Imagine If Tim Was Like 'I'm Over This'. Over The Lack Of Trust, Over The Pushing Things Under The Rug,

Bruce: I love you, kids. You're the best thing that ever happened to me.

Dick: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you?

Bruce: Yes.

Jason: Now I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.

Tim: Did you know there's like a 95% chance I'll become a supervillain at any given moment?

Bruce: I'm sorry, what

Tim: Yeah, I know, it haunts my every waking moment.

Does Batman have special training to knock out that urge to correct someone when they say incorrect stuff?

The Bats are paranoid and keep secrets. They can keep a secret identity and avoid people's questions. When the person outright believes something wrong, though? That's when it gets tricky. Is there just a few months of training where Bruce claims incorrect things about the Robin and they have to not correct him? He'll just randomly state it midpatrol to try to catch them off guard while they struggle.

Possible phrases Bruce has used.

Dick- "You're an excellent acrobat, but you couldn't land a quadruple backflip on the first try."

Jason - "Jane Austen isn't your favorite writer, right?"

Tim - "Zesti sucks."

Steph - "You don't know how to play piano."

Damian - "Animals suck."

Duke - "You tend to follow the law."

Tim sharing characterizations as a raccoon is so fucking cute you telling me this kid didn't end up in the trash while on his 'photography' trips?

Batfamily Shenanigans Pt: 4

Jason reading in the library with a cup of tea.

Tim: Jason

Jason: Mmm?*Sips Tea*

Tim:—Damian put laxatives in your tea this morning for using his favorite China cup.

Jason: *Sips tea all over the floor*

———

Batman at the Watchtower giving a oral debate discussion.

Flash: Bats what’s in your cape?

Batman: What are talking about? *Large lump in his cape on full display.*

Green Lantern (Hal): The massive lump in your cape!

*Cue a 6’2 over 200 lbs of muscle in a red helmet with two large pistols strapped to his thighs.*

Red Hood: Alfred wanted to know if you wanted Herb Crusted Salmon or Chicken Fingers for dinner?

Batman: Chicken tenders will do.

Red Hood turns to the League and waves: Hi Diana

Wonder Woman (warmly): Hello child.

Red Hood leaves, and Batman returns to his conversation.

Hal: *Internally about to combust*

————

Clark: So this is just normal day in the Wayne Residence?

Dick swinging upside from the chandelier, Tim throwing batarangs at Damian who’s chasing him running full force with a sharpie Katana, Cass braiding Bab’s hair while she’s on a FaceTime with Dinah and Helena, and Stephanie and Duke place stickers and sharpie drawing on Jason’s face as he snores loudly.

Bruce while sipping his coffee: Yes it’s just another Tuesday.

————

Dick serving Damian and Duke warm fluffy pancakes and fresh chopped fruits.

Damian: Grayson?

Dick: Yeah, lil Dee?

Damian: Did Pennyworth prepare this?

Dick (confused): No, I did.

Duke:When?

Dick: Just now. Eat up guys it’ll be time for me to take you guys to school soon. *Leaves kitchen whistling*

Duke (whispering): I thought he couldn’t boil water?

Damian: I was told the same information Thomas,I am just as surprised as you.

*Both begin to eat and surprisingly the food is tasty*

Tim:No way Dick made breakfast?!

Duke and Damian both share a confused look.

Duke: Wait so Dick had known how to cook this whole time, then why did you tell me he couldn’t?

Tim with a mouthful of pancakes:Yes it was a lie,I love when Dick cooks and I wanted be the only one to eat it.

Damian and Duke share another look.

Damian:I curse the day of your conception Drake.

Tim: Mhmm, are you gonna eat those?

Damian gives him the rest of his pancakes.

Dick returns to the kitchen dressed for the day: There’s some left, does anyone want seconds?

Tim with syrup all over his face and with a demonic voice: Gove it to me.

Dick,Duke, and Damian:………

————

Superman and Wonder Woman burst into the Batcave.

Superman: We got your destress call,what wrong?

Bruce turns in his chair to look at them: I didn’t issues a destress call.

Wonder Woman:Like Hera you didn’t, we got here as soon as we could.

Dick drops down from the ceiling.

Dick: I summoned you both here.

All: What for?

Alfred arrives with a smug look on his face: Master Dick thought it would be wise for you both to spend the day with Master Bruce he had been quite grumpy as of late.

Bruce: have not.

Dick: Has too.

Clark (chuckling): If you missed us you could have just called.

Bruce(grumpily): I did not.

Diana holding her Lasso in hand: Shall we test that theory?

Alfred clearing his throat:I have taken the liberty of preparing tea along with finger sandwiches and pastries in the sunroom if you both would follow me.

Bruce turns to Dick blankly: why would you do that.

Dick grinning evily: Payback for the Penguin case.

Bruce:That was two months ago.

Dick: I never forget B, remember that. Save a sandwich for me Alfred!

