"I cannot make you understand. I cannot make anyone understand what is happening inside me. I cannot even explain it to myself."
– Franz Kafka
today, i realized i am drowning.
i am drowning and i can't breathe. its all dark and too much. i am choking and coughing. but. the catch is, i tried to scream. i screamed till my throat bleed. but when i saw them laughing, i realized how it didn't matter. how i never mattered. my screams , my cry for help never mattered. they knew. they fucking knew but they shut me out.
They left me here. in the dark. to drown in blood.
"is this too cliche?" who cares? bro, write what you have fun writing. stuff your manuscript full of your favourite tropes. the same themes you love. all inspired by things you grew up with. do it all. go off. load. it. up. be freeeee
Why mother?
why did you tear me apart
when you should have kept me together ?
when you should have held me a bit closer ?
Why father ?
why did you pull me down
and drowned me in my tears
when you should have been my ladder ?
when you should have kept me warm under your wings ?
Why sister ?
why did you spat venom and killed me inside
when you should have been my pillar ?
when you should have hugged me tighter ?
“I understand. That’s the trouble. I understand. I’ll understand all the time. All day and all night. Especially all night. I’ll understand. You don’t have to worry about that.”
— Ernest Hemingway
What do I aspire to be ?
A walking contradiction.
NEVER let men be masculine. hold the line soldiers
I don't believe in god.
Nor in fate.
But I need to know.
If we will ever, like ever cross paths again.
Will I atleast get to say goodbye ?
passion.
it's supposed to be the burning flame,
the light that guides you forward,
the torch that lits the way.
but
sometimes,
the flame reduces to nothing but a spark.
and
the light seems so far that all you see is darkness.
and sometimes,
the torch burns a bit too much,
leaving us all in burned pieces.
~K
untitled (1.3.17)
d.b.a