“whatcha Got There?”

God I swear I already wrote this hc once upon a time but I can’t find it for the life of me so!

Billy Batson, young and homeless, is looking to make some extra cash to survive starts working at Whiz radio station. He gets bounced around doing various odd jobs but gets roped into taking over the nightly superhero hour when everyone else comes down sick. Bill doesn’t quite know what to do, he’s not great with words and hasn’t been to school in years. So he just starts talking from the heart. 

Billy talks about heroes, not just as paragons and icons but real live people being expected to shoulder the world. He brings up the various charities and causes heroes support and how ordinary citizens can be heroes in their own way. He never directly comments on current politics but instead speaks of morality and philosophy, not as a highly educated adult but a deeply empathetic child who has seen the worst the world has to over and continues to smile.

It’s an instant hit and Billy is brought on semi-permanently. He’s popular enough the radio forgives his odd hours and occasional absences and politely overlooks the fact that he ought to be in school/foster care. They give him a microphone that distorts his age and call him the Wizard. The show becomes so popular that it extends beyond Fawcett City and soon is being uploaded online and being broadcast around the country and behind. And some heroes listen in too. Barry listens to the program on his morning jog, it invigorates him to do better and makes him re-evaluate his role as a hero. Bruce will have it quietly in the background when he’s feeling low on a bad case to remind himself that all his efforts and suffering have meaning. Clark leans back in his chair at the Daily Planet and wonders how a civilian from the Midwest can understand the burden of heroism.

Billy is doing his program when the producer knocks on the glass window in a panic. Superman is here and wants to interview with Billy. Bill is freaking out, thinking he’s been caught but the first thing Supes does is gently cradle Billy’s small hands in his own and thank him for being a source of kindness and inspiration. Superman is thrown at first that the Wizard is a child, an obviously hardliving one at that, but presses on. The Man of Steel notoriously hard to interview but he chats easily with Billy, answering questions and debating morality and cause/effect of heroes and villains. The interview goes viral and soon even more heroes are stopping by.

Green Arrow comes and screams into the mic about the abuse of the government on underprivileged people. Wonder Woman and the Wizard have a fascinating, in depth discussion on gods and belief as both prove to be a wealth of obscure knowledge. One of the Robins comes and talks about kids in the hero biz and some unnnamed British man who keeps getting his swears bleeped out gives a kind of magic 101 which mostly translates to “don’t (bleep)ing mess with it”. Everyone wants to know who the Wizard is but his identity is locked down tight, first by Whiz radio, who knows they’ll be in trouble with child labor laws and the Justice League who has become obsessed with this kid. Many have wanted to adopt the precious bean to the detriment of Billy’s blood pressure.

Everyone always asks why Captain Marvel hasn’t come by for a visit. He’s so friendly and open and operates directly out of Fawcett City. Cap is sweating at the Watchtower when his friends are talking about the latest show and gently berating him for not interviewing. Billy is grimacing as his producer makes him ask, on air, if the Cap would show up for a chat. He just wanted to make a little bit of extra cash in his off hours and now he’s kind of an international sensation and unofficial hero whisperer. Maybe Constantine can help him with a sort of duplication spell?

probably should have saved a handful of these for december but i’m not about to wait that long

a quickie scribble, suggested by @venividivictorious, because this is hilarious and i doodled it on break

gangster house husband material

Batman’s tongue was too good for DC so DC banned him from going down on a woman

Bruce: I could hurt you if I wanted

Hal: Yeah? So could another human being

Hal: So could a dog, a cat, a cow, a bat??

Hal: So could a dedicated bird

Hal: You aren't special

My favorite running joke (so far) in yj98 is that Tim has taken Bruce’s old chair from when it was the JL base and just taped a robin symbol over the bat.

Dick sits in it too during the parent teacher conference 😌

The JL (specifically Bruce) kept sending notifications whenever Billy was at someone’s house and was about to sleep in. Billy got more house invites and with the house invites because the JL wanted him to sleep over at their places badly. And because of this, Billy got more nonsense calls/emergencies/missions. The JL (unintentionally) created a problem for the boy.

I feel like John won by accident because Billy was just tired from all the nonsense notifs that came everytime he was at someone’s house. Once John (unknowing of the rule) invited Billy over to the House of Mystery/his house/or something,  Billy was like “fuck manners, im fucking tired from JL shit” and slept

(or billy knew and he wanted john to win,,, who knows)

Due to the amount of League members who wanted to adopt/foster Billy Batson, A rule was created. Whoever gets Billy to fall asleep and spend the night at their house, gets to keep him.

Bruce thought he won when Billy fell asleep on one of his many couches. However, Dick bursted in saying how ‘he had to see his new baby brother’; prompting Billy to wake up and leave. Afterwards, Bruce would not talk to Dick for 3 days.

Clark came close when Jon and Billy were about to have a sleepover, but urgent JL notification came in. Meaning both Clark and Billy had to leave. Clark still thinks the notification was a set up by Bruce. (It was)

Diana claimed to win, but after some investigation it was found that Billy had spent the night at Themyscira, not Diana’s actual house.

Almost every member of the JL has tried. None has succeed.

gods and their favorites