” you whispered.

“But it is my fault! Look at what she’s done to you! What I have allowed to happen!”

“No, Alci. You didn’t do this, none of this is your fault. Please, don’t do that. I can’t- I don’t think I can talk too much right now.” You felt exhausted and wanted to fall back asleep.

“Of course, darling,” Alcina replied, sniffing. “Is there anything you need? Anything at all?”

“Mmm, just… hold me a while.”

“Of course, my love.” Alcina moved to the other side of the bed and laid next to you. You couldn’t move at all, your leg was hanging in a sling and your entire body was covered in bandaids and dressings. Everything hurt. Alcina was careful moving around you, she didn’t want to hurt you and make your injuries worse. She helped sit you up a bit so you could move to lay on her chest. Alcina wrapped her arms around you protectively and placed soft kisses everywhere on your face. She started humming a soft tune and lulled you back to a dreamless sleep.