Alstroemeria

My first cross to bear is my family. I can't even explain how it feels to grow up in an abusive enviroment just to move out and live among people who don't respect you and see you as lesser, have hatered in their eyes everytime they look at you, dismiss your words as if you were a child or an animal with no agency, see you as needy for wanting your basic, natural human needs satisfied.

Second is being a neurodivergent woman in society. It taught me that being overly altruistic is a one big trap.

1. It's against my nature

2. It's denying myself basic respect by accepting that it won't be mutual

Did some good things for myself as of late, hope it'll help me heal

idk, is it really body positive if the reason why I doodle hairy women so much is because I find them incredibly sexy?

women's hairy armpits are just...

Just to clear things out.

I'm not a radfem myself because I'm an aggressively homosexual superhyperlesbian which contradicts radfem ideals about "sexualising women = bad".

I still see alot of radfems as my allies however, they are the only ones who truly care about same sex spaces which ofc includes same sex spaces for lesbians like myself. Despite of everything I'm still a feminist ally and even though I don't call myself a feminist (not anymore), many characterise me as such.

I'm still learning that the only person who I can truly trust and find comfort in is myself.

masculinity in women is freaking amazing

Signs of unhealthy masculinity in women:

- hating your natural female traits (breasts, hips)

- hating your voice or height

- irrational fear of being percieved as feminine by other people

- obsessing with gender roles (especially in relationships, metaattraction - being attracted to someone only because this person will affirm your masculinity)

- fear of being vulnerable, being uncomfortable with receiving sexual pleasure from your partner (in fear it will "feminise you", it comes from unhealthy views about womanhood and sexuality)

Signs of healthy masculinity in women:

- wanting to be fit and taking care of your body

- embracing all natural traits of your female body and respecting them

- having strenght that doesn't fear vulnerability with a trusted person (it takes strenght to be vulnerable)

- wisdom to recognise negative/sexist thought patterns

- having sexual boundries but not being afraid of having someone pleasure you because you know you deserve it and it's not degrading

- dressing however you want, make-up/no make-up doesn't matter, just wearing what you think makes you look good

- not caring about gender roles much (doesn't matter if sth you do will be seen as "feminine" or "masculine" by society, do what you want)

- having discipline and determination, facing your fears, focusing on self improvement

- being kind to yourself

I wish I had someone to talk to sometimes.

Idk it is a human need right? Same as sex.

We're herd animals after all.

my crude sense of humor is an extention of my polishness, my native language lacks alot of "sexy" words so I use profanities in a playful way and laugh at them