Bruce staring blankly into the cave before getting up and following: I have raised a monster.

random percy headcanons:

wants to be the photographer friend SO bad and he technically is but like 70% of the pics come out blurry or weird bc there was a monster attack in the middle of them. his instagram is truly so chaotic looking.

literally always has seashells on him someone will ask him for a pencil or spare change and he has to empty all his pockets of shells to find it. drops his backpack and a bunch of shells fall out. kicks his shoes off and sand and shells fly out and his mortal friends are like percy What the Fuck

his eyes glow underwater!! bioluminescent king. no one told him though and he didn't find out until he joined his school's swim team and terrified everyone (he managed to convince them his contacts were having a weird reaction to chlorine lmao)

he really likes art!! he doesn't just pretend to for rachel's sake he genuinely enjoys painting with her. he likes splatter paint, collages and pop art styles the best. one day after splitting some edibles they realized percy could manipulate water colors and went CRAZY with it

will ask to be excused during class and comes back like an hour later with scorch marks all over his face bleeding from one of his ears covered in dust missing three fingernails rips in his jeans and a fat lip and the teacher is like percy what the actual hell were you doing in the bathroom all this time and he's just like uhhhhhh I have ibs

the brand from camp jupiter did unfortunately (for sally) Unlock something in him lmfao he keeps getting shitty little tattoos. usually stick-n-poke but someone's friends cousin's girlfriend's brother has a gun that gets brought to parties every now and then. most of them are sloppy but you can tell what they are HOWEVER he has one that was supposed to be a seal that came out looking like one of those shitty ms paint crying memes. annabeth laughed at him for ten minutes straight when she saw it.

he wanted to dye his hair blue but he was too chicken to bleach his entire head so he just did the tips. his hair is curly though so it looks absolutely ridiculous but he loves it

percy and annabeth get a crusty little yappy white dog in college and he carries it around like a baby lmao

back to his chaotic instagram, he's got so many pics of him like, relaxing at the bottom of the mariana trench or hugging a giant squid or riding on a whale shark and his mortal friends all think he's just really good at photoshop and this is a very specific bit he decided to commit to. they're always like lol percy where do you even FIND these pictures are you subscribed to like scientific journals for the laughs? but no he just took them all on his shell phone

has an ongoing prank war with annabeth's little brothers bobby and matthew but like it's Unhinged. they're playing 5D chess and she has no idea whats going on

weird tshirts!!! he loves them! like

shit like this or those 'women want me fish fear me' shirts, anything with a funny or incomprehensible slogan is going in his closet right along with his band tees lmfao

bought estelle a panda pillow pet when she was born 🥺

can NOT bring himself to eat seafood no matter how many times poseidon has told him its fine. he's like NO these are my FRIENDS JONATHAN WAS TELLING ME ABOUT HIS GRANDDAUGHTERS WEDDING LITERALLY YESTERDAY WHY IS HE ON A PLATTER DAD. they had to give up and just start eating normal land food at the palace every time he comes to visit lmfao

gets into horsegirl antics with hazel she NEEDS to know everything the horses have to say. they spend hours gossiping in the stables.

movie nights in the poseidon cabin were 10000% a thing and when he was missing annabeth and thalia and grover (and a few others) would still sleep in there every now and then and talk about how much they miss him :(

percy and beckendorf had the worlds most elaborate handshake

he DOES impulse buy stuff just because they're ocean-themed. stuffed animals, home decor, school supplies, clothes, you name it he bought it if theres like a fish on it

has more scars from crashing off his skateboard than he does from monster attacks

grover is somehow the only person who's ever noticed percy is severely claustrophobic

has a deep passion for adele. I can't explain this one I just feel and know it to be true.

he and annabeth both proposed to each other at the same time and they were SO mad about it they kept yelling over each other's speeches lmao

he can SING but he doesn't know it. sally keeps trying to record him singing to himself but something always happens to the camera and she loses the evidence

called chiron a brony one time and mr d thought it was so funny he was nice to percy for an entire week

the camp keeps trying to convince him to teach sword fighting lessons to the younger kids but he can NOT bring himself to swing a sword at a 9 year old so he keeps getting injured

has the most complicated iced coffee order in the world his go-to local coffee shop finally just put the damn drink on the menu and named it after him

he IS the quiet kid in the back of your math class that always has his hood up to try and hide his headphones and eats increasingly elaborate meals out of his backpack when the teacher isn't looking. one time someone caught him with a rotisserie chicken in the middle of a geometry final.

he argued that he DID have enough to share with the class

currently obsessed with the image of him knocking back a container of sea salt as if it was a shot and his mortal friends being like hey! what the actual fuck! and he's just like uhhhhh anemia kills!

its his birthday<3

okay, but percy being poseidon's kid gives him so many advantages that we probably never thought of. like, this boy can probably chew ice like it's no one's business, and not hurt his teeth. he can probably drink straight from the ocean without having to boil it beforehand. he has never choked on his spit in his life. he can probably run on wet, slippery floors and not fall. like, the possibilities are endless. i deadass would love a list.

Why Thalia, Percy, and Nico should be the little 3 instead of Percy, Nico, and Jason

1) All of them are greek, and it doesn't make sense for it to be 2 Greeks and a Roman. It might be my neuro divergence but it irks me to no end

2) Thalia is a queen and an OG. Before Jason, she was there

3) There's literally a whole quest with the 3 of them

4) They all have more history together!!! Thalia also knew Nico when he was a kid!!! She was on the quest that killed his sister!!!

4.5) She's also a Hunter of Artemis and there could be great character moments between her and Nico talking abt Bianca and helping Nico get over any resentment towards the hunter of Artemis

4.75) Look, Thalia must have also been affected by Bianca's death but nobody addresses it!!! It wasn't just Percy and Nico affected guys, Zoe, Thalia, and Grover were there too!!!

5) She helped create the Dam joke. I don't need to say anymore than that

6) This may be unintentional but I think it's unfair that Thalia and Hazel being the only female big 3 kids (except Bianca RIP) get shafted a lot in favour of their male counterparts

none of the wayne boys are sports fans

sure, they'll go to a game for fun, but

Duke loves hockey

and suddenly, Tim, Dick, Jason, and Damian are burdened with figuring out how hockey actually works

I want to see these interactions on-screen